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random thoughts or i guess desires to harm others

Ras

Ras

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This isnt a constant thing anymore as i have gotten a bit older but every so often these thoughts and at times desires to harm others just pop in my head out of no where. I used to just do what i wanted without any real thought put into it and if that put myself or others in danger, it would mean nothing to me.
last night though i almost went back into doing that again without any real thought, but as something just to really amuse myself.
took my kid to his jujitsu class yesterday and there was this guy there who was going on about all these injuries he has to another person and basically how he can hardly do anything due to his injuries and just like a that the desire to hurt him popped in my head, just to see what would happen. I have nothing against the guy. he wasnt annoying me or anything like that. I just wanted to see if he was as fragile as he was making himself out to be.
The only thing that prevented me from doing it right there on the spot in front of like 15 people was my kid, seeing him there just stopped me from doing it. If he wasnt there and i was, things most likely would have gone pretty different.

So in a way i guess that is progress. I put my child above anything or anyone else despite how strong desires i have get even if it is over something completely stupid like that. But before he was born, there is no way i would ever stop to think about stuff like this. I would just do things without a second thought
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Human life is very fragile.

I have looked at my cat before and thought how small she is, how she could die just like that if i was not careful with her. It is frightening to me.

I have never thought of killing anyone, especially not a human ever. I have wondered how people can kill poultry for food, and other animals, even leave fresh fish to stop breathing and it really upsets me, i think i would chuck it back in the sea even though i like to eat fish.

I have been angry with people and thought i would like to kick them, but never actually done it. Some people have been very nasty to me and it is difficult to get over such a injustice.

Do you not feel fear at your power?

I don't even think i could carry a weapon in the armed forces. Men though, i was told by an ex in the air force, should be raised to be ok with killing to protect others such as those in the military.

I don't know how i would react if i was faced with a threat like that. I'd like to think i would try to protect others.
 
Ras

Ras

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I have looked at my cat before and thought how small she is, how she could die just like that if i was not careful with her. It is frightening to me.
why does that frighten you?

I have never thought of killing anyone, especially not a human ever. I have wondered how people can kill poultry for food, and other animals, even leave fresh fish to stop breathing and it really upsets me, i think i would chuck it back in the sea even though i like to eat fish.
you have never thought of killing anyone? like never?
Do you eat meat?

I have been angry with people and thought i would like to kick them, but never actually done it. Some people have been very nasty to me and it is difficult to get over such a injustice.
what stopped you from doing it?

Do you not feel fear at your power?
what power?

I don't even think i could carry a weapon in the armed forces. Men though, i was told by an ex in the air force, should be raised to be ok with killing to protect others such as those in the military.

I don't know how i would react if i was faced with a threat like that. I'd like to think i would try to protect others.
i guess you never really know how you react till you are put in dangerous situations. i think we all have a natural instinct to survive, i guess its how far you are willing to go with it
 
Tawny

Tawny

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It frightens me because i know murder is wrong and i am scared how easily it can be done.

My ability to do something wrong by mistake or under the influence of the wrong medication, or if i don't take my medication, is frightening. The brain can malfunction so easily, psychosis, paranoia, manic rage, it is frightening to me the thought of ever doing anything wrong.

There are people who seem to have killed, their mind snapped and went somewhere else due to the way they had been treated as children or even adults i think. The Bulger case is one example that comes to mind. People who seemed to have normal lives suddenly can turn and there are many examples of this. I don't know even if evil comes over someone.

It is unknown and i therefore don't really know how to avoid becoming a criminal.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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What stopped me from doing it?
Being the bigger person
Walking away
They are not worth it
If they knew it was wrong, they would not have done it. People come to their own guilt when they are ready.
Vengeance is not mine.
 

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