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Really trying...losing the fight

G

gullett80

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Jun 30, 2016
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9
I really am doing my best right now, I am compliant with my meds I have a pyschiatric appointment in three weeks, my current goal is to hang on long enough. Life just keeps piling more on and the only person I have right now just sits asking side me confirming the choices in my head....that it's all my fault, that I have ruined everyone's life, that no one is better for knowing me. All the mistakes I have made have made me worthless. It's hard enough to fight the voice in your head but when there is a real one confirming it feels like a losing battle. It feels like no one understands what this is like. Severe depression has never been cured by "just stop it", "if you were really suicidal you would succeed".
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Hang on in there gullett, all things pass and this will too, big hugs to you. Are you able to get away from this person who is reinforcing all your negative thoughts for a while?
 
G

gullett80

Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2016
Messages
9
I wish I could. Unfortunately since I'm "crazy" he says he will call the police and tell them I'm having another "episode". I did manage to bump up my psychiatry to Wednesday. Lee's time I have to hang on.
 
Q

Queenie

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Jun 30, 2016
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245
:hug1:

Is there any way you can contact your mother or trusted friend or another family member and ask to stay with her for a while because your husbands attitude towards you is negative and I have to be frank, quite toxic at the moment and is making you feel worse??
 
Last edited:
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Unless the police consider you to be a risk to yourself or others they will not (and xan not by law) do anything, even if they picked you up so long as you cooperate the worst that will happen is they will take you to hospital for a psych assessment which if they find you are not a risk to yourself or others they will release you again. My husband disapeared in a state of acute psychosis and there was nothing anyone could do. Unless you are held under section you are free to leave and you have to be really poorly to get sectioned for anything longer than an assessment period. Even if you are under a home treatment order I can't see they would have a problem with you moving somewhere else so long as you informed them where you were going.

The fact that your husband is choosing to use your diagnosis against you where it suits and not believe it when it doesnt worries me and adds to me feeling that you need some time away from him, the way things are at the moment doesn't sound healthy for you. Do you have a mental health team supporting you? Could you discuss your feelings with them they may be able to help you find other accommodation in the short term.
 
C

Cat Lady

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Sep 23, 2015
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93
you are not worthless that is the illness telling you that.I hope you get the help you deserve. :hug:
 
Drooo

Drooo

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Jun 8, 2016
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I feel your pain about having to hold on for an assessment. Mine is five weeks away now, I have been holding on for nearly two months already, these last five weeks are going to be so hard. One thing I try to do is to just say to myself "OK, lets just make it through today". Each day I do this. It's much less daunting and triggering than thinking of the time that you have to wait, it's still really hard, but I find it helps a bit.

The person you are hearing from does sound quite poisonous, I would highly recommend you getting away, at least for a little while. Best of luck with things.
 
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