Really Pissed Off

Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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#1
I have had massive problems my whole life, as long as I can remember, have never fitted-in, never really understood why. But I'm starting to :)

When I was nipper in primary school, I took some real shit. I was once massively embarrassed by a teacher, who put me before the class and smacked my arse. I hate her guts - and she's still a teacher, or was until recently.

Why did she smack my arse, and humiliate me in class? I had a problem - a very noticeable one. I used to nod my head, fling my arms out, spit out, make grunting sounds, and whisper or shout out 'piss off fucking hell' very quickly, and over and over. I couldn't help this. It just came, and if I didn't, it felt like I would burst.

My family went back to our GP again and again and a-fucking-gain. I was in my first year of primary school when my arse was smacked, so I was pretty young. I did get to finally see a child psychiatrist in my first year of secondary - I was 11.

That's a long time to go through highly toxic, stigmatizing, destructive shite, that makes you a massive laughing stock, and target for bullies, both child and adult.

What did the psychiatrist conclude, after just about six sessions in the child guidance clinic? That I was 'well-adjusted', and there was nothing to worry about. Wow.

And guess what? The same psychiatrist I read about in the local paper some years later, was sent to prison for being a dirty pedophile, who abused kids in his inpatient facility. Another wow.

I wasn't an inpatient. I was an outpatient. But does a man who has a sexual interest in young children, have their best interests at heart? Does he fuck. He was a proper sadistic twat, who I maintain got off on fucking kids up, by leaving them untreated and in the shit.

I believe I was deliberately case-closed with what at the time, was clearly Tourettes.

My life is in ruins in some, if not all, respects. I have never had a career or anything productive to do, I do not connect with people all that well, I have no reliable circle of friends, I have no satisfactory intimate relationship. I had my last girlfriend at 16, and it lasted a week.

I have had a diagnosis of schizophrenia, and have recently been diagnosed with ASD.

There are very suspect and highly questionable logs - both NHS and policing - attached to my address. I was first arrested in my 40's, and had no criminal or forensic history prior to that. I have NEVER been taken to court, despite trying in my own way, to secure some judicial and legal review of my situation.

I wonder fucking why? Answers on a post card. Innit. LOL.

You're supposed to receive a conviction notice or similar aren't you, when professionals in your care, are had up for serious offences.

I have been ambushed too. I think the cowardly fucks in the NHS and the Police want to paint a bad a picture of me as they can, to cover their own dirty, sorry backsides.

Epic Fail :)
 
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Kerome

Kerome

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#2
My view on this is that everyone goes through life doing the best that they can, given the background that circumstances and their parents gave them. Perhaps that psychiatrist was abused as a child, you don’t know. But I feel that people inherently do what they can to make a good life for themselves and their loved ones.

So when we come across people who hurt us, it’s often that they are carrying out patterns that they have inherited from their parents, teachers and so on. The whole process of rectifying these things, of introducing greater compassion and removing old inherited harm, is something that psychologists have been working at for ages.

The process of working through our own trauma is something that takes time. Finding ways to love ourselves, forgive ourselves for things we did which in hindsight were maybe not right, accept ourselves in the present moment and in the past, these things are all difficult but very worthwhile. It’s good to spend time and effort on introspection, on why things are the way they are, and finding some love for that boy with Tourette’s.
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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#3
Those are kind and helpful words, kerome :)

I thank you for them :)

When I was arrested by the Counter Terrorism Police in 2010, I was sectioned. I made it clear I would have a proper pop at them and the NHS in court. One of the officers said he was keen to see me 'get the help and support' I needed. He, for his own part, probably meant it. I was sectioned, and left to the dirty twats in the NHS.

I have tried long and hard to resolve this matter. But so far, I have only spoken to the Police and the NHS themselves about the matter. Sometimes nicely. Sometimes not so nicely.

It was recently said: 'have you ever known the coppers not to respond to someone so distressed....'

I made two 999 calls, and the Police threatened me saying: 'Don't call again. Or we'll come and see you'.

Wow. Just fucking Wow.

Talking to the Police and the NHS about this now is a fat, useless, waste of time. But there is such a thing as charitable and unbiased victim support. And there are such a thing as journalists and lawyers :)

The Police and the NHS officials who have been involved in my case, need to know that no matter how much shit they throw in my direction, and no matter how black a picture their stitch-up ambush seeks to paint of me, that will reflect on them also. And much, much more than they have prepared for.

They have had their chance, and now I am taking it forward, to an open court if necessary. And there's nothing they can do about it. I intend to hold the professionals as accountable as possible, and metaphorically rip their fucking heads off and their hearts out, and lay them to waste on their own turf :)

I am going to make them known, and put an end to them.
 
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Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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#4
The cowardly, dirty, corrupt, vermin police and NHS officials, who have shafted me, covered things up so as not to be accountable, ambushed me to make it harder for me to complain and have the confidence to seek effective redress, need to know fully: all their dirty, dirty work has been in vain, and they have FAILED :)

I am going to knock them down.

just to add, I have NEVER been so committed to anything, in my entire life. I am going to choke the life out of the corrupt Police and NHS twats in court, and knock them the fuck out anyway I can.
 
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Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#5
hi ,i will try read this properly later (concentration bad right now) i had a quick read and wanted to say im sorry you have been through so much
sending lots of love and hugs :hug5: fairy lu xx
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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#6
Thanks, Lu :)

I am going to feel better - when I have brought the corrupt NHS officials, the Police, and the Counter Terrorism Police, to their knees in their own environment.

The Police, the Counter Terrorism Police, and the NHS, are NOT above the law.

They are going to pay for what they have done, which consists of wilfully evading responsibility and accountable, when apologising, keeping promises, and trying to put it right, would have been the most sensible thing to do - especially since I gave them chance after chance after chance, to do just that. And it fell on deaf ears. Sometimes I've even been mocked as well, not simply ignored, and subject to veiled threats.

Too late. Now I simply want at them :)
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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#7
I want the NHS, the Police, and the Counter Terrorism Police, the corrupt, sad, pathetic, dirty wankers who shafted me and covered their arses, to really, really, really, really fucking suffer :)

They NEED to understand, and get their heads around it FAST. They ARE going to be made known - and suffer. That's not a promise or a threat. That is a statement of very cold, very hard, Fact.

They are going to suffer :)
 
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madfryer

madfryer

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#8
yes i think sympathy has gone out of the dictionary i remember when i got picked up before being sectioned after what i did to myself other than disbelief from the police it was your not that mad woman from ........ yes i can understand what you are saying i think they all ought to go on a course its a shame we cant make them hear voices in there head to understand what mental health is all about corruption is not good not in this day and age but there is lot of movement other countries departing you are going to get friction and with that frustration and anxiety
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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#9
Trust me, they are going to be fucking astounded.

Bloated fart officials from the NHS, and top brass coppers with years and years of fucking service, adorned like SS officers or black jacks (no offence to black jacks regarding the comparison), are going to be totally stunned and absolutely taken aback, by what's facing them :)

Never will they have seen anything like it :)
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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#10
I will not rest until I have subjected the Police and the NHS, to the maximum amount of distress, and disarray within their ranks, as I conceivably can, and that they are absolutely clear and certain, why I have done so.

I hate the ground they walk on, and that's never, ever, going to change :)
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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#12
I'm pretty pissed off to be fair. I've made a real mess, but have had a LOT of VERY SLY AND DEVIOUS help along the way in making it. That doctor when I was 11 made a bad move, and it should have been put right long, long ago. I'm not sure I can stand the damage now :)
 
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B

Boring

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#13
dude, this reminds me of how i react when i get banned from an online community. trying to attack online community officials does not helps me much. i just move onto a better community that understands me. it saves me time. i would rather enjoy my life in a better community, than try to take the bad communities down. the bad communities, by nature and God, will collapse within themselves, so there's really no need. and i'd rather spend my time enjoying life, rather than attacking a community's head which is usually impossible and risky.
 
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P

Paranoid_Android

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#14
The cowardly, dirty, corrupt, vermin police and NHS officials, who have shafted me, covered things up so as not to be accountable, ambushed me to make it harder for me to complain and have the confidence to seek effective redress, need to know fully: all their dirty, dirty work has been in vain, and they have FAILED :)

I am going to knock them down.

just to add, I have NEVER been so committed to anything, in my entire life. I am going to choke the life out of the corrupt Police and NHS twats in court, and knock them the fuck out anyway I can.
A Dr sexually abused patients in a ward that I was on but it was in the past at that point. I only found out last year from someone who works for the NHS that he got caught. I was upset because when I was in hospital the first time (2009) one of his victims who had split personally was on the ward. I thought it was cruel sectioning a rape victim on a ward where he himself was rapped when he was younger. For all we know he was totally sane and only have split personality because he was rapped by that Dr.

My sister in-law was also rapped by a male patient when she was 14 and on the children's ward. I asked her to speak up because that guy is still being admitted to the hospital but she refused. I don't blame her, she was just a kid when it happened and it's (I believe) turned her into a totally control freak.

Also when I was in hospital in 2009 a women got admitted that had been rapped by someone who worked for the mental health team and the police locked her up for 48 hours in a police cell because of it. I remembered years later and tried to report something else she told me about but the local police station said that she'd to repot it herself. How can she report it? I don't understand. The world's a cruel place.
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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#15
There's a lot that needs facing up to out there, and if the truth be told, the 'system' if you like, would go into a severe logistical crisis, from which it would not recover easily, if ever :)

A new world order? Or as much changes, stays the same :meanie: