Re-visiting a place from the past

D

dewey

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#1
There are parts of the past I have definitely blocked out, like not even thought about for years, and all the feelings I had during those phases of my life.
Recently I had the unfortunate experience of having to visit the place I had been where I was extremely fragile and depressed, the school I went to. I saw someone outside the school, who was also in my year, but it is now a teacher there. This trigger happened around a week ago.
I wish this incident had not happened and I annoyingly bump into this person a lot. But it does just bring back a very difficult part of my life.
I have tried continuing and going back to normal, and discussed this with my therapist in as much detail as possible in the time we had. However, I could do with some extra advice, I notice that now after shutting out that period of my life , all these terrible feelings, anxiety, paranoia, are flooding back to me.
In a way it is a good thing because to be honest, I had completely shut it out so maybe it became an unconscious source of my depression and at least now I can address it.
But now I am just constantly ruminating over this period of the past. Thinking about it. It doesn't go away. It's crazy
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#2
i know how hard it is keeping on replaying things from the past over and over again :hug:

Trying to stop thinking about it won't work, its like telling you to stop thinking about pink elephants - if you tell yourself "don't think about pick elephants" your brain will think about pink elephants :hug: its best to let the thoughts go through your head and not hold onto them and try to concentrate on something else :hug:
 
Lunus

Lunus

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#3
There are parts of the past I have definitely blocked out, like not even thought about for years, and all the feelings I had during those phases of my life.
Recently I had the unfortunate experience of having to visit the place I had been where I was extremely fragile and depressed, the school I went to. I saw someone outside the school, who was also in my year, but it is now a teacher there. This trigger happened around a week ago.
I wish this incident had not happened and I annoyingly bump into this person a lot. But it does just bring back a very difficult part of my life.
I have tried continuing and going back to normal, and discussed this with my therapist in as much detail as possible in the time we had. However, I could do with some extra advice, I notice that now after shutting out that period of my life , all these terrible feelings, anxiety, paranoia, are flooding back to me.
In a way it is a good thing because to be honest, I had completely shut it out so maybe it became an unconscious source of my depression and at least now I can address it.
But now I am just constantly ruminating over this period of the past. Thinking about it. It doesn't go away. It's crazy
It sounds like you are using emotional reasoning. This will trigger your negative core beliefs from thinking about the past and projecting about the future. Personally I find I forgot things because I detached from reality as I found it too painful to deal with. As I started feeling better I also started to remember things. Mostly painful as that’s just been my life. Maybe just try observing how you feel with certain events, notice the emotion but do not act upon it. Hopefully in time the thought will pass. Try to focus on just the here and now, accept what happened happened. Today is a new moment.
 
D

dewey

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#4
It sounds like you are using emotional reasoning. This will trigger your negative core beliefs from thinking about the past and projecting about the future. Personally I find I forgot things because I detached from reality as I found it too painful to deal with. As I started feeling better I also started to remember things. Mostly painful as that’s just been my life. Maybe just try observing how you feel with certain events, notice the emotion but do not act upon it. Hopefully in time the thought will pass. Try to focus on just the here and now, accept what happened happened. Today is a new moment.
Using emotional reasoning how ?
 
Lunus

Lunus

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#5
Using emotional reasoning how ?
Well please bear in mind I’m no expert on the subject but my opinion is that in seeing this person you are basing your reaction on your feelings that in turn are creating negative thoughts that are in turn causing you to suffer because they all relate back to your negative core beliefs. Your initial feelings are likely to be highly sensitive and emotional but not necessarily true or factual. If you could just see him in the present moment so to speak it may cause you to suffer less?
 
D

dewey

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#6
Well please bear in mind I’m no expert on the subject but my opinion is that in seeing this person you are basing your reaction on your feelings that in turn are creating negative thoughts that are in turn causing you to suffer because they all relate back to your negative core beliefs. Your initial feelings are likely to be highly sensitive and emotional but not necessarily true or factual. If you could just see him in the present moment so to speak it may cause you to suffer less?
Confusing idea but still interesting.
I think it's emotional reasoning and vicious cycles, yeah.
 
D

dewey

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#8
The good thing is realising it. Accepting the thought and just waiting for it to change, which it will in time. Good luck with things mate.
Thanks a lot.
Dealing with the past is weird. The instinct is to bury it, completely block it out, but just one trigger can bring it all back. We need to maybe confront it, but it is terrible to see one's demons.
I can't do anything to change the past and wishing it had been different is not going to do anything. Wishing is time consuming. Energy consuming.
 
D

dewey

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#9
I truly want to just forget the past. Eradicate it. Wipe it out from my mind. So I can become a new person. I wish there was a way to erase memory.
I just want to go somewhere no one knows me.
 
Lunus

Lunus

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#10
Thanks a lot.
Dealing with the past is weird. The instinct is to bury it, completely block it out, but just one trigger can bring it all back. We need to maybe confront it, but it is terrible to see one's demons.
I can't do anything to change the past and wishing it had been different is not going to do anything. Wishing is time consuming. Energy consuming.
Confronting and accepting the past through radical acceptance is a crucial part of recovery for if you do, troublesome thoughts just dissipate and leave your mind free from suffering. So as painful as it is, I found after decades of ruminating and suffering that once I didn’t suppress my thoughts they disappeared.
 

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