• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Recovery

C

carnesianblooms

New member
Joined
Feb 3, 2015
Messages
2
Hi All,

I am new to this site do not know if i am posting in the rite forum.

I want to discuss about my brother. He fell in love with a girl it was a one sided affair the girl got married to someone else. Now my brother blames my parents for all this he left his studies and quit many jobs. He is very stubborn for any thing that he wants. Thngs became so worse that he started physically abusing everyone at home and use to say go and find that girl from where ever she is. He doesnt even have her contact number or address. We made him meet a neuro psychatrist he priscrbed him medicines and his sitution improved slowly the dose was also reduced now he takes few medicine and does not sleep entire day unlike earlier when he use to sleep full day long.
He was asked for marriage if he was willing he agreed to that also unlike earleir when even the topic of marriage use to end up in fights.
Now when he started talking to the girl and things came so far as the date got finalised for his engagement he suddenly started saying that he will marry but he wants to marry both the girls. Inspite of making him understand he says either i will marry both or none.
The mistake that happened i feel is his medicines were given a little irregularly.
Please suggest what should be done should we get him married or not? And what further should be done so that he regains his normal life. It has been 5 years since that girl got married. we started the treatment in 2013 July and then stopped in October 2013 when he became fine. We again started the treatment in July 2014 when he started behaving in the same manner. Since july the treatment is continuing some days in between he says he doesnt want to have medicine so we dont give on those days to avoid arguments.
I am in real pain please help. I feel sorry for my parents as they are the ones dealing with him.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Hi and welcome to the forum.

I'm a bit unclear about what you mean about getting him married, and the fact that there seem to be two women he wants to marry?
Has he been in a long term relationship?

I understand you must be feeling upset by the situation, but you must accept that there is only so much you can do and you don't have much control over your brother's life. It's important that you keep safe and are able to look after yourself.
 
C

carnesianblooms

New member
Joined
Feb 3, 2015
Messages
2
Hi,

He was not in a long term relationship he was actually in love with a girl and it was a one sided affair. That girl got married my brother had shown interest in marrying her and told my parents to talk to the girl but because it was a one sided affair my parents were reluctant to talk to her about marriage. Since he started getting aggressive and started blaming my parents for not being able to marry that girl we thought that he is very eager to have a life partner and so after his short treatment we asked him about marrying another girl when he met that girl he liked her and agreed to get married and said that the previous girl whom he loved holds no importance in his life now and he is happy with the second girl. Date for engagement has been fixed suddenly few days back he said i want to marry this girl but i also want to find out that previous girl and marry her too.
So we want to know are we taking a right decision in getting him married to this new girl to whom he has said yes or should we call off the marriage.

Please suggest.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Hi,
I think this is ultimately a decision for you and your family to make.
Obviously I don't know your brother or the woman who he is due to marry, but if there is a chance that they'll both be unhappy it may not be a good idea to go ahead with the marriage.
I'm sorry I can't be any more help. I understand this is a difficult decision, but I think that ultimately you have to consider if both parties will be happy if the marriage were to go ahead.
 
Top