Rape fantisies in relationship with rape victim

O

OCD121

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Scotland
#1
Hi all, I have been dating a girl I met 6 months ago and think she is an incredible human being, she's overcome so much hardship in her life and is still such a caring and lovely individual, I love her dearly. One of the hardships she has endured that she revealed to me was that she was sexually assaulted at age 14 by her boyfriend who drugged her and took advantage of her. This may sound incredibly crude but I am bisexual and have always had fantasies about large penises and her rapist had one. I have been having fantasies that genuinely turn me on about the two having intercourse, I do not fantasize about the rape itself but I feel disgusted that I could be turned on by the thought of her and her rapist engaging in sexual acts, I've become guilt ridden and am struggling to cope with these fantasies when they arise, I feel like an evil individual and can't comprehend why I feel turned on by this when I should be absolutely appalled (Another obsessive thought I struggle with is that I lack empathy and that I am narcissistic or sociopathic and this has only further fuelled these obsessive thoughts also)
 
Rusko

Rusko

Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2019
Messages
20
Location
UK
#2
I do not read everyday posts like you, but I will reassure you that you are not the only one having similar fetishes.

People watch porn displaying brother and sister intercourse, mother intercourses and many rape between these two as well. They are even very popular these days.

What I can say from a sociological point of view is that humans are attracted to what is prohibited and banned by our society, in some people, it will sparkle imagination, or even deep will to have such but never actually allowing such thing to happen. Our brain is divided by neocortex and limbic brain, the neocortex is responsible for rational thinking and has a capacity for language that is why you can explain why you think that and that you are disgusted. On the other hand, The limbic system (emotional motor system) is responsible for the experience and expression of emotion and has no capacity for language, that is why you cannot express why you feel it, it is also responsible for the gut feeling.

So do not feel guilty for it, I guarantee you that all humans had a rape fantasy or similar at some point at least once, we cannot stop our fantasy, domination is part of male's natural instinct after all. Of course, we can despise it or would never allow it in real life. That is what makes us different from animals.
 
O

OCD121

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Scotland
#3
Thank you so much for your reply, it's greatly appreciated and clarified the separation between fantasy and what I really want, its put my mind at ease a little so thank you again