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Miho

Miho

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The last few days I am overwhelmed with emotions. And after half a year of no self harm I hurt myself this morning.

I managed to not do it for this amount of time because my therapist told me that if I did they might not be able to help me anymore.

But today I could not contain myself. I felt ashamed as I had to call my therapist and tell her what I did. And tomorrow we have an evaluation planned so I am fearing that now. I just want to curl up and stay at home forever.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi Miho,
I'm so sorry your struggling, hope you heal very soon.
It's good you have therapist input, I hope she/he continues to help you.
Good luck for tomorrow.
Hugs
 
Miho

Miho

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Hi Miho,
I'm so sorry your struggling, hope you heal very soon.
It's good you have therapist input, I hope she/he continues to help you.
Good luck for tomorrow.
Hugs
Thanks. I notice that while in the bus over there I am anxious. I always worry they will say they can not help me and let me go.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
I'd talk it over with them about your anxieties if you can.
Hugs
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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I know how hard it is to stop self harming. I made a promise to stop self harming and some days it is hard to avoid it. I think doing things like listening to music, creating something, watching a movie, all of that really helps distract you a bit. I hope you feel better soon.
 
Miho

Miho

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Yes I have trouble not thinking about it. My arm still hurts but its so hard to think about something else. When I feel I deserve to be punished.
 
Miho

Miho

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This morning I messed up. After going against the voice in my head for the last few days I could not anymore and hurt myself. I did send an email to my therapist and I went to the doctor to get stiches. I am back at work now and trying to distract
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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This morning I messed up. After going against the voice in my head for the last few days I could not anymore and hurt myself. I did send an email to my therapist and I went to the doctor to get stiches. I am back at work now and trying to distract
I hope you're okay. Do you know what is causing you to feel this way?
 
Miho

Miho

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I think it happens because of a snowball effect in my mind. And I then get the thought that I need punishment because I am a bad person and then this happens.

My arm is still hurting and they were supposed to bring dressings over today but they didnt.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Hi Miho I’m sorry that you have had a relapse in self harming recently. It’s good that you have a therapist to help support you through this. I’d be surprised if she would stop working with you because you have self harmed again. Therapists are supposed to provide support through these matters: that’s what they are for.
It’s wonderful news that you went for six months without self harming! That makes me think that you might be able to get through another six months or longer without self harming if you take things one day at a time. I hope that you have a smooth recovery and that your meeting with your therapist goes well. Please keep us abreast of how things proceed for you. xo, j
 
C

candycane

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The last few days I am overwhelmed with emotions. And after half a year of no self harm I hurt myself this morning.

I managed to not do it for this amount of time because my therapist told me that if I did they might not be able to help me anymore.

But today I could not contain myself. I felt ashamed as I had to call my therapist and tell her what I did. And tomorrow we have an evaluation planned so I am fearing that now. I just want to curl up and stay at home forever.
So sorry your hurting right now.
I will keep you in my prayers.
I am glad you have an evaluation with your therapist.
Hope things improve for you.
 
Miho

Miho

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Thanks to both @JessisMe and @candycane for such thoughtful and kind messages. I am doing my best to stop that voice in my head that is telling me to do it. To cause pain because I am bad. And no one wants me.
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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Moominvalley
What helps me is taking care of myself and being kind to myself when I have thoughts about self harming. It's far from easy, but I try to do this even when I believe I need to hurt myself. I think you should try this, too. I hope your therapist will continue to try and help you out of this situation. I hope you feel better very soon and that everything improves. You're not a bad person. :hug:
 

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