Recently diagnosed Bipolar II

[ladyofthesun]

Hii all

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II earlier in November and I have a lot running through my mind. Mostly questions about forming friendships and relationships because that seems to be where I struggle the most.

I realized that over the years I have put my friends and family through a lot. I did and said a lot of things that were hurtful. I am starting to realize these things after the fact and although there is no salvaging my past friendships, forming new ones is my main problem.

I recently moved away to college and have been trying to find my “people” i guess. But i find myself oversharing and dumping information about myself on people I just met. I tell them that I am bipolar and all this other stuff without realizing how it might affect them. I am also now seeing that I am very toxic as a friend and I dont know how to stop myself from doing thlse toxic things. Maybe this has nothing to do with my disorder and im just a bad person. I started taking abilify but I cant really tell if theres been any change.

I dont really know what the point of this post is I guess I just need some guidance or some pointers on how to navigate all this?? No one in my family likes to talk about mental health and I do not have any friends besides the new ones I made at college. I dont really have anyone to talk to about this besides my therapist. Guess I just wanted to hear from people who are going through the same or similar things as me.

thanks for listening

 

[Bipolarbear808]

Hi ladyofthesun,

Welcome to the community!

I think it's awesome that you acknowledge you've made mistakes in the past. I've also made a lot of mistakes in the past and I also have been very judgmental of myself. I think that the fact you're reaching out and trying to improve your relationships is really admirable. I think the best way to make new friends is simply to be your genuine self! Take Care!

 

[ladyofthesun]

Hi @Bipolarbear808

Thank you so much for your reply!

I think the best way to make new friends is simply to be your genuine self! Take Care!

This really resonated with my because often times when I hang out with my new friends I feel like I am not being my true self, it feels like I put on a mask or fake personality. I only feel that I am truly myself when I am alone. I guess it's because I think people will not like my true myself. But I'm going to take your advice and try to be as genuine as I can.

Thank you for your kind words! Wish you the best!

 

[BipolarGossamer]

I definitely had the problem where I started to overshare and I think people became uncomfortable when I did that. I also said and did things to my friends that probably did push them away. I would suggest talking about more casual things at first and show more of your inner personality before telling them what issues you deal with. Talking about serious topics too soon might make them feel uneasy and back out of a friendship. I usually tell someone about my issues if we're just friends when they feel close enough to me that I feel like they would be supportive and not see it as a big problem. A big thing is a lot of times people don't notice that you act differently unless you tell them. So yeah, I agree that you should just be yourself (but also try to not overshare super deep emotional information too soon) and you'll find people worth keeping around!

 

[healthybrain]

I'v had a lot of friendships that have ended on things I said. They don't get your brain is altered in a way that makes you do things like that. My medication took weeks to kick in and it helped with stuff like that. Your great for knowing what your doing and seeing your own problems, hats off to you. So many people go through life thinking their so cool and they arnt.