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Really need some help please!

H

HiThere

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Joined
Jun 24, 2017
Messages
9
Hi, so basically my sister has alwasy caused problems, we don't know what is wrong with her but my mum thinks she may have a multiple personality disorder. She has been through bad stuff but most people have so I don't think it explains her behavouir, such as being very manipulative and lying.

Anyway about a year ago she got had to leave her flat so has been living with "friends" that take drugs and don't work, are basically a bad influence. But she keeps demaning money from my mum then promises she will change but she doesn't. If she isn't given the money she threatens suicide and comes out with all these sobs stories. It has made my mum ill and put her further into debt because if she doesn't give her the money then she is worried sick, worried she will harm herself or steal.

The thing is my sister doesn't seem to care about my mum or me. Im not sure what she cares about. She is probably doing some drugs but I don't think she is an addict, probably just recreational use.

So how do I get my sister to change? How do we stop this emotional blackmailing? My mum won't cut her off, and I don't want to do that either. I want her to get help and change but we can't force her to.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any help.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Jun 13, 2015
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Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Hello Hithere, Welcome to the Forum. Your sister is blackmailing your mother and keeping you all as prisoners in her emotional extortion. You have to stop enabling her by giving her money. I can't say I know for a fact that she won't commit suicide. But I know that what you are doing isn't working. You have to do the opposite. If she threatens you with suicide again when you withhold the money, you could get her sectioned/Baker Acted.
 
SomeGuywithAspergers

SomeGuywithAspergers

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Jun 22, 2017
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72
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A Point in Space
If anything, your sister might be experiencing histrionic personality disorder. If so or anyways, taking her to therapy would be really helpful in trying to make better decisions for herself and restraining herself from blackmailing her relatives. You might also want to hold family therapies and have a well talked and deep conversation on what she needs to fix and (if you can) that she can live with one of you so that you can monitor her progress.
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

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Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
3,381
Location
Pyongyang, DPRK
Hi, so basically my sister has alwasy caused problems, we don't know what is wrong with her but my mum thinks she may have a multiple personality disorder. She has been through bad stuff but most people have so I don't think it explains her behavouir, such as being very manipulative and lying.

Anyway about a year ago she got had to leave her flat so has been living with "friends" that take drugs and don't work, are basically a bad influence. But she keeps demaning money from my mum then promises she will change but she doesn't. If she isn't given the money she threatens suicide and comes out with all these sobs stories. It has made my mum ill and put her further into debt because if she doesn't give her the money then she is worried sick, worried she will harm herself or steal.

The thing is my sister doesn't seem to care about my mum or me. Im not sure what she cares about. She is probably doing some drugs but I don't think she is an addict, probably just recreational use.

So how do I get my sister to change? How do we stop this emotional blackmailing? My mum won't cut her off, and I don't want to do that either. I want her to get help and change but we can't force her to.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any help.
Hi HiThere,

Your sister is definitely emotionally blackmailing her. I think your mother needs to accept that first. Cut her money supply, and let her cry wolf all she wants. You can't sacrifice your financial security and mental wellbeing in the hope that someone has a little chance in improving theirs. I know you don't want to cut her off, but your current strategy isn't working so clearly something needs to change, and I think just cutting the money and attention you keep feeding her is best.

Much love <3
 
H

HiThere

Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2017
Messages
9
Hi, thanks for the responses.

The problem is if we cut her off then I fear she will turn to stealing as she did get caught shoplifting many years ago. She has also lost a lot of weight and my mum can't stop worrying about her. She's also claimed she was raped and her previous boyfriend was abusive but she lies so much it's really hard to believe a word she says.

She phoned again last night demanding money but I spoke to her this time and refused to give her any money, I gave her all these alternative options but she had an excuse for every one. Then she started threatening suicide, said she was having a panic attack, tried to make me feel guilty by saying she was raped and will now have to sleep on the street. But eventually she calmed down and slept at a friend's house.

Tomorrow my mum is going to try and talk to some organisations to see if they can help. I think she should be sectioned but we rarely know where she is so not sure how they could get to her.
 
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