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Recovering from Bulimia?

S

ScrewLoose

Guest
New here.. Just wondering whether anyone here is recovering or has recovered from Bulimia?
I'm seeing doctors/counsellors for depression but I haven't told them about my eating disorder - nor do I think I can.
So I'm here trying to self help.. Hope someone can help with their experiences..
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Hiya,
I've only really had bulimic episodes that have gone away on their own.. it's not something i've done for a long period of time.
Is there a particular reason why you don't feel you can talk to any professionals? As i'm sure you already know, it would be good if they were made aware because they can help recommend resources to help you.
You can always just ask for help, but tell them you don't want them to mention the subject again unless you say you want to talk about it?

Am sorry I can't offer much help. I just saw you've not yet had a reply and wanted to respond. Perhaps this'll "bump" your thread and others might be more experienced and able to help.
 
S

ScrewLoose

Guest
Hiya,
I've only really had bulimic episodes that have gone away on their own.. it's not something i've done for a long period of time.
Is there a particular reason why you don't feel you can talk to any professionals? As i'm sure you already know, it would be good if they were made aware because they can help recommend resources to help you.
You can always just ask for help, but tell them you don't want them to mention the subject again unless you say you want to talk about it?

Am sorry I can't offer much help. I just saw you've not yet had a reply and wanted to respond. Perhaps this'll "bump" your thread and others might be more experienced and able to help.
I don't know why I don't feel I can tell the professionals.. It was hard enough talking about the rest of the depression related things.. I already feel like a complete freak. It's early days with the counselling so I'll wait and see how it goes before I get there..

Thank you for the reply. :)
 
N

notrealname

Well-known member
Joined
May 4, 2009
Messages
766
Hello! I have recovered from bulimia. I had anorexia first, which changed into non-purging bulimia (this means I used starvation and excessive exercise to 'balance out' binges rather than vomiting or laxatives). Nowadays, I'm pleased to say, I have no idea what I've eaten today - or this week - because I don't care anymore, and I also do not know how much I weigh (I also don't care), but I am healthy and slim and find my weight does not fluctuate. The most important thing I want to tell you is: this is absolutely wonderful and I feel so free. Stopping caring is the best thing ever. When you're still 'in it' you can worry that when you quit certain behaviours your life/weight (symbolic of 'life' for most people with eating disorders) will be chaotic and out of control, which is anxiety inducing and keeps you where you are even if you are desperate to stop. The truth is the opposite. Without ED your life is more in control (and so is your weight, incidentally, although you won't care anymore).

So on to how you do it. First thing's first, do tell a therapist. If you tell them about ED you will get specialist help.

Secondly, do not try to stop binging before you stop purging. This is how most of us do it because it is less scary, but it will take you a lot longer and may have detrimental effects. The best way is to forgive yourself a binge and not try to balance it out. The more you do not balance out, the less you binge, until ultimately you stop both behaviours, and eventually lose interest in the whole thing.

I've just made it sound simple. It isn't simple, it's emotional, but it's so worth it :) Good luck!
 
S

ScrewLoose

Guest
Hello! I have recovered from bulimia. I had anorexia first, which changed into non-purging bulimia (this means I used starvation and excessive exercise to 'balance out' binges rather than vomiting or laxatives). Nowadays, I'm pleased to say, I have no idea what I've eaten today - or this week - because I don't care anymore, and I also do not know how much I weigh (I also don't care), but I am healthy and slim and find my weight does not fluctuate. The most important thing I want to tell you is: this is absolutely wonderful and I feel so free. Stopping caring is the best thing ever. When you're still 'in it' you can worry that when you quit certain behaviours your life/weight (symbolic of 'life' for most people with eating disorders) will be chaotic and out of control, which is anxiety inducing and keeps you where you are even if you are desperate to stop. The truth is the opposite. Without ED your life is more in control (and so is your weight, incidentally, although you won't care anymore).

So on to how you do it. First thing's first, do tell a therapist. If you tell them about ED you will get specialist help.

Secondly, do not try to stop binging before you stop purging. This is how most of us do it because it is less scary, but it will take you a lot longer and may have detrimental effects. The best way is to forgive yourself a binge and not try to balance it out. The more you do not balance out, the less you binge, until ultimately you stop both behaviours, and eventually lose interest in the whole thing.

I've just made it sound simple. It isn't simple, it's emotional, but it's so worth it :) Good luck!
Thanks for your advice! It means a lot..

I was anorexic at 13 then a few years later moved on to Bulimia and that's stayed with me since. I thought at one point, I had 'cured' myself as I went a whole year without purging but then I find it always comes back.. usually when I'm experiencing one of my more extreme depressive episodes.. Then when it comes back - it becomes a habit and hard to shake off. I'm more in control of it now than I was in the past as I don't do it daily.. but it's still very much there and the slightest thing can trigger it.
For example, whenever I eat a takeaway.. or I'm feeling full.. or fat.. and generally when I'm feeling low and as though I've lost control of everything else in my life.

I will try bring it up with a therapist.. Thank you..
 
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N

notrealname

Well-known member
Joined
May 4, 2009
Messages
766
Thanks for your advice! It means a lot..

I was anorexic at 13 then a few years later moved on to Bulimia and that's stayed with me since. I thought at one point, I had 'cured' myself as I went a whole year without purging but then I find it always comes back.. usually when I'm experiencing one of my more extreme depressive episodes.. Then when it comes back - it becomes a habit and hard to shake off. I'm more in control of it now than I was in the past as I don't do it daily.. but it's still very much there and the slightest thing can trigger it.
For example, whenever I eat a takeaway.. or I'm feeling full.. or fat.. and generally when I'm feeling low and as though I've lost control of everything else in my life.

I will try bring it up with a therapist.. Thank you..
I'm so glad you will speak to someone about it. The help they can provide is so much more effective if they know everything about what is happening with you - and believe me, they've heard it all before and much worse!

The fact you've managed to go a year without doing it before tells me that you'll definitely managed to go without it in a forever way. I had similar triggers when I first started to get better - it was all about that feeling that I was losing control - and even now when I feel that life is chaotic I get urges to do situps. It's not even about weight anymore, I think it's just association (doing situps makes me feel better...) Although it wouldn't harm me now to do situps now and again, I just make sure I only do them if the motivation is right. I don't do situps to help me feel in control, I just recognise that I am in control. You'll get there, it's totally possible. I also had anorexia at 13 and I was bulimic until I was about 21. After that I think I no longer would have met the criteria for a full ED but I still panicked if I didn't know how many calories I'd eaten in a day or if I was prevented from doing daily exercise (even when it was in moderate/healthy amounts). It took me a few years to get used to not needing the control, but once that was gone it was gone forever. You're on the right path and you're already doing incredibly well. I think you're going to do great! :)
 
S

ScrewLoose

Guest
I'm so glad you will speak to someone about it. The help they can provide is so much more effective if they know everything about what is happening with you - and believe me, they've heard it all before and much worse!

The fact you've managed to go a year without doing it before tells me that you'll definitely managed to go without it in a forever way. I had similar triggers when I first started to get better - it was all about that feeling that I was losing control - and even now when I feel that life is chaotic I get urges to do situps. It's not even about weight anymore, I think it's just association (doing situps makes me feel better...) Although it wouldn't harm me now to do situps now and again, I just make sure I only do them if the motivation is right. I don't do situps to help me feel in control, I just recognise that I am in control. You'll get there, it's totally possible. I also had anorexia at 13 and I was bulimic until I was about 21. After that I think I no longer would have met the criteria for a full ED but I still panicked if I didn't know how many calories I'd eaten in a day or if I was prevented from doing daily exercise (even when it was in moderate/healthy amounts). It took me a few years to get used to not needing the control, but once that was gone it was gone forever. You're on the right path and you're already doing incredibly well. I think you're going to do great! :)
Yeah it took me so long to even realise or even admit that I had a disorder.. then I just tried to fix it myself but now that it keeps popping up, it's time I got help from elsewhere..

I obsess about my weight and haven't weighed myself in 15 years, I also eat in private a lot at home.. I just want to get to a point where none of this matters and I'm as 'normal' and healthy as I can be..

Thank you for your support. It's very much appreciated.. Sometimes reassurance is all a person needs!
 
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