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Really bummed out

GaryC123

GaryC123

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2016
Messages
152
I entered a poetry contest that one of our local libraries had. I submitted my entry back in March and now they're supposed to announce the winners this Friday on a Zoom meeting. However, it appears that someone replied to the official library email announcing the Friday night Zoom ceremony with the names of the three winners. My name wasn't among them so I'm sort of bummed right now.

It doesn't really matter that much that the person accidentally gave away the names of the winners. I'd be just as bummed Friday as I am now. It doesn't make any difference when I hear about it. My heart would still be on the floor.

I was pretty excited about my entry and thought I might have a chance to place somewhere in the contest. I've never placed in a poetry contest before, although I've never entered but a couple. It's difficult to shake the feeling of disappointment. I feel crushed. Poetry is maybe the only creative thing I'm halfway OK at. I don't really have any other talents to speak of. And I've always had this weird driving desire to amount to something in life, to make a name for myself in something, anything (as long as it's something good).

But I'm 53 and haven't achieved anything noteworthy in my life. I feel like the biggest loser. I have no children. Heck, I've never even had a relationship with a female--even though I've always been a sucker for pretty women. But I've always been very shy and withdrawn. I was the weird kid with the weird nervous habits in school growing up, never having many friends. I've had acne all my life, picked my nose and skin. I have sleep apnea. And when I was 25 years old I was diagnosed with mental illness.

But I guess I'm enjoying my life lately since I've been on disability. I worked for 30 years going through absolute hell in the work world, going from job to job. Most of my employers were temp agencies.

Now I sort of consider myself early retired. Hell is over...I hope. But I've always wanted to amount to something. Life has been nothing but broken dreams. I used to believe in rags to riches stories. I used to believe that the poor poster children of recessive genetics would turn around and win in the end or something. I used to believe the ugly duckling would turn into a swan, the frog into a prince or that something good would come out of all the muck. But muck is muck, you can't make a diamond out of a lump of poop and fairy tales are lies just to keep the losing suckers going in life.

But I still cling to hope.

Just bummed right now.
 
P

Princess Zelda

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
728
Location
Pluto
I kind of know what you mean because I feel the same way when it comes to drawing. I feel like it's the only thing I can sort of do right in life, and when it comes to learning other stuff I just do a terrible job at it.

One thing that helped me was when I tried to stop comparing myself to others, and instead see them as people I can be inspired from. So I try to turn the negative emotions into inspiration. It's not easy though since I always go back to feeling bad, but at least it gives me a little positive way of thinking.

I like to believe that there's always a chance for life to improve.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
3,204
Location
Nashua NH
I entered a poetry contest that one of our local libraries had. I submitted my entry back in March and now they're supposed to announce the winners this Friday on a Zoom meeting. However, it appears that someone replied to the official library email announcing the Friday night Zoom ceremony with the names of the three winners. My name wasn't among them so I'm sort of bummed right now.

It doesn't really matter that much that the person accidentally gave away the names of the winners. I'd be just as bummed Friday as I am now. It doesn't make any difference when I hear about it. My heart would still be on the floor.

I was pretty excited about my entry and thought I might have a chance to place somewhere in the contest. I've never placed in a poetry contest before, although I've never entered but a couple. It's difficult to shake the feeling of disappointment. I feel crushed. Poetry is maybe the only creative thing I'm halfway OK at. I don't really have any other talents to speak of. And I've always had this weird driving desire to amount to something in life, to make a name for myself in something, anything (as long as it's something good).

But I'm 53 and haven't achieved anything noteworthy in my life. I feel like the biggest loser. I have no children. Heck, I've never even had a relationship with a female--even though I've always been a sucker for pretty women. But I've always been very shy and withdrawn. I was the weird kid with the weird nervous habits in school growing up, never having many friends. I've had acne all my life, picked my nose and skin. I have sleep apnea. And when I was 25 years old I was diagnosed with mental illness.

But I guess I'm enjoying my life lately since I've been on disability. I worked for 30 years going through absolute hell in the work world, going from job to job. Most of my employers were temp agencies.

Now I sort of consider myself early retired. Hell is over...I hope. But I've always wanted to amount to something. Life has been nothing but broken dreams. I used to believe in rags to riches stories. I used to believe that the poor poster children of recessive genetics would turn around and win in the end or something. I used to believe the ugly duckling would turn into a swan, the frog into a prince or that something good would come out of all the muck. But muck is muck, you can't make a diamond out of a lump of poop and fairy tales are lies just to keep the losing suckers going in life.

But I still cling to hope.

Just bummed right now.
What a bummer that you didn’t place in the library poetry competition. You never know what the judges were looking for in a poem....art can be very subjective. Are you proud of the poem? Did you enjoy writing it? That is really all that matters. If you like the poem chances are others would too, even if it is not a prize winner from this particular contest. What about entering it in to other contests or reading it aloud at a poetry reading or slam in your area?
 
C

Constantine

Member
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
21
Location
United States.
Post your poem here. I’d love to read it. Start a poetry thread, it could be fun. I love poetry and think, just reading your post, that your poetry would be interesting and helpful. I hope to be reading soon!!!
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
531
I entered a poetry contest that one of our local libraries had. I submitted my entry back in March and now they're supposed to announce the winners this Friday on a Zoom meeting. However, it appears that someone replied to the official library email announcing the Friday night Zoom ceremony with the names of the three winners. My name wasn't among them so I'm sort of bummed right now.

It doesn't really matter that much that the person accidentally gave away the names of the winners. I'd be just as bummed Friday as I am now. It doesn't make any difference when I hear about it. My heart would still be on the floor.

I was pretty excited about my entry and thought I might have a chance to place somewhere in the contest. I've never placed in a poetry contest before, although I've never entered but a couple. It's difficult to shake the feeling of disappointment. I feel crushed. Poetry is maybe the only creative thing I'm halfway OK at. I don't really have any other talents to speak of. And I've always had this weird driving desire to amount to something in life, to make a name for myself in something, anything (as long as it's something good).

But I'm 53 and haven't achieved anything noteworthy in my life. I feel like the biggest loser. I have no children. Heck, I've never even had a relationship with a female--even though I've always been a sucker for pretty women. But I've always been very shy and withdrawn. I was the weird kid with the weird nervous habits in school growing up, never having many friends. I've had acne all my life, picked my nose and skin. I have sleep apnea. And when I was 25 years old I was diagnosed with mental illness.

But I guess I'm enjoying my life lately since I've been on disability. I worked for 30 years going through absolute hell in the work world, going from job to job. Most of my employers were temp agencies.

Now I sort of consider myself early retired. Hell is over...I hope. But I've always wanted to amount to something. Life has been nothing but broken dreams. I used to believe in rags to riches stories. I used to believe that the poor poster children of recessive genetics would turn around and win in the end or something. I used to believe the ugly duckling would turn into a swan, the frog into a prince or that something good would come out of all the muck. But muck is muck, you can't make a diamond out of a lump of poop and fairy tales are lies just to keep the losing suckers going in life.

But I still cling to hope.

Just bummed right now.
im sorry you missed out on the poetry competition......if it makes you feel any better i relate to the fact that you never had a girlfriend, neither have i and also im still a virgin....thats just the hand i was dealt with....also i relate to the fact that you have/had bad acne.....i had that too its a curse....and social anxiety i still deal with....anyway they say hard times give rise to the best poetry
 
GaryC123

GaryC123

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2016
Messages
152
Post your poem here. I’d love to read it. Start a poetry thread, it could be fun. I love poetry and think, just reading your post, that your poetry would be interesting and helpful. I hope to be reading soon!!!

To Be Forgotten

So many people and things forgotten
People I knew and things I did quite often
People and things I may never see or experience again
Some I enjoyed and some I didn’t
So many that I can’t recall
Or even begin
To sufficiently recollect them all

But I do recollect some
And cherish them…each and every one

Memories don’t last forever
They eventually fade
Into an indiscernible haze
Tucked away
In some dusty and remote corner
Of gray matter
Slowly decaying within the brain

Or perhaps it would be a bit more coherent
To simply call it the spirit
Or soul
Or psyche
Or whatever it might be
That makes us who we are
And not conscious-less automatons

And I do wonder what happens
When all the memories are gone
For good and forever
Will any part of us carry on?
Somewhere beyond
The realm of the material

And if not
Then will I too eventually be
Ultimately
No more than someone that someone forgot?
 
C

Constantine

Member
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
21
Location
United States.
Read it once and love it! You’ve got the discipline down for sure. I’m going to read it again and again and I’ll have more to say. I’m not a critic by any stretch but I do Love poetry! I’m so happy you posted!!!
 
GaryC123

GaryC123

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2016
Messages
152
Thank you, Constantine. I attended the Zoom meeting this evening and just now got off. It was a lot of fun hearing the poems. There were a lot of really great poems submitted. I see now why I didn't place. But it was fun, regardless. :)
 
C

Constantine

Member
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
21
Location
United States.
I think you are both brave and courageous to have submitted in the first place. I’m far too afraid of rejection to even consider it. Continue to write and submit and stay courageous! The hard work and resiliency will eventually reap rewards!!
 
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