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Rant Warning: Really Pi$$ed Off

prairiechick

prairiechick

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So according to the exam schedule one of my exams is on a Saturday. Big deal. But it seems that my professor doesn't want the inconvenience of having an exam on the week end. So he asks the class if we can do it differently--one page of review questions that we do on our own, and then an open book exam in class. Not such a big deal, right? BUT we only got 2 days notice. Yeah, it's open book. BUT I hate it when things just change suddenly and don't go according to the schedule. Call me anal, I guess I am. But I have therapy tomorrow and that usually finishes me off for the day, and now I have to do those stupid questions for Wednesday. Why is this pissing me off so much? I don't know, and the fact that I don't know is making me more mad than ever. I haven't got a clue how we're going to fit in an exam plus time to work on a group project plus present our project to the class all in 3 hours. I am SO STRESSED and SO ANGRY and REALLY WANTING TO SELF HARM.
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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I don't know what to do at 10:15 at night to get all my frustration out. If it were daytime I could go for a walk, but that's not safe in the dark. I want to yell and scream and throw things, and this seems like too strong a reaction for this situation. The only other thing I know to do is turn it in on myself and self harm. Or stuff my fucking face with food. I don't know why I am reacting the way I am and it's really unsettling me.
 

MarlieeB

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But yelling, screaming and throwing things is the safer option for you surely?

If I was you, I would do that or punch a pillow, anything to stop you from hurting you.

xx
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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Not if I get noise complaints from my neighbours. I could get kicked out of my apartment for that. So far I haven't done anything bad to myself. Posting what I want to do and can't do seems to have helped a bit, kind of like imagining doing those things without actually doing them. The goal is to calm down enough so that I can get a good night's rest for tomorrow, which is the beginning of neuro-therapy, and I'm a bit anxious about that as well.
 

MarlieeB

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Fair enough. As long as talking about it does help you PC. Just try your very best not to hurt you :hug1: I think you are doing a good job, shows how smart you are :)

xx
 
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