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Recently Diagnosed

S

stolenbylove2215

New member
Joined
Jul 4, 2016
Messages
1
2 weeks ago I was diagnosed with PTSD
It made sense
it was nice to finally have some kind of answer
i hate that i have it
i hate that that's what they did to me
that i had a friend ask yesterday
one i was very proud in actually talking to
she asked me 'what did they do to you'
when i'm not ready to talk about it

i'm doing better though
i'm coming to accept the fact
that they abused me
they psychologically and emotionally abused me
they rejected me
they manipulated me
i was consistently seeking their approval
to never get it
i have cut everyone off from there
except this one girl
who sent me a friend request on facebook
i'm not saying they didn't do good with me
i'm saying that it wasnt what i expected
where they simply spit out robots
and i refused to conform
i was different
i am no longer ashamed of my difference
because i'm where my difference is embraced and loved
that i'm not used or manipulated
i am loved and appreciated for who i am
but this hit hard
and i cant even tell my parents
because they think it was all peaches and roses
i'm thankful for my church though
they have been really supportive
but i find it hard to trust
that i'll get too much for them
that its easier to trust strangers...
i've already lost an 8 year long friendship because they dont understand mental illness

i dont know what to do from here...
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

Member
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Jan 25, 2012
Messages
11,860
Location
UK
Hi stolenbylove. I just wanted to welcome you to the forum and say I'm sorry to hear you've been through these things that have led to your diagnosis. Yes it is very hard to trust when you have been psychologically and emotionally abused, and been rejected and manipulated. I'm glad you're in a place where you are loved for who you are and not manipulated any more, and that you're finding support in your church and in the friend from FB. You are right to recognise that you don't have to talk about things with someone if you're not ready to do that. I hope your diagnosis will help make sense of things more for you, and lead you to getting help that will make life better for you. Hang in there, it sounds like you have positive things going for you, and I hope joining the forum helps along the way too.

With all best wishes.


Alice
 
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