Ready to kill myself

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blipsycat

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#1
I can't take the pain of existence anymore. EVERY single person I have EVER cared about has abandoned me. I will NEVER find any new friends. My ONLY dream in life is dead. I have literally nothing to live for.
 
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calypso

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#2
Hold on honey and don't act suddenly on these feelings. Try reading
Suicidal Crisis – Mental Health Forum and see if anything helps you. There is no hurry if this is how you feel, so you can get through tonight and talk again tomorrow.

Can you talk more about why you feel this way?
 
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blipsycat

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#3
Hold on honey and don't act suddenly on these feelings. Try reading
Suicidal Crisis – Mental Health Forum and see if anything helps you. There is no hurry if this is how you feel, so you can get through tonight and talk again tomorrow.

Can you talk more about why you feel this way?
I feel this way because literally EVERYONE I have ever cared about has abandoned me. And any person I ever care about in the future will also abandon me. I'll be alone forever. And my ONLY dream in life will never come true. So I have nothing to live for. All I feel is endless pain 24/7. Death is the only way to end the pain.
 
calypso

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#4
When we have been abandoned its common to think we always will be. But that isn't necessarily true at all. I do get the pain. I am diagnosed with bipolar and know that dark place where everything seems beyond pain. All I am asking is that you make it through tonight and see how things are in the morning.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to go to bed and let sleep try to help you. Even if you can't sleep, then resting your body will help. I know, I know your mind is racing round ten to the dozen with the anguish you are in. I really understand that.

Who abandoned you? Have you any friends at all who can help you? I have sent you the emergency message - try reading through it and see if there is anything that can help you. The Samaritans are there to listen if you need a human voice to talk to.
 
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blipsycat

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#5
When we have been abandoned its common to think we always will be. But that isn't necessarily true at all. I do get the pain. I am diagnosed with bipolar and know that dark place where everything seems beyond pain. All I am asking is that you make it through tonight and see how things are in the morning.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to go to bed and let sleep try to help you. Even if you can't sleep, then resting your body will help. I know, I know your mind is racing round ten to the dozen with the anguish you are in. I really understand that.

Who abandoned you? Have you any friends at all who can help you? I have sent you the emergency message - try reading through it and see if there is anything that can help you. The Samaritans are there to listen if you need a human voice to talk to.
I have no friends. And the answer as to abandoned me is everyone. My parents abandoned me emotionally years ago, everyone I ever considered a friend abandoned me, and anyone who ever promised to help me fulfill my dream abandoned me. I've felt this way for over a decade. No amount of sleep will solve the problem.
 
calypso

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#6
What was your dream? That sense of being trapped in a never ending depression is horrible and feeling hopeless. But you don't need to act tonight. If this is how you feel then there is no rush. Its a final decision and that can be postponed. Your parents seem to be a mega problem. What do you mean they emotionally abandoned you years ago?

Who has left you in this state? I urge you to read the link I gave you and just see if anything in there can help you. You are not alone, we are here to listen to you. talk more about your feelings.
 
calypso

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#7
I'm afraid I have taken my pills so have to go to bed now. But you are NOT aloneand we are here to listen to you. Keep writing. Hopefully someone will be along soon to talk with you. Hold on honey please even if its by your fingernails.
 
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blipsycat

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#9
What was your dream? That sense of being trapped in a never ending depression is horrible and feeling hopeless. But you don't need to act tonight. If this is how you feel then there is no rush. Its a final decision and that can be postponed. Your parents seem to be a mega problem. What do you mean they emotionally abandoned you years ago?

Who has left you in this state? I urge you to read the link I gave you and just see if anything in there can help you. You are not alone, we are here to listen to you. talk more about your feelings.
My dream was to have a co-writer for a novel. :( Many people have said they'd help, only to abandon me very early on. :( It's hopeless.

I was a disappointment to my parents all my life, in various ways, some of which I still have to hide for my own safety (I'm bisexual, and my parents are EXTREMELY anti-gay). But even ignoring the bigoted reasons they hate me, I'm still a worthless failure.
 
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blipsycat

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#13
Realistic drama novel about a either a woman in prison or a teenager in a psych ward
 
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goodgollymiss

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#14
Could writing a poetry book help. Maybe even trying to write poetry in an interesting language. I'm sorry that I'm a bit more simple than calypso so my help may not be as helpful
 
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blipsycat

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#15
Could writing a poetry book help. Maybe even trying to write poetry in an interesting language. I'm sorry that I'm a bit more simple than calypso so my help may not be as helpful
I have no interest in poetry. And even if I did I'd still need a co-writer to do it.
 
Zardos

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#16
Ouch !... Hard to research.. Unless you have spent time in prison or on a psych ward..... I suppose you could always interview the people on here about what life is like on a psych ward.. You mite even find one who's been to prison, and go from there.
 
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blipsycat

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#17
Ouch !... Hard to research.. Unless you have spent time in prison or on a psych ward..... I suppose you could always interview the people on here about what life is like on a psych ward.. You mite even find one who's been to prison, and go from there.
I've spent 10 FUCKING YEARS searching. Nobody will EVER help me :mad:
 
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goodgollymiss

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#18
Sometimes the psych ward is like summer camp. The library has good books about writing. Sometimes you can make rough notes and find patterns in them to make paragraphs with a certain subject. I would be willing to read your rough copies to help out. It took me a long time at uni to write well. Drove a lot of teachers crazy
 
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blipsycat

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#19
Sometimes the psych ward is like summer camp. The library has good books about writing. Sometimes you can make rough notes and find patterns in them to make paragraphs with a certain subject. I would be willing to read your rough copies to help out. It took me a long time at uni to write well. Drove a lot of teachers crazy
I can't write anything alone.
 
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goodgollymiss

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#20
I'm sorry about that. It must be frustrating. There are some good gay writers out there "amber dawn" and "Kaitlin kiernan". Amber was in the sex trade and is now free and living a great life.
 

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