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Really struggling pure O getting worse

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Lucy232

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Hi

I am really struggling at the moment and I am honestly at breaking point. I’ve always had what I thought was health anxiety but now have been told by several professionals it is really a type of OCD as I obsess over illnesses.. my main two HIV and schizophrenia

I have also had pure O thoughts for as long as I can remember but never really bothered me as I didn’t focus on them and they went away

however the last month I having what I would say a mental breakdown..my OCD is currently manifesting in repeating words and phrases over and over in my Head, these are intrusive phrases about ppl I love are disgusting and something I’d never want to do. They are command like phrases which scared me it was schizophrenia. So I paid £400 to go to a top psychiatrist who said I absoloutley do not have schizophrenia but I do have OCD

I thought this would calm me down but it hasn’t.. I repeat the phrases all the time and if I noticed I haven’t done it I will say it. I’ve even stopped being around ppl
Cos I will say the phrases in my
Head when talking to ppl. My life is falling apart because of this, the thoughts are in my head morning to night and making me feel crazy . I even went to A and E with this and saw a mental health nurse who said that again this is anxiety/OCD.

I spend all day on mental health forums literally and I cannot stop myself. This and repeating these phrases is ruining every minute of my life, I’d never harm myself but I’ve had thoughts that if this is my life now I’ll have to

Please any advice ?
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear you are struggling with this. I have them too sometimes, ruminating on old memories and sometimes repetitive nonsense phrases. All I know how to do is try to get enough sleep, take a nap, go for a walk, try to eat healthy. Anything to reduce anxiety reduces the thoughts for me. Rest is key, anxiety is exhausting.
 
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kodabear1024

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Your brain is attaching itself and sticking to what you are most afraid of. Just by you hating this already says they are Intrusive Thoughts. Label them. Thoughts can not hurt you. The more you try to push them away the stronger they get. You have to do the opposite and let them be.
 
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Lucy232

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I was prescribed fluoxetine but I’ve never been on any meds before and I’m on day 3 and tbh it’s making me feel worse which I know can happen but they are affecting my sleep and eating this has just suddenly happaned in the last month I’m 31 and I’ve never really had any MH issues apart from health anxiety/ mild anxiety so I don’t know where this has come from. I really don’t want to be like this forever I’m signed off work and can barely function it’s like it happened over night
 
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Lucy232

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I’m not sure I want to carry on with the meds as they are honestly making me feel awful! I know it gets better before it gets worse but i has self harm thoughts today and that’s not normal for me. I am doing CBT and I also already have that book you suggested but thanks for the suggestion.

it’s making me feel weird and like I want to avoid these ppl it’s about as if they know the phrases I was repeating in my head they’d been horrified. It’s got the the point I’m kinda doing it on purpose now but I can’t stop it wtf is that about ! I know it’s not a voice it’s defo my inner voice but sometimes the sentence is kinda just automatic and I’m like wtf!
 
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Lucy232

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Also just to add atm these ‘sentences/ phrases’ are being repeated nearly all day
 
mischief

mischief

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So I paid £400 to go to a top psychiatrist who said I absoloutley do not have schizophrenia but I do have OCD
Did this top psychiatrist develop a plan with you for dealing with the thoughts?

Please any advice ?
My advice is to read up as much as you can about OCD, and identify a way of treating your OCD that will work for you.

You could find a NHS psychological therapies service using their finder at:


If you don't want to wait to see a clinical psychologist through the NHS you could consider paying for a private one who specialises in anxiety disorders.

This web page may give you a basic understanding of what is happening with the OCD:


There are some books in the forum's Mental Health Bookshop that may help.
 
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BlueWater

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My OCD is a lot like yours. It sucks. I'm in private counseling and have a private GP who emphasizes psychopharmacology. Like you, I've spent too much time on these forums, but am slowly spending less. Right now for meds I take:

Lamictal 125mg - slows my mood changes, softens moods so I don't erupt in anger as often, quiets OCD triggers to a degree.
Hydroxyzine 25mg - insomnia, anxiety
Lunesta 3mg - insomnia
Propranolol 10mg - Just started this one. I take it at bedtime but it can be taken anytime of day. It calms the physical effects of anxiety and helps me sleep better.
Trazodone 25-50mg - insomnia, helps me sleep deeper
Klonopin .5mg - OCD, anxiety, panic, insomnia

In a few days, I'm going to try Buspar 7.5mg. My doc says I have to take it everyday. It's for anxiety. Reviewers said it calms overthinking.

I recently tried Lexapro 5mg. I lasted five days then I got a terrible ear and jaw ache then a buzz in my ears. It increased my anxiety so I stopped it and started Propranolol. It helps a lot. I've been on Klonopin for a year. It's slower acting and better for OCD thoughts that won't stop so I can sleep.

I have health anxiety, ROCD, checking OCD and some contamination OCD. I've been in talk therapy for a year. Ups and downs. I hope after I get my anxiety under control I can try Lexapro again. My health anxiety and ROCD are by far my worst.
 
L

Lucy232

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Did this top psychiatrist develop a plan with you for dealing with the thoughts?



My advice is to read up as much as you can about OCD, and identify a way of treating your OCD that will work for you.

You could find a NHS psychological therapies service using their finder at:


If you don't want to wait to see a clinical psychologist through the NHS you could consider paying for a private one who specialises in anxiety disorders.

This web page may give you a basic understanding of what is happening with the OCD:


There are some books in the forum's Mental Health Bookshop that may help.
She prescribed me fluxotine which I think I’m gna stop taking and I’m already doing CBT on the NHS I had my first session on Tuesday. It’s the fact my ‘thoughts’ come in sentences repeating over and over again that effects me especially as I have a fear of schizophrenia due to my health anxiety. If it was more thought based I’d be less concerned
 
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BlueWater

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She prescribed me fluxotine which I think I’m gna stop taking and I’m already doing CBT on the NHS I had my first session on Tuesday. It’s the fact my ‘thoughts’ come in sentences repeating over and over again that effects me especially as I have a fear of schizophrenia due to my health anxiety. If it was more thought based I’d be less concerned
Unless you're hearing, seeing or feeling things while awake then your psych ought to be right. I have nocturnal hallucinations but they are part of my anxiety. I don't always repeat sentences but I do repeat themes.
 
L

Lucy232

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My OCD is a lot like yours. It sucks. I'm in private counseling and have a private GP who emphasizes psychopharmacology. Like you, I've spent too much time on these forums, but am slowly spending less. Right now for meds I take:

Lamictal 125mg - slows my mood changes, softens moods so I don't erupt in anger as often, quiets OCD triggers to a degree.
Hydroxyzine 25mg - insomnia, anxiety
Lunesta 3mg - insomnia
Propranolol 10mg - Just started this one. I take it at bedtime but it can be taken anytime of day. It calms the physical effects of anxiety and helps me sleep better.
Trazodone 25-50mg - insomnia, helps me sleep deeper
Klonopin .5mg - OCD, anxiety, panic, insomnia

In a few days, I'm going to try Buspar 7.5mg. My doc says I have to take it everyday. It's for anxiety. Reviewers said it calms overthinking.

I recently tried Lexapro 5mg. I lasted five days then I got a terrible ear and jaw ache then a buzz in my ears. It increased my anxiety so I stopped it and started Propranolol. It helps a lot. I've been on Klonopin for a year. It's slower acting and better for OCD thoughts that won't stop so I can sleep.

I have health anxiety, ROCD, checking OCD and some contamination OCD. I've been in talk therapy for a year. Ups and downs. I hope after I get my anxiety under control I can try Lexapro again. My health anxiety and ROCD are by far my worst.
how long have you dealt with this ? As mine has only come on very recently. I think part of my compulsions are googling and looking on forums even what I’m doing now posting here is reassurance seeking really which is Just fuelling the fire.

that’s a lot of meds to be on. Due to my health anxiety I don’t know if I would be able to cope with all them meds as taking meds gives me anxiety. As this is a very new thing for me I really want to try and stick it out without them.

my thoughts do allow me to sleep but I will wake up and they are there straight away..

I literally cannot stop these horrible intrusive phrases on a loop!! It’s making me feel terrible

I don’t have RCOD but I do remember years ago with an ex wondering if I even loved him or was attracted and couldn’t stop thinking about it and worrying but it went away. I also remember being younger and having thoughts of PCOD which is coming back a bit now. It’s just it never really bothered me back then but now the thoughts are stuck
 
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Lucy232

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Unless you're hearing, seeing or feeling things while awake then your psych ought to be right. I have nocturnal hallucinations but they are part of my anxiety. I don't always repeat sentences but I do repeat themes.
no I’m not doing any of this whilst awake however I do have them when I fall asleep sometimes if I am very anxious and now I’m focusing on them more. The psych said to me it I had shiz she’d have known from when she first saw me even by the way I walked as she’s been doing this for 30 years.. apparantly anyways
 
B

BlueWater

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no I’m not doing any of this whilst awake however I do have them when I fall asleep sometimes if I am very anxious and now I’m focusing on them more. The psych said to me it I had shiz she’d have known from when she first saw me even by the way I walked as she’s been doing this for 30 years.. apparantly anyways
She sounds right. I have these hallucinations while falling asleep especially when I'm very anxious. I've seen snakes, seen the walls change colors and felt like someone touched me and woke me up all while falling asleep or having been asleep for a few hours or less. But when my anxiety passed so did those hallucinations. Look up hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations.

I have a close friend whose son has schizophrenia. When he's not on meds his eyes are spacey, he doesn't make sense when he talks, he's aggressive, has been arrested several times, involuntarily committed three times due to arrests, lived in group homes. When he's on meds he's overweight but in his eyes you see he's there.
 
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Lucy232

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She sounds right. I have these hallucinations while falling asleep especially when I'm very anxious. I've seen snakes, seen the walls change colors and felt like someone touched me and woke me up all while falling asleep or having been asleep for a few hours or less. But when my anxiety passed so did those hallucinations. Look up hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations.

I have a close friend whose son has schizophrenia. When he's not on meds his eyes are spacey, he doesn't make sense when he talks, he's aggressive, has been arrested several times, involuntarily committed three times due to arrests, lived in group homes. When he's on meds he's overweight but in his eyes you see he's there.
I don’t have hallucinations where I see things when I’m falling asleep but I do have them where I’ll hear a random word or a random sound but yeah I’ve looked them up seen as my health anxiety /OCD makes me look up every single thing.

well I don’t sound like that although I am very spaced out lately due to the anxiety.Just want to stop repeating these horrible sentences !!
 
Z

Zoe1

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you could try writing down the sentences Lucy
and then write down the opposite of the sentence and say that
 
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