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Really struggling being in the same house as my parents in recent times, don't know what to do or how to be

R

rubydragon

New member
Joined
Feb 9, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Norwich
Currently here in the UK we are in the third national lockdown so most days bar walks, excerise or errands I'm at home.

This lockdown in particular I've found it really hard and stressful day by day being at home. Dad is currently experiencing health problems with the signs pointing to it being Crohn's disease, he's been told in no uncertain terms to give up smoking, he's been a heavy smoker for at least 40 years. Now I 100 percent understand how the impact of Crohn's (if it is Crohn's) and smoking withdrawal can have on someone, I do my best to give him space, offer help (I'm doing everything that involves going out that he would be doing) and give advice/pointers whenever I feel it would be of use but every single time I get shutdown, screamed at, comments get made behind my back. It feels like nothing I say or do is right and I'm pretty much just his verbal punching bag.

The relationship with my dad has always been rocky, how he treats my mum, how he treats the home, among other things I won't go into. He just never wants to talk to me or be around me unless it is 100 percent on his terms. I have more of a relationship, closeness and get on more on a daily basis with mum and even so I find everything that goes wrong in the house gets blamed on me, I can never do anything right or say anything right and I'm constantly being nit-picked for every tiny thing. Plus Dad's effect on Mum then leads to Mum taking it out on me and pretty much only me.

I just don't know what to do or how I should be on a daily basis because it feels like every day right now I'm getting verbally abused or shouted at no matter what. I get made to feel aswell like I am the big problem and I'm the worst thing in the House. I'd so love to move out but I just love my own company too much. I couldn't bare living with randoms and financially being in lockdown and on furlough right now not earning enough. Would only earn enough to cover rent and some bills when back in work normally, not all the bills and shopping on top.

Really need advice and support what to do, how to be and where to go.
 
J

JeanPierre

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
2,089
Location
Southern USA
That sounds horrible.
I'm so sorry. It's so stressful right now.
Welcome and best luck here!
 
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