Quit taking my medications for my bipolar/intermittent explosive disorder..getting mild suicidal ideations?

R

RidingTheBipolarXpress

New member
Joined
Aug 6, 2012
Messages
1
Quit taking my medications for my bipolar/intermittent explosive disorder..getting mild suicidal ideations?

My daily regime was:

150 WellButrin XL

100mg Lamotrigine(Generic Lamictal) (Mood Stabilizer)

300mg seroquel nightly (for sleep, and to control anger outbursts and impulse control)
and finally....

150 Litihium Carbonate (supposed to start after renal/thyroid examined and to replace lamotrigine)

The wellbutrin was making me snap, the lamotrigine caused a really light pinkish rash over my chest. Doctor had a look and said it looks benevolent..screw that..I've read the rash can be deadly if it progresses to Stevens-Johnsons. So in actuality the only drug I am still taking is my Seroquel, 300mg or sometimes 600 or 900mg to fall asleep or calm me down.
I blew off my appt with my psychiatrist (she actually is a psychiatric nurse practitioner and a licensed psychotherapist, she never hears me out when I vent its all about now let's examine your meds and see how they are workin...blah blah.. I've been on so many SSRI's and SNRI's I give up hope..

She claims the lamotrigine is mood stabilizer she is treating me with until I can get my renal/thyroid checked before I start "Lithium Carbonate".. which I read in itself can be deadly. I really do just want something that actually works..I've been having temper outburts ad slighty irritable and had asked her for a benzodiazepine to calm my anger down but she throws my substance abuse past in my face and refuses...

I don't know what to do or think, I am definitely manic and can't eat or sleep for a couple days at a time, even the seroquel is useless in that episode..What's it gonna take for me to really feel real and not so depersonalized? I get the old suicidal thoughts running threw my mind more frquently, and the thought of self harming seems plausible..but NOT going to do that. I can beat this in my head and I am really starting to believe I can.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
42,707
Location
Lancashire
Hello and Welcome to the forum.

You do sound angry at the moment. The Lithium and the seroquel only work if taken regularly. It sounds as though you are not using the seroquel properly, if you are only using it to sleep. It needs a steady dose to work effectively. Yoyoing u and down will affect your stability. If you have a high dose then a lower one, you go into a mini withdrawal which can involve symptoms asserting themselves again.

Lithium is very good. Yes you will need blood tests regularly, but that is for your safety. I very much you can beat bipolar alone. I would say you could really do well with therapy along side it, to help you over the bits you can't see in yourself, but still affect you.
 
Top