Hi Witts, I'm struggling to hold it together until an important care planning meeting on 7th. I'm desperately trying to stay safe, but the unwell part of me desperately wants and needs to hurt . If I do something to myself, the pressure will be released just like that. PING. Also awaiting receipt of my psychiatric notes, which go back to 2007. Will be loads of them. Want to see things from their perspective as well as mine. The consultant said we can go through anything I need to. I'm just really nervous now, as I should have them soon. To top it all, got a letter from the DVLA this morning saying the police have been in touch with them as I recently OD'd on paras then drove when not feeling too good. DVLA are questioning my fitness to drive and now I risk losing my licence. Got to fill in questionnaire and they will investigate and may want me to see someone for assessment. I can't lose my car. It's my form of escape! Will add even more pressure if I do. I have a free bus pass, but it's my car that I need, rightly or wrongly, when I'm most unwell. I don't think I'm a risk to others. I know I'm heading for trouble now, poorliness-wise. I'm feeling that slippery slope. I never know at what point to ask for help. Could have phoned yesterday, but try and deal with it on my own, and then before I know it, I don't want help any more and I'm past the point of caring. xxxx
THIS IS THE TIME TO ASK FOR HELP! Right now......its Saturday afternoon, call crisis......insist if you need to, that you want a visit, then take a deep breath and talk it all through, being completely honest about your plans to self harm....
I agree with what witts has to ay, call the crisis team or NHS direct - please don;t harm yourself - I know it gives a sense of relief but this is short lived and there are better ways of coping. What about putting together a self soothe box, put all the things that make you happy, calmer - give you a sense of reality in it and at desperate times you can use the box to soothe yourself. It takes a lot of doing, but it is worth it in the end.
i know u too well and know the spiral u mean, Please seek help as u know u dont want to go there and how hard it was to break the spiral hunni, as for ur car i can relate have done same as u, but luckily police never caught me doing it so license is safe, but can relate to how u need it i would be screwed with out mine. just be honest on the form, say one off and big mistake, totally regret it etc, will never happen again etc. did u drive car then take them or drive afterwards? if u didnt drie aft shouldnt be a prob.
ring your crisis line hunni, forget what u call it. text me anytime hun