Really confused...There are people inside my head

C

Charliedragonfly

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
34
Location
England
I'm quite confused. I've been "hearing voices" for about three months now. First it was only one person called Jodi who was camping out in my head. She has grown a bit younger over the months and is now a little child. Then there's Daniel, he's pretty angry most of the time and protective of Jessy. He keeps my mental health on the downward spiral- if I talk to him he likes to remind

It's Daniel. I like to remind her of how she doesn't want to get better and she doesn't deserve to get better. I am the only person she can trust.

Things like the above are happening more and more. I don't even know if that was a conscious decision to let him speak or not haha.

But the other night I was staring in the mirror and talking to him, or rather he was talking to me, and then he completely took over my features and I didn't recognise whoever was in the reflection in the mirror until the next morning. He went around critisising the mess that is my room- severe depression stops me from tidying it, yay!

Jodi takes me over sometimes but she gets scared so easily that it becomes a struggle to take myself back, and I want to because it's so uncomfortable.

Then there's Sally who sounds quite distant in my mind. She mainly agrees with Daniel and gets on well with him.

There's someone else called Emily but she's dormant and not fully formed at the moment, and doesn't communicate with me.

~

So these people, I can feel them in my mind and I know that they are there. They don't communicate and talk with me unless I talk to them first or think about them at all.

What concerns me is that I'm worried I will be taken over by these people- they stop me from telling anyone I know about them; I've tried 3 times in a row now and been forced to delete the messages. They're getting more well formed.

~

I don't have auditory hallucinations, they just speak to me inside my head but it can get so loud that it's all I can focus on sometimes... Although I still feel like I have conscious control over them.


If anyone understands any of this, please tell me I'm not alone haha. I'm wondering if it is brought on by my depression perhaps. What's wrong with me...??!
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
1,039
Location
Sheffiield
You're not alone and you 're not crazy either, more people than you might think hear voices and manage to live a good life.

Being able to take control of you is a little concerning but nothing mine hasn't done to me in the past, as you know the face is the easiest for them to mess with.

If you haven't already get some medication, that'll reduce their control over you and lower the volume of the voices, your GP will be able to refer you to a specialist if they can't prescribe them themselves, don't worry about being sectioned as they prefer to treat at home where ever possible as beds on wards are usually at capacity with the most serious cases.

You've done really well so far, stay strong and take care.
 
C

Charliedragonfly

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
34
Location
England
Thank you for replying, sorry I took so long to get back to you. They haven't taken control of me in about a week, which is good, but it's making my eating disorder worse because I so badly want to be in control. Medication would really help, I think, but they don't want me to take it and neither do I. I'm getting help for my ED very soon so maybe I can slip in the fact there's people in my head, somewhere in the conversation. Thank you very much :)

Since I posted this, they took control of me to the extent that Sally ended up criticising my boyfriend to the point where he hurt himself. I feel so bad! It's not my fault! Sorry. I may as well not delete that, I'll just put it in bold because Sally said that aha. I guess they do take control of me quite a bit. I'm so scared she'll take control again because obviously he can't trust me when I'm threatening to ruin him haha. Just a life update because I over-share :)

Thank you for your reply though, it means a lot :)
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
1,039
Location
Sheffiield
If it's having a negative effect on your relationships and life in general I definitely see about getting some anti-psychotics as soon as possible, don't worry about the name anti-psychotics just think of them as Dopamine Reuptake Inhibitors (DRI's) as you're obviously not psychotic.

As I said they'll stop your voices taking control of you or at least stop them controlling everything apart from very small muscle groups, mine can still do my face slightly.

On medication you can still offer them control by getting them to imagine in your mind where they want the body and you can follow their movements perfectly or simply ignore them, I call it the 'sync-up' and have offered mine 30 mins a day of control in exchange for being quiet at certain times of the day but so far he's refused.

If you get any side effects just ask for a different brand, I'm on 10mg of Aripiprazole and 4mg of Risperidone and get very few side effects. Don't let them put you on Olanzapine as it's notorious for weight gain.

I hope you'll be ok, and if things get worse I can recommend a herbal supplement that can reduce Dopamine but I only used it for 43 days until I got anti-psychotics and it was only 80% effective compared to the 95% effectiveness of the proper medication.

Take care!
 
C

Charliedragonfly

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
34
Location
England
If it's having a negative effect on your relationships and life in general I definitely see about getting some anti-psychotics as soon as possible, don't worry about the name anti-psychotics just think of them as Dopamine Reuptake Inhibitors (DRI's) as you're obviously not psychotic.

As I said they'll stop your voices taking control of you or at least stop them controlling everything apart from very small muscle groups, mine can still do my face slightly.

On medication you can still offer them control by getting them to imagine in your mind where they want the body and you can follow their movements perfectly or simply ignore them, I call it the 'sync-up' and have offered mine 30 mins a day of control in exchange for being quiet at certain times of the day but so far he's refused.

If you get any side effects just ask for a different brand, I'm on 10mg of Aripiprazole and 4mg of Risperidone and get very few side effects. Don't let them put you on Olanzapine as it's notorious for weight gain.

I hope you'll be ok, and if things get worse I can recommend a herbal supplement that can reduce Dopamine but I only used it for 43 days until I got anti-psychotics and it was only 80% effective compared to the 95% effectiveness of the proper medication.

Take care!
Thank you so much! This is very informative. :thanks:
 
Top