Really lost and worse, I'm unemployed

U

Unsolved

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2019
Messages
19
#1
How do I begin? To cut the long story short, I have been diagnosed with OCD in my teens and I am now in my 30s. The OCD is not the bigger problem however although it disrupts my life. Ever since I was 9 I had poor coordination. I could never play sports properly and got told off(read yelled at) by multiple sports teachers for not being able to do what they wanted. I am also very poor at maths. During my teens and years at college I was an incredibly slow learner.

Now the bigger problem is that I cannot find a job. Nobody wants to hire me. Could it be my appearance, the way I talk, or just my age or is it because they are afraid that I could have spent time in jail? Which I never went to by the way. I graduated at 25(?) and haven't got a single job until my current age. This is a way of no return because I suspect that the employers who I sent my resume to are wondering why I didn't get any jobs in my late 20s and are refusing to hire me because I lack experience.

But if I did get a job after 25 it would not have turned out well because my mind is "blur" and it was only 2 years ago that my mind settled down and I can see and analyze things more clearly. The worst part of all this is my psychiatrist who is giving me meds for my OCD refuses to diagnose me with any clumsiness syndrome or anything even near to itwhen I told him I am unable to drive properly because of my lack of coordination! :curseyou:

He instead blamed my poor maths skills with the reason that my OCD caused me to focus on things happening outside the class instead of concentrating bla bla bla. He isn't me in the first place and doesn't know what I went through. Trust me, the reason I have poor maths skills is because of my lack of coordination while studying. If he doesn't want to confront or even acknowledge the problem then how is anyone going to help me? So he is only solving the OCD problem but not my clumsiness and lack-of-coordination problem.

And yes, driving is one of my biggest problems. At times when I should have been the one to take over from my father and drive while on long journeys I didn't. That's because I am very poor at driving. My relatives are suspicious and are curious as to why I can't drive. They just intentionally try to avoid talking about driving in front of me. They are also curious as to why I haven't gotten employed after such a long time. The reasons are :
1)My OCD does make me afraid of crowds like the TV character Monk and I can't look someone in the eye when talking. Therefore I can't do a job which requires talking to people on a daily basis. Although this isn't really one of the bigger problems.
2)Almost all of the fields require mathematics . E.g If someone works in Sales, they need to count etc If someone works as a retail assistant they need to know how to be a cashier etc. But I am very poor at maths. So being a front office assistant in a motel is totally out.
3)I still have some of my "bluriness" that may prove to be my undoing if I do get a job. I may forget to turn the lights off or neglect something important which may lead to a fire.
4)I can't do cooking jobs as my "bluriness" might cause a fire or I could burn my own hand because I overlooked something important.

The years are passing by and I want to repay my parents who have supported me all these years with their retirement money. I also wish for my relatives to look more positively at my parents.And that can only be achieved when I get a high paying job. You would not know I have all these problems if you shook my hand and spoke to me in person(I do not have the "looking someone in the eye" problem all the time.). And that's why it really hurts inside.
Is there really no way out of all this?
 
Last edited:
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,474
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
#2
Welcome

Hi unsolved, :welcome: to the Forum. I have not succeeded at jobs myself and now that I'm in my sixties, I don't expect to ever manage it. I was suppose to get work on the internet through the government agency Vocational Rehabilitation. But now I'm having medical issues.

Perhaps you could find work on the internet ?? There are a lot of scams but if you find a bonafide internet job, then you don't have to deal with money or face to face contact.
 
W

Wildfire

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2018
Messages
81
#4
Hey there. All isn't lost. The best thing is that you want to work and you want to pay back your parents, which in themselves are noble and good reasons to want to work and any employer would be grateful for someone who wants to work as opposed to some of the self-entitled kids coming in to the market today who just want to have without the work and take from everyone.

As for your relatives who are not your parents, forget them. I know it's hard, but I'm sure your parents would love for you to get a great job and look after them, but I reckon your happiness would be far better present. I was not a high achiever at school, I didn't try, didn't work hard and just took everything for granted. I had a good few wake up calls before I had to start. Now, I still don't earn well, I fritter my cash on silly things, but I am happier than before.

There are a lot of jobs you don't need maths for. People have spreadsheets to do that stuff. Some people make great trainers, they can look someone in the eye and make them feel comfortable. Others make great back office people, you can depend on them to get the work done. They may not be fast, but they'll do it well and completely. If you are worried about blurriness, in roles you make a check list of things you have to do.

There are ways of writing good resumes. Have you every had any advice. Also interview coaching is good. If they want to know why you haven't had a role, it's up to you to convince them not to look at your past, but at what you can bring.

Life experience, dependability, a positive work ethic. You had issues in your 20's, you dealt with them and you didn't want to burden an employer who trusted you or let them down. So you went to the market when you felt it was right for you to be able to give 100% to an employer.
 
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