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ready to quit.

nonotme

nonotme

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not sure how much more I can take right now. three days on no sleep, my mind racing and my paranoia out of control.

not sure whats going on and what I can do, I just know I'm near the edge.


Me.
 
formerlymadjon

formerlymadjon

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please dont give up iv only just met you, besides youv not heard about how crazy i am its well worth a laugh so i hear
 
nonotme

nonotme

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please dont give up iv only just met you, besides youv not heard about how crazy i am its well worth a laugh so i hear

not as crazy as me Jon (but do tell) I'm losing it, big style. taken myself of my medication and I think it showing now, really obscure thinking. I am planing on killing someone, I have these thoughts, never acted on them but they are there, all the time.. I want to kill someone, myself, anyone.
 
formerlymadjon

formerlymadjon

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im not planning to kill someone, not that id admit it if i was, i feel like im going to explode i want to do some crazy stuff, strip naked and run around in the streets or something.
the idea of SHing and leaving evidence in the snow keeps popping up, i also fancy the idea of offending random strangers so they harm me, thats on plan i have, i self harmed a few days ago which didnt really do the trick.

im thinking that if i can get a nice sexy girl to harm me, hopefully that would awaken the senses and make me actually care about something other than my son.

you see i have a son so im trying my best to not act on these urges incase i get locked up and i am un able to see him.

Also i have been seeing some freaky things, like blood running down my eyeballs and down the walls in my house.
Iv also heard noises and music coming from inside my head.

I wake up with someone shouting almost every morning but theres no one there.

any how im rambling the point is im a nutjob, and i dont want to hear that youv hurt yourself, i guess on some level i do care.

i certainly dont care about me.

please dont kill anyone you dont want to be locked in a box for the rest of your life, theres so little fredom in the outside worlyd you dont want what little you have taken away.
 
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nonotme

nonotme

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please dont kill anyone you dont want to be locked in a box for the rest of your life, theres so little fredom in the outside worlyd you dont want what little you have taken away.
i won't today. I just need to let out that scream you talk about. I am angry and sad, and close to the end. I need to sleep as my head is racing away.

Jon sounds like your thoughts are in the same ball park as mind, we should chat more?
 
formerlymadjon

formerlymadjon

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thats good, whoever your planning to kill you probly have your reasons, id just hate to think you would get locked up for it. Its kinda in our nature to kill its how the population was kept in check originally.

But you may want to think of some other way to release the pent up well whatever the hell it is, i dont have a clue iv got bucket loads of it it usually comes out as anger or rage or something along those lines.

with me it often involves hurting things or myself.

iv had people sugest i get a punch bag but it dosent work it dosent involve breaking anything or myself.

any way im meant to be talking you out of doing something that could land you in trouble not telling you what works for me.

erm wel dont do anything like that and get some rest for now, talk to you soon
 
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nonotme

nonotme

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erm wel dont do anything like that and get some rest for now, talk to you soon

I have these feeling of fear like they are coming for me and there is no way out other than to end things. My thoughts are aim at anyone and I feel that I am going to attack, I have lived with these feelings for close on 35 years, o I don't do it, I just feel like I am going to. they take over. need Valium or something just to shut my system down for 24 hrs.
 
nonotme

nonotme

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. need Valium or something just to shut my system down for 24 hrs.
morning folks, got some sleep last night I was so worn out my the time i fell asleep. woke up about 6 ish and already so agitated my hands and legs feel full of worms horrid feeling.


not looking forward to the day.


Me.
 
nonotme

nonotme

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morning folks,
Me.

is it me or is this world a little strange ? not sure if I fit in anywhere any more. family :( friends :( all I want is to be locked away fromt he world in my own room, safe warm no outside world. its safe here, no where else feels safe.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I feel the same but my dad and his wife are helpful, I got a rl friend i see time to time and my bf i want toto escape but too scared. Life is hard :hug1:
 
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nonotme

nonotme

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the thoughts of suicide just won't stop.
 
nonotme

nonotme

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the thoughts of suicide just won't stop.

morning everyone.

how you all doing?


I got some sleep last night and feel a bit better for once, not sure what the day holds, its still early.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I feel like dying too, barely slept. Got to my SU at half 8 to find out her and her bf arguing, hes also a SU and informed me he took od last night. Unsure if last support reported it? He told me another SY gave him the pills so had to report him and other SU. Theyre arguing but I gotta keep them safe :(
 
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