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Real or imaginary?

FallingLeaves

FallingLeaves

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2021
Messages
91
Location
England, UK
This evening I met with a new therapist for the first time.

She was asking for a timeline of traumas in my life and the first one I started out with (aged 5-6 years old) I said "I believe this happened...." - she questioned why I phrased it that way and my answer was: sometimes I worry whether I am truly remembering something or if it is information I've filled in, in absence of memory.

This one memory in particular is very traumatic to me but very hazy to recall, probably in part because I was so small - I can only see sort of 'snapshots' of things happening, rather than a consistent flow like a film, which is how I recall other memories.

I said "this is probably very common" and she corrected me by saying "I've been doing this for 30 years and I've never heard of someone questioning their memory of a traumatic event, you know what you know".

This shook me a bit. Is she calling me a liar? Should I feel ashamed that I can't remember everything correctly? It seems like a quick google shows it is common for memory to fracture after trauma, so how has she never heard of this?
 
C

Comorbidity

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
119
Location
London
Resists the temptation to post the Big Lebowski 'amateurs' clip in response to your post, but it would be the perfect reply to the question at the end of your post
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
3,018
Trauma is a strange thing it affects aa all differently, do not feel ashamed xx
 
C

Comorbidity

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
119
Location
London
You shouldn't feel ashamed at all, everyone's experience of mental health issues is unique to them, it isn't uncommon for people in mental health services to dismiss things they've never encountered before, people in mental health services fall into the status quo and are as guilty of stereotyping and dismissing what they have encountered before because it doesn't fit in with their status quo as anyone else.

I do think they need to review how they work, and put more emphasis on practicing what they preach, they upset me all the time and my family hate me going to see them. Working on keeping an open mind rather than stereotyping or trying to make everything fit into the boxes of their modules and 'Everyone's mental health experience is different' is one of their mantras, they need to start practicing it, and the therapist you saw, needs a refresher course in 'Mindfulness' one of their favourite buzz words.

On a point of information there are cases I've heard of people who suffered trauma in childhood who have a fractious memory of it and some who don't remember it at all because their mind buries it to stop it causing them pain and it's been brought out through hypnosis in some cases, maybe your recollection is fractious as your head tried to bury it to stop it paining you and only half buried it, everyone's experience absolutely is different
 
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