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Rejected by a bartender! Worst feeling of my life

fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

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I've met a few ladies in bars. When they don't wanna talk to you then you have to back off. Sometimes they are waiting for someone and arrived early. Might even be gf of a bartender. I would feel less intrusive talking to a lady in a bar than in a coffee shop or in line at the post office. You win some, lose others. Rejection hurts coz you react to it in a way what feels like proof your a loser.

I think I advised someone here to check out a PUA pick up artist forum. Some of the guys are such nasticists that they can convince themselves that there must be something wrong with any woman who rejects them.

Rejection is part of life. In love, job, even getting into a popular course at college or into college.
 
ht46

ht46

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You can still go to the bar, its pretty trivial I doubt anyone will have an actual issue with you and if they do you can still go there for a beer, don't sweat it. If it's awkward who cares all the more interesting.
 
M

Mikey666

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Rejection is part of life. In love, job, even getting into a popular course at college or into college.


Err..... rejection is part of life. To say it isn't is complete denial, and if you tell or suggest this to people you are giving them an unrealistic expectation.

So next time they experience rejection (which surely the chances are slim if it's not part of life, right? 😂 ) They should think if telling someone the truth here, nothing nasty just the truth was helpful. Lol, we can't manipulate the truth, sometimes it may not be helpful or what we want to hear, but you can't just change it to what suits you unfortunately.
 
E

Ele123

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I think u should go back to the bar and say nothing about what happened to the bartender. Shes probably been asked out 100s of times. Shes probably forgotten about it by now. Or just say lighthearted to her god I'm sorry I was so drunk and asked u for ur number. I'm sure it's no big deal to her. Just enjoy the bar. We've all been rejected before, unfortunately that's life. Over thinking it wont help .
 
R

Rinoa

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I think the guy who said that to you probably underestimated your sincerity and thought it was cool like he was taking the high road by belittling you and just thought you were drunk. It did take courage so don't be disheartened and put off putting yourself out there again. I do also see the other side of it though, like if I was at work especially at a bar with drunk people I would probably say no even if I wanted to because of the weird power dynamic with her being the staff and all. She may not have even taken you seriously. If you go again I would play it very cool and not interact with her unless she does with you and see how she reacts. Otherwise probably don't go again in case it would make her uncomfortable and awkward, she probably feels bad about it, I don't know many people who feel good about rejecting someone else. Chin up there will be someone else for you , maybe on the same side of the bar from you next time?
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

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Asked the wrong bartender. Try another bartender
 
K

Keyboard Worrier

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Not everyone updates their social media regularly and even though hers says that she's single, she may not have thought to update it, or she is not long with her new partner, so doesn't want to change it yet. It takes great courage to approach girl like you did.
 
J

JustAUser

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Dont get upset man . Try again . Show your character . Catch her in the neighborhood next time
 
wednesday addams

wednesday addams

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Maybe when she posted single on her Instagram page, she was. When you saw her by then she did have a boyfriend. She could have been nicer about it though.
 

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