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Quick to anger

U

Until

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Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Messages
149
Location
uk
Some things can make me go from feeling good, 1 to feeling angry 10, so 1 to 10 scale in less than a minute.

Example I was putting a call through to someone at work and said it's Adrian for you from this particular company and he replied do you mean Mike, I replied no he said his name was Adrian.

He said are you sure, I said yes he said Adrian. He said maybe he said Adam, I said no he definitely said Adrian he's on the line now waiting to be put through.(I can feel annoyance rising in me quickly and its showing in my voice) He started talking to someone in the background I couldn't hear what he was saying but he came back and said are you sure? I said yes it's Adrian, Adrian!

I couldn't help the annoyance in my voice by this time, so he huffed and puffed and took the call. He came off the phone and said you were right his name was Adrian.

I wanted to say I know that's what I said I am not an idiot! But I just said hmmmm ok. It annoys me that I get so angry over something like this, i was ranting at my colleague about the phone call aswell and then I am annoyed at myself for getting so wound up about it and showing it. I just can't keep calm sometimes.

And i also wonder if people try to get me wound up on purpose to show what a bad person I am or for their entertainment. Which is cruel
 
Z

ZoeZoe

Member
Joined
Aug 12, 2020
Messages
22
Location
UK
I totally understand where you're coming from. You are not alone. One of the key things I have read about BPD is "rage!"
Any type of injustice or rudeness or like your situation where you're being told you're wrong when you know you're not, make me go from 0 to 10 on the rage scale. I manage to do a pretty good job of hiding it but it's there and it's raging.
The word I find helps me is "perspective". You have to try and convince yourself that most of these things really don't matter and just walk away. You're hurting yourself, no one else, by allowing yourself to rage.
But I do understand it is hard. I still rage. It's a lesson every time to try and make myself let things go. Hopefully one day I (we) will master it :)
 
U

Until

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Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Messages
149
Location
uk
yes exactly i hate it when people try to tell me i am wrong when i know for sure I am not, it does make me rage. At least i am not alone.

I don't know anyone personally who is like me, everyone else seems to be able to control themselves and probably just don't feel the rage I do. I know people look at me funny and make comments when I get angry, which makes me worse. Yes maybe one day i can control it....
 
Z

ZoeZoe

Member
Joined
Aug 12, 2020
Messages
22
Location
UK
yes exactly i hate it when people try to tell me i am wrong when i know for sure I am not, it does make me rage. At least i am not alone.

I don't know anyone personally who is like me, everyone else seems to be able to control themselves and probably just don't feel the rage I do. I know people look at me funny and make comments when I get angry, which makes me worse. Yes maybe one day i can control it....
Don't be hard on yourself. I am not at all assertive, I don't like conflict (to the point where I shake!), and I never ever stand up for myself. But when the BPD rage comes along I have to really try and stop myself being a total overreactive b*tch, lol. I get on my soap box putting the world to rights, and I carry this horrible knot of injustice around in my stomach, even though I don't want it there.
We really need to find something that calms our rage. My dogs really help but they are not always with me in the moment it happens. Let me know if you discover an anti-rage tactic!
Remember as well, that even though BPD makes us very reactive with things like rage, it also allows us to really feel genuine joy and love and appreciation when those moments come along too. So it's not all bad :loveshower:
 
U

Until

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Messages
149
Location
uk
I always feel bad about myself after I have raged. I have been able to control it in some situations and I feel proud of myself when I do, but it is not often enough
 
Zaz2020

Zaz2020

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Joined
Oct 16, 2020
Messages
210
Location
Scotland
Anger is a difficult emotion, especially with Bpd. It can come out of seemingly nowhere so fast and take a grip of you. When you're in flow it's a nightmare to control. And it doesn't stop there...you then have the guilt and shame about how you behaved to face afterwards. I never like to cause a scene but sometimes I benefit more from letting it out rather than suppressing it. The more I hold it back the stronger it becomes. It's a predicament I've never found a solution to as yet.
 
U

Until

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Messages
149
Location
uk
yes you are right when in the grip of rage I cannot control it at all, it just is and the feeling can sometimes go on for a long time. I then feel guilt afterwards
 
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