• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Rapidly developing depression symptoms

U

UnusedUsername

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Ontario
Hi, everyone. Honestly, I'm not certain if I have developed a clinical depression or if I'm just having a normal reaction to real hardship, but I'm not in a good place right now. I feel a sense of pain and discomfort 24 hours of the day, I stopped enjoying games and music, and I have a hard time mustering up the motivation to get out of bed. I have OCD and it's led to me becoming very neurotic and introverted, things I've been working on but don't change overnight. I ordinarily won't speak to anyone unless they talk to me first, I have to force myself to. I moved out of the city I did grades 5-12 in a few years ago and have lost contact with all my friends. My mother and my grandmother are very mentally ill and difficult to have normal relationships with, as a result I only really have my father to talk to. However, my father is very protective of me and I know that if I shared the extent of my current pain with him it would hurt him deeply, so I'm not willing to. This is why I'm here, I don't expect anyone to fix my problems but talking about them helps me come to terms with them.

I don't need to be an extroverted party boy, nor do I want to. Honestly, I would be satisfied just to find a good woman, but a year of effort has not ever gotten me close to finding one. I continue to take steps to give myself a better chance, but all the failure is weighing on me and it's gotten to the point where just seeing attractive women can muster up feelings of negativity and cause me pain. I'm 6'4" 225 pounds, I've turned a flabby gut into an athletic physique, I'm very bright, chivalrous, and my OCD prevents me from lying. Older people always say I'm handsome, but all the women I'm attracted to have shown they completely disagree and I'm starting to believe them. I honestly can't fully explain why they're not interesred, aside from the simple fact I'm reserved and struggle to approach people I don't know. I've tried everything, wasted about $400 on dating sites and apps, and in 23 years I've been in one relationship for 3 months (she was great, but it wasn't working). Not knowing what I can do to fix it has added to a sense of helplessness, and my normally very positive upbeat attitude has began to turn into staunch cynicism and I'm concerned about developing resentment towards the generalization of people I view as having rejected me. Recently I've began smoking weed everyday and night to try to fend off depressive symptoms, but it's starting to not work anymore.

I'm not seeking medication because I know that fixing issues in my life will restore my mood, but just getting by is starting to be very difficult. As of now I'm hoping that being able to talk about the way I'm feeling might be able to get me through this period of isolation. I've put out job applications and signed up to volunteer to get more interaction, but remaining neurotic and reserved and now cynical I don't have a sense that any fundamental change is coming.

I very much appreciate anyone who takes the time out of their day to read this, I would've made it shorter but, y'know, OCD.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
828
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
I think that talk therapy (CBT) would really help you, especially since you say you're not seeking medication.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
W How do you motivate yourself when you have depression? Depression Forum 5
Carol1952 Depression Depression Forum 8
W My head is buzzing with agitation and depression!! Depression Forum 3
Peaceful Warrior A Biologist about depression and our world view Depression Forum 5
Wishbone Depression related: Do you have Asthma or Allergies? Depression Forum 2
Z Is this depression? Depression Forum 9
P Helping/supporting my girlfriend who has depression Depression Forum 3
N Do i have depression or just dramatic Depression Forum 3
S anxiety and depression, does it ever end?? Depression Forum 5
whyme88 Anxiety leading to depression? Depression Forum 7
midnightphoenix Depression Depression Forum 1
F My Partner with depression Depression Forum 18
D Think my dad has depression (advice needed) Depression Forum 6
L Partner with depression Depression Forum 13
Supermansgirlfriend Depression hits again.. Depression Forum 10
W My Partner Suffers from Depression & Anxiety Depression Forum 6
DistantOcean Advice for people with depression Depression Forum 7
M 11 years of depression improperly treated by incompetents. 3 suicide attempts. PLEASE HELP!!! Depression Forum 6
D Not being able to meet girls. Worsening my depression. Depression Forum 15
Fairy Lucretia people that don't understand MI /depression Depression Forum 15
Desire less Depression translated Depression Forum 4
LostNorthernStar Physical Symptoms of Depression & Anxiety? Depression Forum 10
D Physically and mentally paralyzed by depression Depression Forum 7
Jewellady5 Depression Depression Forum 8
Z Depression? Depression Forum 4
A What is your bigger struggle, depression or anxiety? Depression Forum 53
B Medicine (pills) lead to Depression, seeking general guidance without specifics Depression Forum 1
R depression from sleep disorders/difficulty Depression Forum 4
R How do you cope with major depression Depression Forum 1
inicornus Talking to parents / friends about your depression Depression Forum 19
N Severe depression Depression Forum 14
Desire less Why it's so hard to get out of long-term depression!!! Depression Forum 4
Z Depression is destroying my life Depression Forum 16
MeAndMyDepression What ONE symptom of depression bothers you the most? Depression Forum 12
H How do I support someone with depression? Depression Forum 16
L Managing depression Depression Forum 13
E Does depression make you say things you don’t mean to the people closest to you? Depression Forum 6
J Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy to treat treatment resistant depression Depression Forum 2
A Depression from the last year ruined my marriage. Depression Forum 5
T Is this the depression talking or am I onto something? Depression Forum 16
W No job, no joy, nothing. Depression is killing me. Depression Forum 15
L Depression from grief and blame. Depression Forum 4
T Depression from Sleep Disorders/Difficulties Depression Forum 3
M Tired of fighting depression. Depression Forum 5
L Male postpartum depression Depression Forum 1
M Depression due loneliness, anyone else ? Depression Forum 25
M Discussing my depression with SO Depression Forum 5
starfoxxy90 Greif and Loss with depression.. Depression Forum 2
S Help! My partners depression effect our family Depression Forum 6
MeAndMyDepression Cognitive distortions and depression Depression Forum 1

Similar threads

Top