• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Raising kids despite having a mental illness

BetaMale

BetaMale

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Messages
659
Location
India
I suffer from a severe mental illness and have made the decision to stay single for the rest of my life as I believe that getting married and having kids would make my mental health much, much worse. This way, I also have the privilege of having enough time to pursue my twin passions of physics and mathematics. However, I realize that this is a personal decision and others in my situation may choose differently.

So, my questions to parents who suffer from a mental illness are:
  • Were you diagnosed before or after you had your kids?
  • Do your kids have a net positive or negative effect on your mental health?
  • Do you find yourself wishing you had more time during the day?
  • Do you get enough sleep?
  • If you had your kids after you were diagnosed, do you regret having them because of the toll they take on your mental health?
I really look forward to hearing from you.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,780
Location
hiding behind the sofa
I suffer from a severe mental illness and have made the decision to stay single for the rest of my life as I believe that getting married and having kids would make my mental health much, much worse. This way, I also have the privilege of having enough time to pursue my twin passions of physics and mathematics. However, I realize that this is a personal decision and others in my situation may choose differently.

So, my questions to parents who suffer from a mental illness are:
  • Were you diagnosed before or after you had your kids?
  • Do your kids have a net positive or negative effect on your mental health?
  • Do you find yourself wishing you had more time during the day?
  • Do you get enough sleep?
  • If you had your kids after you were diagnosed, do you regret having them because of the toll they take on your mental health?
I really look forward to hearing from you.
I was diagnosed with depression at 14 years old though that diagnosis changed a few times. My first psychosis at 18 and OD at 21. Then various ups and downs throughout the years

My kids had a definite positive effect on my health although at times it was a struggle but they gave me a reason to get up in a morning. I really think without them I wouldn’t have survived.

Doesn’t every parent that’s ever had children

Same again, with children you go for years without enough sleep. Even when their adults you still worry and lose sleep over them

Not for one minute have I ever regretted having children and were a very close and loving family.
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Messages
659
Location
India
I was diagnosed with depression at 14 years old though that diagnosis changed a few times. My first psychosis at 18 and OD at 21. Then various ups and downs throughout the years

My kids had a definite positive effect on my health although at times it was a struggle but they gave me a reason to get up in a morning. I really think without them I wouldn’t have survived.

Doesn’t every parent that’s ever had children

Same again, with children you go for years without enough sleep. Even when their adults you still worry and lose sleep over them

Not for one minute have I ever regretted having children and were a very close and loving family.
Thank you for your reply, @daffy. I guess sometimes things have a way of working out regardless of one's past decisions.

If you don't mind me asking, do you think you've passed on any of your mental health problems to your children?
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,194
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
I would never have children ,I just couldn't do it
in one way I would be a wonderful mummy but I would be obsessed with being perfect
I find it hard enough looking after my dog sometimes xxx
 
Flameheart

Flameheart

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 7, 2018
Messages
1,377
Location
Lost
I don't have kids and don't plan too, mental illness runs in my family pretty severely, I have two uncles diagnosed with schizophrenia, my gran seems to display similar BPD symptoms to me constantly, my mum and brother have also both been depressed and suicidal, why would I pass all that shit on
 
F

Fallingfromthetop

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 16, 2019
Messages
157
Location
Slipperyslope
I don't even have mental illness. I was depressed before and it will probably come again as it has gone in waves since I was about 15.

But for the exact same reasons as yours I decided to not get children if I can help it.

Who knows maybe when I am 40-45 (35now) I change my mind. But the latest 20 years I had no thoughts of getting children.

I value my time and sleep to highly to sacrifice it even for a child that is mine (I mean I would I just wouldn't want to)
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,780
Location
hiding behind the sofa
Thank you for your reply, @daffy. I guess sometimes things have a way of working out regardless of one's past decisions.

If you don't mind me asking, do you think you've passed on any of your mental health problems to your children?
I’m pretty certain that part of my problems of schitzoaffective were down to genetics with a strong family history of denied MH problems even when my uncle died on psychiatric ward my mum (his sister) would not accept he was mentally ill. And I’m pretty sure my mum had MH problems. She never accepted I was ill and never once visited me in hospital. I have two children both adults now one has no problems at all the other has BPD but whether that’s down to the childhood trauma she suffered or hereditary I couldn’t say. Hers is now being well controlled with DBT
 
Top