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Really struggling with urges

H

happyhappy

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
820
Location
uk
All day I have wanted to drink.I neverdrink during the day but I want to drink myself into unconciousness. Then my thoughts moved to another means of self harm, that would give me the unconciousness I require but not without significant risk and probably almost certainly a hospital visit. I KNOW how wrong this is, I KNOW how crap I would feel afterwards, I KNOW the implications on the security of my family but I am still plotting and planning.
WTF is wrong with me. I am so feckin self destructive.

HH
 
mitsie65

mitsie65

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2013
Messages
8
Location
Kirkwall, Orkney
Sorry to hear you feel like this.

I can relate to what you are saying, even though its different for every person, i had (have) the same situation. I have a really bad problem with self harming but for a month or so around christmas it moved to drinking - its all i could think about, i would even end up going to some appointments after having quite a few drinks.

I managed to stop this and cut back on the drinking but recently i have been self harming again quite badly due to it being a bad time of year for me but then i started drinking again and its all i can think about. The worst part about drinking i find is it only seems to numb my pain for so long then the next day i feel even worse :( I don't know why i do it when i know what the consequences are but usually all that seems to be on my mind is that its either this or hurting myself
 
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