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Really struggling

S

shadow456

New member
Joined
Dec 20, 2015
Messages
2
Newbie here and hoping this reach out may help. I'm really struggling at the moment. I'm in my early thirties and moved to the area for a new job two years ago. My situation is I do not have any friends, I work alone so I don't even have work colleagues, I feel so isolated! For the past year my sister has lived with me but she is moving out on Christmas Eve and basically our Christmas plans were cancelled this week due to her moving in with her boyfriend - they have both been living with me for the past 3 months, which has only made me feel more isolated (them making jokes / judgements at my expense, really hurtful but I don't show it, I've just become more withdrawn). I do not have any other family in the area.
I have major money worries, my income has been cut with losing a tenant who rents out my flat down south and now with my sister moving, the start of the year looks bleak). Feeling I must have been really horrible in a previous life or something, the past six months have been particularly difficult, I had to put my oldest dog to sleep, my appendix ruptured so been dealing with the recovery, so many money worries, soon to be living alone again and I have zero friends or acquaintances.
To be honest my mind is constantly resorting to enough is enough, this life is not for me - which I know is selfish and an un-natural thought but seriously how much longer do I keep 'existing' just so other people don't feel crap when I'm gone (I am aware how selfish that sounds but I can't help it). I am here out of desperation - I desperately want to turn this around!!
 
Nikita

Nikita

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
4,931
:welcome:Shadow,
I am sorry things feel so bleak for you at this time.I have felt at times that why do I exist and why am I alone and what is the point of going on.

I have been isolated too and it is definitely a soul cruncher.I have started looking up situations where I can go meet new people, meetup.com online,I found a group in my area,they are all with social anxiety issues,I am trying to pluck up the courage to go.

You might like to forgive your sister and her new boyfriend we all get selfish when we get together with a partner,probably when the newness of the relationship wears off she might be considerate of you again.

Money worries are the pits too,I know.

I guess it is hard.This forum helped me a lot,I was so isolated at one point that I was very scared,irrational and suicidal.We lose all sense of reality and perspective when isolated.

Use this forum for company to start with,then find groups to join to pursue your interests,you will meet friends eventually.

I hope this forum helps you.Nikitax
 
S

shadow456

New member
Joined
Dec 20, 2015
Messages
2
Hi Nikita,

Thank you for your reply and kind words - I really hate myself for feeling so irrational and unable to get a handle on things, esp as I am aware (usually after a few days of meltdown) of how 'small' my issues are. I just wish I had a friend / family close by to help when everything gets overwhelming but finding this forum has really helped me today.

Thank you again x
 
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