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Rejection advice?

MrBond007

MrBond007

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2020
Messages
74
Location
England
First of all I'd just like to say that this issue I am currently having is not making me feel depressed. I just wasn't sure as to what part of the site I'm better putting this on but I figured it is most suitable in this forum.

This is also a follow-up to my previous thread: Slightly unsure on how to confess to my crush

Basically for those who haven't seen my previous thread as of yet. I have been close friends with this girl for over a year now and have liked her for several months. My friend also has a crush on her and has actually admitted it to her over a year ago, and even though he still likes her, to this day he has not asked her out (he doesn't know I like her too). So I figured I should probably give a shot at asking her out myself. Again this may be confusing for people who have not seen my previous thread, but I think this issue is better off in a separate one.

Okay so, by the end of my college day today when me and her where alone waiting to be picked up. My friends (including the one that liked her) had already went off to the bus station. I thought to myself that I finally have a chance at talking to her properly considering I was planning on doing that the day prior considering there is a time-frame where me and her are alone together, but my friend (who likes her) decided to just stick around for whatever reason haha. I asked her at the start of the college day today if I could ask her a question in private when we finish, so I was pretty glad to let her know that I wanted to ask her something at some point. Anyways after college today, me and her where alone outside the front of our college building and I started talking to her about stuff, then we started talking about how my friend feels about her (she only see's him as a friend though) and then we started talking about the topic of dates in general.

Eventually I had asked her how she would feel If I asked her out on a date. I virtually got the exact response I was expecting haha. She looked down and to the right, shrugged her shoulders and then told me she wasn't really looking for a relationship right now. And then she told me that she was busy with stuff, to which I fully understood because currently at college we all have mountains of work that needs to be done all of which are going to our grade before we go to uni next year. Not only that but she is also really busy outside of college, job-wise. She was overall very nice and kind about it though. I told her it was fine and that I completely understand what she means. Though I only saw this as a polite way of her saying "No". I also told her I wasn't necessarily going through the best of times either (since I was having some unrelated personal issues of my own). Anyways I was being picked up shortly after this so I ended up having to go. I asked her not to tell both my friends about this and she said she wouldn't which had me relieved a little especially considering on how my friend feels about her.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed but to tell you the truth, I don't really know how to feel. I just feel strangely empty. It's very odd. I feel slightly embarrassed at the fact that I made a move on her but I am honestly proud that I did it and actually took a chance at something. It's just going to be pretty awkward for me seeing her in college now knowing that I had actually asked her out. I am just kind of worried that I may have gave her a sour taste in her mouth. I'm also worried she might tell someone even though we are pretty close friends and she promised she wouldn't. I just hope she doesn't see me any less of a friend for asking her out. I also don't know how to feel because to some extent I am not sure on what is mean't to happen next if anything at all. I feel like I might've just shocked her by asking since I don't think she was expecting me to ask her out and thus resulted in a pretty hesitant response. But to be honest, who am I kidding.
 
N

NoOne5

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2020
Messages
1,551
Location
USA
Well my dear it's better to be single. Least for me. But since you want a lover then don't give up looking. The right woman for you is out there. :hug: :hug:
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
3,389
Location
London, ON
I feel slightly embarrassed at the fact that I made a move on her but I am honestly proud that I did it and actually took a chance at something.
The embarrassment will fade, and good for you taking the chance!

Now, don't change anything about how you were acting around her - be the same friend you were, and things will likely go back to normal.
 
N

NoOne5

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2020
Messages
1,551
Location
USA
Now, don't change anything about how you were acting around her - be the same friend you were, and things will likely go back to normal.
I couldn't have said it better myself. (y)
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,144
Location
Nashua NH
Congratulations on making that move! I agree with Nuke...now is the time to carry on as usual. It matters less that you didn’t get what you had wanted and matters more that you tried. Don’t hesitate to keep on trying with new and different people. Fear of what might or might not happen can hold us back so much in life. I would take from this gleaming satisfaction that you overcame your fear and tried. xo, j
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,520
Location
Canada
Well done Mr Bond. Speaking from my own experience I'd say it's better to try like you did. I have regrets over not trying before when the opportunity was there, even if sometimes when I did try it came across awkward or embarrassing and the result wasn't good. That's still better than regret from harboring an infatuation and never making a move.
 
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