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Reaching a Crisis Point

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FuzzyLogic

Member
Joined
Sep 2, 2009
Messages
9
Location
Northern Ireland
From early childhood I have suffered from social anxiety. When I was little I only had a few friends and as I got older my lagging social skills meant even those few drifted away from me. For a while I indulged in imaginary friends and spent most of my time in elaborate daydreams seperate from the real world, but as I grew older this became impossible to keep up and I found myself alone and isolated when all my peers had since developed social networks and lives that I was hopelessly out of the loop from.

Now I am older things are starting to come to a head and I don't know what to do. I pretty much drifted into university, only seeing as a means of avoiding the world of work and prolonging my immersion and familiarity of education. With graduation approuching next year things are looking bleak since I have studied a highly academic subject with little vocational merit and have never had a job of any kind because of my overwhelming urge to avoid unessicary contact.

I don't want to die poor and alone. Sometimes I just lie in bed awake all night tormented by this fear, crying for all the wasted time in the past and the seemingly hopeless future.

Has anyone else ever been in any way similair situation? If so, did things improve and how can I emulate that?
 
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Soren

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
91
Location
uk
hi fuzzylogic, you sound so much like me, its uncanny. i'm afraid i don't have great practical advice, as i'm still struggling along in my 30s. the improvements i've made have been sporadic and gradual, and i've never completely escaped the torture.

however, if you've managed to get a good education, and you're still young enough to use it, then your outlook is still brilliant - easy for others to say, i know.

by the way, judging by your name and your mention of highly academic non-vocational study, i'd guess you're a fellow philosophy type, no? (obviously, don't say if you'd rather not - anonymity and all that!):)

anyway, wishing you all the best.
 
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jamesdean

Guest
Anxiety is the most awful thing in any shape or form I once run out of house party at whot seemed to be like a 100 miles an hour to frezzing conditions so nuch so that I could hardly walk home in themiddle of the nightthere was a time when I got out of a car journey home about 25miles before my home town n spent the night once again in the cold and even just before christmas last years might of even been this years I left skid marks running/getting the fuckout of a house party because of anxiety. I havent even ever thought of it has socialanxiety it was just so scarry I also spent most of my life thinking that I was the geek never speaking up @ social events,worksocial events etc,always hiding in the corner.COLOR]
 
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FuzzyLogic

Member
Joined
Sep 2, 2009
Messages
9
Location
Northern Ireland
My life would be so much better even if I had just one friend. I sit home all day not doing anything. I like the idea of going out to see films and things but I'm far too self-concious to go by myself so I just stay here reading and playing videogames. Only now I can't even seem to do that much any more. I look at a book lying there and think "what's the point?". I have a total lack of enphusiasm. Usually I'm a pretty ardent reader but I haven't finished a book now in over a month.
 
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jamesdean

Guest
I hope thatyou can find us a friendly bunch Iknow its dosent take away the lonlieness,I quite like having my own time,I dont care for to much of these :mad: peoplein the street,I was almost recluse @ one point in my life because people can be so hurt cruel and spitful just in thier ignorance to understand whot others might be going through,I do hide fromthe generalpublic has often has I can, but I doknow that I am reallylucky to have a beautiful bf and a coupleof close friends that know about my mh condition n not if I'm better tommorow thats whot thepsych said yesterday that diagnosis can change yeah Iwould love to be 100% cured of mh andphysical health but so far to day it has happened I'malsoopen to tiohers views perhaps there is something I missed that could helpmy recovery.

Sorry excuse me going off on one I just wish you well like and has I wish for myself and others,I need somefood take care regards JD
 
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FuzzyLogic

Member
Joined
Sep 2, 2009
Messages
9
Location
Northern Ireland
So, I drove all the way into down and went into the volunteer centre. I thought volunteering for something would be a good way to get out more but I couldn't work up the nerve to go up to the guy at the desk. I just looked around at the leaflets and things for a while and left, then drove all the way back home.

I hate myself.
 
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Ainsworth

Guest
So, I drove all the way into down and went into the volunteer centre. I thought volunteering for something would be a good way to get out more but I couldn't work up the nerve to go up to the guy at the desk. I just looked around at the leaflets and things for a while and left, then drove all the way back home.

I hate myself.
try not to hate yourself, you took a step, thats good. next time you will make another step, give yourself time and pace yourself.

i did volunteer work to help me become more social, its a good place to start as you do it when you have the time and when your feeling ok

good luck for next time :)
 
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Soren

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
91
Location
uk
i've been thinking of trying to volunteer for years now, and still haven't even dared to go into the volunteering centre! (after all, what if i actually end up agreeing to actually do something!) i'm totally impressed that you went in there - so don't go beating yourself up.
 
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Anastassia Florine

Active member
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
30
Hi, FuzzyLogic! I have the same fear; that without someone supporting me I'll be homeless. But for me it's because I never seem to be able to hold a job; it's trouble paying attention, not the social thing.
 
tH@l35

[email protected]

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
45
Location
UK
My life would be so much better even if I had just one friend. I sit home all day not doing anything. I like the idea of going out to see films and things but I'm far too self-concious to go by myself so I just stay here reading and playing videogames. Only now I can't even seem to do that much any more. I look at a book lying there and think "what's the point?". I have a total lack of enphusiasm. Usually I'm a pretty ardent reader but I haven't finished a book now in over a month.
It's uncanny, what you said has just described my life. (Except the reading bit, I never want to stop educating myself). I think it's important to hold on to your dreams and ambitions, although i'll accept that's easier said than done. I dropped out of college against my wishes when I was 17 as I couldn't cope with the anxiety, but now i'm back 3 years later and I'm fed up with my life being dominated by fear. Perseverance and support are key I think. Hang in there.
 
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