Re-joining You All

[Clarityofthought]

Hi I just thought I would post in here even though I've been a member for a while. I have now changed my name and don't want to mention my old name as two people close to me found me on here and it was not so good. I guess it helps having those somebody's knowing my problems - but i was just embarrassed! Anyway, basically, I am battling PND again (2nd child/2nd time) although i have had normal depression many times. I am currently taking SJW's after a course of a/d's started to fail me. I have had two big marital problems lately - which have tested my mental strength to the hilt!! One just today!! I don't know how we are getting through it but somehow we are. Lately, I have lost my appetite. I lost about 1 1/2 st through diet and exercise. But now since the first marital problem I just lost my appetite! I'm still only just in the obese range though, so I don't mind! I'm sure it's just nerves. I've had loadsa blood and urine tests lately so I'm sure it's not a health problem.
Anyway, thankyou all for still being here. I hope i can find some help here. I have no-one else to turn to. My mum has become distant since my marital problems - perhaps she thinks i made my bed..... And friends, well, what friends?
Oh, I am still battling self-harm. I forgot to mention that. I haven't done it since Xmas, but it's hard not to. However, sometimes i just want to cut REAL deep. It's like the shallow cuts are nothing now so I don't bother. But sometimes i go CRAZY with longing to feel better inside my head!
Well, please say hi so I don't feel so alone in this world! Thanks!!

 

[Dollit]

Good to have you back - glad you feel you could come back xx

 

[Clarityofthought]

thanks Dollit

I went a bit awol. I think I let the depression win for a long time. I know i need some kindof place to go where people are kind and non-judgemental. Here-I guess: If that's ok.

I was surprised to see myself on here as 'Founding Member' - does that mean I was one of the first here? It sounds awfully good! lol

I will have to pop back another night now as got to go sleep as work weekends (bummer) and got to get up at 6am...

Love, Clarity

 

[Dollit]

One of the first 500! And you know it's ok to be here! It really is great to see you back. Catch up with you soon x

 

[honeyquince]

Hi Clarity and welcome back.

What you say about sh really rang true for me... I've virtually given up but only because it just seems such a waste of time and now I just jump to the big bad stuff which luckily doesn't happen so often. Still no idea what to do about that other than to shout for help from the professionals which still doesn't take away the need. Hmmm.

Anyway, I hope you find us as non-judgemental and kind as ever!

Take care.