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Reasons not to self harm?

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emmaleemochizuki

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 13, 2020
Messages
253
Location
London
I have been dealing with voices and he is ok most of the time but lately he has been very nasty and he says these horrible things which I know are true, and he pressures me to hurt myself, which I have done at times but nothing serious, he says I'm pathetic, and I know that.

I have been resisting and resisting so hard to not listen but I am really struggling. I am under CMHT but I feel like I can't be honest with them because when I did they just threw the MHA at me, so I just tried to contain myself as much as possible and both me and him hate hospitals and hate being contained in environment we don't like. He says I'm a failure for not doing good enough in protecting him, and hiding his presence, yet he keeps trying to assert his presence.

Ok I'm rambling.

My reason not to is I hate having scars that I need to deal with for years after. It took so long for most of the old ones to fade so it is not as obvious but still visible. I want to work in hospitals or healthcare settings, I can't walk around with very visible self harm scars. And plus it doesn't help. It doesn't help me release anything or cope with anything. It is just a matter of following orders.

Give me more reason why I shouldn't..
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
9,123
Location
Nashua NH
You can’t let the voices win. You can’t let them think they have control over you or they will just keep working to gain more control. You are more beautiful without the scars. There are other ways to release or express negative thoughts and feelings than by self harming. Listening to music, making art, getting in some rigorous exercise, writing in a journal, these are some alternatives for release without self harming. Don’t let the voices sway you to do something that you know is bad and might not want to do. Take the best possible care of you because you are the only you that you have. You are worth it. xo, j
 
A

A1exV

Member
Joined
May 19, 2021
Messages
6
Location
UK
Hey

First off, sorry this is happening for you right now. When I have either harmed myself or thought about harming myself, it's been because I've had a huge pain or a huge anger inside of me but no way to express it. Or, no one to hear me express it. Sometimes self harm can seem like the only way to authentically express what you're feeling, I understand that.

So I guess some reasons not to do it would be things like, you care about your future (although I have been supported by people working in MH with self harm marks..). Also maybe that, over time, there are other ways to learn how to express the feelings you have without hurting your innocent, precious body.

I'm speaking as someone with huge laceration marks in very visible places, and, if that's what you have to go through too, OK. You will have been doing your best given the circumstances. What I've learnt is that, the way I relate to my emotions, even extreme ones, can change over time. Ways that mean I rarely think about hurting myself anymore.

With patience and the right people to support you (maybe you don't have the best right now, which sucks), maybe you can experience that change too.
 
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