• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

really lonely cant have friends

little rose

little rose

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
95
sitting here nearly crying feeling like crying because i cant still have the simplest of things a friend who really listens.. i only have my sister annd she is also mentally ill.. i dont have any friends to see.. or even the next best thing have any friends to just talk to on the phone for example.. like i used to have a guy friend who listened to me and was there for me.. then he abandoned me because of his issues.. he was a little emotionally abusive i think.. although dont think he meant to be.. just feeling a little jealous at the moment of people who so easily get friends.. i dont really have anybody to turn to apart from my sister still.. the simplest of things seem impossible for me.. being the way that i am mentally ill traumatised.. dealing with dissociation depersonalisation trauma issues every day.. i have little parts of me thaat just want friend to see or to talk to.. not just someone wh says they are a friend but someone who acts ''like a true friend''.. feling rather abandoned right now anyway by my father and my friend.. and i have no idea how i going to get friends.. even online ones.. i tried a while ago to go online on friendship sites and nobody is replyin to me.. i fel very insecure and sometimes feel like its even impossible to have friends that listen when im going through a hard time or getting people i connect to.. the friend who abandoned me i thought i connected to it isnt fair that i feel i hardly have anyone
 
S

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
4,162
Location
The couch
Maybe you can try being a friend to your little parts by letting them play,color,read books to them,etc?
 
little rose

little rose

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
95
yes i have been tryin that but i am extremely lonely regardless.. i need friends in the outside world and it isnt possible for me currently to go and do that.. just been crying about things.. i just want to be normal person who has fun goes out in society and has a friend to see.. or even just someoen who i can speak to on the telephone and that i know is a real friend.. even if i cant meet them.. feeling pretty isolated have been isolated so long and.. i dontseem to have the skills still to do these normal things in the world.. lke i dont know how to do life.. and thse simple things that i feel i am without.. really make me sad. everybody wants friends dont tehy that they can turn to .. yeah my sister is my friend.. but i just need someone else.. i dont know why people treat me like rubbish.. and half the time i just feel like i dont even deserve friends.. cos they go wrong even when i try abuse off two previous friendships who i dont think are bad people.. but i want this last friend back.. i know its there mental health issues affecting things.. really is so unfair :'(
 
Under_The_Moon

Under_The_Moon

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 12, 2018
Messages
134
Location
Canada
Hi little rose. I can understand where you are coming from. For me I've lost a lot of trust in people. I've been pushing away my friends lately, but it's because I don't see them as true friends.. their world's revolve around themselves, money and their material possessions. I can talk to any of them about sports or stuff, but that's where the invisible line is drawn.

Anyway, don't feel like it's you or something you are doing wrong. True friends are not easy to find. But don't give up looking.
 
S

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
4,162
Location
The couch
i have no idea how i going to get friends.. even online ones.. i tried a while ago to go online on friendship sites and nobody is replyin to me
Just curious how you are going about trying to develop online friendships.It might be in the way you are approaching it that's not getting any replies.

Could you be coming off as too needy or desperate?
Disclosing your issues and problems right off the bat?
Are you being too negative?

Not saying that you are doing any of those,just saying those types of things tend to turn people off.While it's good to disclose and vent in a place like this,unless it's a friendship site for those with mental issues it prob.won't go over too well.

Also,what do you consider is someone that "acts like a true friend?".What are your expectations within a friendship?And what do you give of yourself in a friendship,is the give and take equal both ways?
 
little rose

little rose

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
95
no i actually sent people on the friendship sites that i joined really nice messages, they were not clingy or desperate.. i also dont tell people who i hardly know or disclose too much information.. im also not a negative person just a person who is dealign wtih way more than anybody should ahve to and just wants friends
i have had two friends in the past be strange with me one waws abusive and the other pushed me away..
i try to be caring whenever i make a friend even if it is online, on the telephone, even if it is distance
so no im not sure it is me
i know full well that it is give and take.
im not a negative person just a person feeling lonely and havin a very hard time ..
 
little rose

little rose

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
95
i dont disclose my issues right off the bat.
 
S

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
4,162
Location
The couch
Ok,good,I'm glad you don't do any of those things.I just wanted to ask to make sure first,in no way was I saying you do any of them though.

So it doesn't sound like it's anything about you,it's just the other people.Just keep trying,I'm sure you will make friends
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
40,809
Location
The Prancing Pony
I think the easiest way to make friends, is when you share an activity with someone. It is just bonding. So if you work in the same office, eventually you become friends. Or if you volunteer with someone, you can form a friendship. Even a support group it is possible.

It is not so easy just to make an online friend since it is harder to bond.

I also feel you need to be in the right place mentallly and emotionally. if you are closed off, you will not make friends no matter what. You need to be receptable to a new relationship.

So yeah a good way to meet people would be through job or volunteering or support group.
 
little rose

little rose

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
95
yes but upfortunately i cant and havent been able to do things in the real world for a very very long time due to trauma issues. and also i still need friends i am suffereing and need friends just like everyone else.. wish i had a friend to see but i cant go out and make them one i dont have a job two i can hardly still walk up the road although tryin to walk outsude.. so isolated it makes me cry.. and i need friends to see aswell even more so that i am suffering.. i am a kind person and i dont deserve this loneliness .. :(
 
S

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
4,162
Location
The couch
I think the easiest way to make friends, is when you share an activity with someone. It is just bonding. So if you work in the same office, eventually you become friends. Or if you volunteer with someone, you can form a friendship. Even a support group it is possible.

It is not so easy just to make an online friend since it is harder to bond.

I also feel you need to be in the right place mentallly and emotionally. if you are closed off, you will not make friends no matter what. You need to be receptable to a new relationship.

So yeah a good way to meet people would be through job or volunteering or support group.

Good post,and I agree.

Another good way to make friends is to join groups that you have interests in.Like I'm thinking about joining a book club at my local library.Or taking an art class,even 12 step meetings are good places to make friends.It's easier when you already have common interests.
 
little rose

little rose

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
95
for normal people they could go out and do those things out in the real world.. but at the moment my mental illness and trauma issues make that extremely hard as i can only walk outside like i said for five minutes and have little to no confidence.. dont feel its fair im missing out on friends to see because of my issues.. even find it upsetting i have made friends to be treated like rubbish in the past when i have put my whole heart into the friendship.. even if it was distance :(
 
little rose

little rose

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
95
yes but this is why i get upset and cry.. i cant do these things that ''normal people can it isnt easy.. findit hard even walking up the road.. let alone joinin a group woth my dissociation depersonalisation and derealisaion issues
 
S

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
4,162
Location
The couch
Oh,ok.I'm sorry,I didn't realize this was just a venting thread,I thought you were wanting advice and suggestions on how to make friends.
 
little rose

little rose

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
95
i was wanting advice yes..
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
Danniegirl1990 I’m really f-img lonely People 1
G I'm really worried about my mom's health. People 7
R Really struggling being in the same house as my parents in recent times, don't know what to do or how to be People 1
F Blocked numbers are they really blocked? People 2
ReverieAnxiety Really upset People 4
Confusedandanxious He really annoys me sometimes People 2
S Could really use advice and help People 1
Y What should you do if you really think you're unlikable? People 7
S I'm really worried about my mom People 4
Owl93 Really need some help to understand People 22
H Really need some help please! People 4
N I'm 30 am I too old to be called Billy when my really name is William? People 4
I im really confused People 1
I feeling really hurt People 2
F Is one really the loneliest number? People 2
W Is that really love? People 8
F Is he really a friend? People 5
cassandra36 I feel really strange about this. People 1
P feel really down People 1
katya Boyfriend really unsupportive. People 8
B people really confuse me sometimes *mini rant* People 4
Jaminacaranda Just need advice really People 10
E Sometimes my mum really does annoy me People 4
B *Trigger* Really not sure what to do about a parent *long post* People 4
U Really need advice HELP People 3
A I can't stand that the girl I really like is engaged. I have extreme hatred for her fiance? People 4
S I'm extremely confused over separation from my boyfriend, and I would really appreciate any insight! People 16
M How do I get over my ex boyfriend who really hurt me? People 5
E I have BPD, really worried about effect on my little sister, where can I get her help? People 2
SomersetScorpio Really Upset... People 6
K really struggling! People 9
krista is he really a good friend? People 3
Girlrobin am feeing really bad People 4
E When is enough really enough? People 4
Y I was really chuffed People 2
R I don't really know how to describe this, but please give me any advice if you can People 2
ABsea Could I really be THAT naive?! People 11
L Is she really a friend? People 5
X Extremely lonely People 1
Eleison feeling lonely, is anyone around? People 9
W Feeling so lonely today People 1
T bipolar mother-in-law... I feel so lonely, please help People 13
Zardos All The Lonely People.... People 3
C Lonely People 4
B Feeling lost and lonely People 2
I Anyone lonely wanting to be my friend in the Suffolk area? People 1
L Feeling Lonely People 3
M I am a lonely person People 1
L Lonely in college People 2
T Friends vs Acquaintances - Lonely? People 1

Similar threads

Top