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MarlieeB

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#1
I've been trying to keep a low profile on here over the past few days since the Vodka day and all the embarrassment of all my posts on here and taking things the wrong way, just been sticking to my safe place on here. (The journals)

So why am I posting on here now? To be honest I don't really know that much.

I don't feel as rubbish as I have been so that is a good thing I guess but that is only because I gave into the urges I've been having and even though physically, I feel awful mentally doing what I did has made me feel better.

I know that isn't a healthy thing to do, the risk of it actually working is high but it's good for me to actually take that risk because it does clear things up a tiny bit. Of course don't follow my example.

I know that isn't normal and it's a very stupid way of dealing with everything but yeah.

Of course it does scare me when I get that far but the usual ways of coping or the other, less dangerous ways of sh just don't work anymore, I don't get any kind of relief.

The services just don't give a crap about me, I've given up on them actually listening to the "very urgent" referrals cause let's face it, 8 weeks and three follow up phone calls from my GP, including the one a couple of weeks ago which she said I was in need of CT and was going to ask for them to ring them, nothing has happened. Not even a phone call so what's the point.

It's like they actually want me to prove it so that is what I'm going to do, prove it. Again, that is an extreme risk but I have nothing to lose.
 
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Helena1

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#3
they dont want you to prove it.

you have took ods. they know that. i dont see how taking more is proving anything. not that i am suggesting doing anything else. you need to keep yourself safe. :hug1:

what do you think the crisis team could do to help you?

haven't you been with crisis team before, have you got there number?
 
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MarlieeB

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#4
I do have their number but I can't make that first move. I know how stupid that sounds, you should be used to my stupidness by now but I hate being let down by people. If you are going to say you are going to do something then you do something.
 
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Helena1

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#5
you are going to have to ring them if you use the service i would think.
i think if you want them you need to ring them.
suck but unless you wait there is no other options i can see.
 
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Helena1

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#6
i think you should call them up right now. then you wont have to worry about it anymore. :hug5:
you can do it.
 
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Noetic

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#7
No need to keep a low profile Marliee; I didn't think you embarrassed yourself on Vodka day; but even if you did, so what, we're your friends so stuff like that doesn't matter; all that matters is that you're safe. Please stay safe. :hug:
 
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Helena1

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#9
No need to keep a low profile Marliee; I didn't think you embarrassed yourself on Vodka day; but even if you did, so what, we're your friends so stuff like that doesn't matter; all that matters is that you're safe. Please stay safe. :hug:
oh year. forgot to say. i agree. i dont think you embarrassed yourself then AT ALL.
 
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Helena1

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#10
i think you should call them up right now. then you wont have to worry about it anymore. :hug5:
you can do it.
i dont mean to pressure you. soz if i made you feel worse. i just know that i am much better at dong stuff impulsively than planned out and i mean positive stuff good for your long term wellbeing there.
i just want the best for you and you get the help you need.
xxxxx
 
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MarlieeB

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#11
I know, thank you.

I just don't feel like I am in crisis at the moment so it's a waste of both mine and their time.

You didn't make me feel worse at all :)

xxxxx
 
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Noetic

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#12
oh year. forgot to say. i agree. i dont think you embarrassed yourself then AT ALL.
I make a proper prat of myself yesterday when I misread a post and accused Toasted Crumpet of being unfaithful; and there wasn't even Vodka involved. :redface:
That was embarrassing.
 
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Helena1

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#13
I make a proper prat of myself yesterday when I misread a post and accused Toasted Crumpet of being unfaithful; and there wasn't even Vodka involved. :redface:
That was embarrassing.
i was suppose to be talking to mairlee there. rereading it it defo looks like i am talkign to you. sorry. me had a stressful day. :redface:

i dont think either of you embarrassed yourself.
 
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Helena1

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#14
I know, thank you.

I just don't feel like I am in crisis at the moment so it's a waste of both mine and their time.

You didn't make me feel worse at all :)

xxxxx

reread you op. you say yourself you are putting yourself at great risk. that says crisis to me.
 
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MarlieeB

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#15
I consider crisis at being at the point of actually doing it. Now if you talked to me on Wednesday then I would totally agree with you but I'm calmer and less impulsive.

I understand how it can come across though.

xxx
 
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Helena1

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#16
would you call for help at that point though?

maybe you are better than wed. i think you would still benefit from them.
people are usually under them for a few weeks i think, no you dont need to be attempting to be under them.
 
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MarlieeB

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#17
I haven't before. When I went into hospital it took over a day to convince me to actually do it
 
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Helena1

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#18
I haven't before. When I went into hospital it took over a day to convince me to actually do it
that just proves you can't be waiting till you reach what you call crisis point before contacting them.