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Ready to give up!

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trueblue85

Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2017
Messages
21
While having my morning brisk walk to work this morning it dawned on me that my life just sucks, and generally thought would anyone even notice if I weren't here anymore. Been on Citalopram for the last 9 months solid, after taking them sparingly for short periods over the last 10 years. I've been in my new job for the last 5 months and it just doesn't challenge me the only perk being its monday to friday and no weekends. I moved back to my home city 8 years ago and moved in with my Grandparents as had nowhere else to go after being made redundant and splitting with my ex and 8 years later I'm still living with them and not really been in a serious relationship since then. I look around at others in my family my older sister has two kids and owns her own home, my younger brother who's only 20 has a promising career and a child as well, it just seems I'm the black sheep of the family. I remember when I was younger I had so many goals I wanted to achieve and now my life just feels so unfulfilled.
 
Seachad

Seachad

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2018
Messages
516
Location
Central Florida
So, what would you want to do, if you could? What would it take to achieve that?
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
2,823
sometimes its good to be the black sheep at least youre not like everyone else, think of it as a positive
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,872
Location
England
Hi,
Sorry your going thru a difficult time, I've got depression too.
Your doing well working as motivation can be hard.
Try not to compare yourself to others, we all are unique.
Have you ever tried counselling?
Hope you feel better soon.
Here to listen
Take care
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
Sorry you're depressed. I am too. I hope you get better. :hug:
 
L

LiamK

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2018
Messages
1
Iv only joined today and this is the first thing I read and your in exactly the same position as me apart from its been 10 years for me and things seem to be getting harder for me an believe me it's not for the lack of trying, at the moment im barely surviving nevermind existing, at the moment I pray every night before I go to sleep that I never wake up ag ain and when I do wake up im so disappointed I can't put it in to words, iv got many more years of this to go as im only 38 but I really can't take another day of it, at the moment the best thing I think can happen to me is that I pass in my sleep then because im an organ doner my organs can go to help many people who will end up doing and achieveing alot more than me but more importantly they will be happy, but at least then iv done some good with my shitty waste of space exsistance
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
While having my morning brisk walk to work this morning it dawned on me that my life just sucks, and generally thought would anyone even notice if I weren't here anymore. Been on Citalopram for the last 9 months solid, after taking them sparingly for short periods over the last 10 years. I've been in my new job for the last 5 months and it just doesn't challenge me the only perk being its monday to friday and no weekends. I moved back to my home city 8 years ago and moved in with my Grandparents as had nowhere else to go after being made redundant and splitting with my ex and 8 years later I'm still living with them and not really been in a serious relationship since then. I look around at others in my family my older sister has two kids and owns her own home, my younger brother who's only 20 has ua promising career and a child as well, it just seems I'm the black sheep of the family. I remember when I was younger I had so many goals I wanted to achieve and now my life just feels so unfulfilled.
its tough seeing other folk doing well ...i was challenged just by bieng in a job well around peeps actually. so well done for working and when i say this i have some idea of how very hard this must be.

can you maybe retrain for something that you are interested in? maybe sit down and brain storm you interests and achievements.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
Iv only joined today and this is the first thing I read and your in exactly the same position as me apart from its been 10 years for me and things seem to be getting harder for me an believe me it's not for the lack of trying, at the moment im barely surviving nevermind existing, at the moment I pray every night before I go to sleep that I never wake up ag ain and when I do wake up im so disappointed I can't put it in to words, iv got many more years of this to go as im only 38 but I really can't take another day of it, at the moment the best thing I think can happen to me is that I pass in my sleep then because im an organ doner my organs can go to help many people who will end up doing and achieveing alot more than me but more importantly they will be happy, but at least then iv done some good with my shitty waste of space exsistance
hello LiamK
it doesnt matter how long ....you sound very depressed. best start yourself a thread that way other folk can respond to you. :)
 
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trueblue85

Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2017
Messages
21
Thank you for all your kind words, I would love to train for something new but I just really don't have the motivation anymore, my life just seems to be get up, work, go home, sleep and repeat, the past few weeks a friend has messaged to see if I want to meet up one day after to work for a catch up but I just make excuses as I just don't want to be around anyone.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
Thank you for all your kind words, I would love to train for something new but I just really don't have the motivation anymore, my life just seems to be get up, work, go home, sleep and repeat, the past few weeks a friend has messaged to see if I want to meet up one day after to work for a catch up but I just make excuses as I just don't want to be around anyone.
sounds like a washing machine cycle wash -rinse- spin -wash -rinse -spin- but you have to get the washing out sometime. just take baby steps is what i do
 
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trueblue85

Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2017
Messages
21
sounds like a washing machine cycle wash -rinse- spin -wash -rinse -spin- but you have to get the washing out sometime. just take baby steps is what i do
It does feel like a washing machine cycle, and then when I have a few days off I just don't have the motivation to do anything
 
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trueblue85

Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2017
Messages
21
Generally don't know how much more I can take, really feel as though I have nothing to live for anymore, forgot to take my meds as well today. I just don't know what is wrong with me i have worked since I was 16 and and never take sick days and always make it through my shift however these past few weeks it has been such a struggle for me to get up and make it through a day at work, the thought of going back tomorrow is just unbearable.
 
lilbit

lilbit

Member
Joined
May 3, 2018
Messages
21
Location
London
Hi trueblue

I understand how you feel - I have been in exactly the same position with work and the dire repetitiveness which drains so much you lose the will to do anything with your spare time. It's horrible. Have you looked at moving to another job? Applied for something else? I tried this and it lifted me to a certain extent, as in gave me some hope that there was an alternative.
 
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