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re inviting the evil back in

skitzofrantik

skitzofrantik

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2012
Messages
1,957
Location
terminal velocity
just a rant needed, crazy to think this all started so innocent, just wanting to sort a passport to actually fuck of for a little while been saving like crazy over last year, so sent everything of but application got returned coz parents marriage certificate was needed my biological dads dob posed less problems but for marriage cert meant only had one option, so after speaking to my auntie wich was its own multi dimensional trip as we hadny spoken since nan passing how ever she did say she would help and managed to get mums number for the info i needed to sort marriage cert or though the amount of justifying and bloody explaining coz of how suspicious she was well just fucking stupid :mad: especially since she didny even recognize my name and had to mention my auntie asking if it was ok to phone before she even knew who i was, well i generally take this as a plus even for me was a bit of wtf! so got the shit needed and sent of fingers crossed this time.
how ever got a phone call from sister about a week half later and thinking that last time we spoke she didny mention getting married or any of that and pretty much throwing olive branch back or though that was her choice canny get head round why she phoned me about some one she doesny even like and well he was pretty much the only one there towards the end of nans life my sister has never got on with or made a point of visiting. Phones to say he has lung cancer and is in a really bad shape, kinda hate being like this but after the years of shit trauma and horror kinda hard to just trust whats is said, so much of this just doesny add up, she said she would txt the next day the number to contact him this was a few days ago, only have one person to contact to verify but last i knew they wernt talking also perhaps guilt but just hate that i only ever phone when info is needed never to actually speak to them, when i was younger didny understand that maybe its just age that makes me feel guilty and really havny a clue canny trust the source it came from but validating isny simple either would she really lie about something like that all those years ago def not, now didny ken :unsure:
just fucking hate that one of them has been bk in my life less than a week and head is already getting fucked with all the what ifs confused how she even got my number so wanting it to be something in the more positive direction hate having to grief for living people but they made there own choices just havny a clue what direction this is going in and my sense doesny feel its a good one to fucking old for this shite :cry2:
 
S

secretsurvivor1

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 27, 2013
Messages
306
Location
SW UK
sounds like a nightmare! I guess if you are out of touch and then get in touch people do have news you were unaware of; maybe it is true. It is a bit of a shock. Maybe think about it a bit more and decide if it is better to ignore it (with a risk of regret if the person dies) or enquire (with the risk of getting mixed up in old stuff and getting upsetting news or getting misled if they lie to you). It is a balance on risks and on what you can live with. Hope you are ok.
 

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