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Questioning if this is real

B

butterflykisses

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Haven’t received the official diagnosis yet. I’m starting to question though if I really have bipolar. I’m very convinced that it’s not ADHD or borderline or anything else that’s often confused with bipolar.

My biggest doubt is because of what’s happening right now. I don’t think I meet the criteria for a mixed episode, but it doesn’t feel like a pure depressive or pure manic episode. It’s like I’m depressed then sometimes show more signs of hypomania on top of the depression. However, in the past I have had episodes that met full criteria for hypomania and episodes that met full criteria for depression. But right now, I don’t really know what’s happening. It’s like I’m depressed most the day then sometimes in the evenings, I feel super agitated and frustrated for even being depressed so I come up with ideas and things to do that will make me feel more powerful, alive or express that increased energy. And then I get very irritated and want to hurt myself but then that sometimes turns into slight euphoria. But overall, it feels like depression is the main mood that I feel, and have felt for months now.
Does anyone else have feedback or have experienced something like this before?
My psychiatrist saw me last when I felt very manic-y but I don’t think she realizes that I feel mostly depressed right now. And I don’t even know how to explain it at the moment.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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Yes I feel quite the same. I haven't had a pure (hypo) manic episode in 13 years. I had two micro-psychotic episodes in 2006 and 2007, the 2nd one followed by a manic episode that may have been caused by stress and the use of antidepressants. Since then I've been on and off depressed with a base mood of mild depression (dysthymia). Sometimes I get a few manic symptoms, mostly irritability/anger and trouble sleeping for a while (varying from a day to a few weeks).
Still I was diagnosed bipolar 1,5 years ago. I think it should be bipolar NOS instead of bipolar I.

Officially you could get a bipolar diagnosis if you Ever had a (hypo) manic episode, so you would qualify for it.
 
B

butterflykisses

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Yes I feel quite the same. I haven't had a pure (hypo) manic episode in 13 years. I had two micro-psychotic episodes in 2006 and 2007, the 2nd one followed by a manic episode that may have been caused by stress and the use of antidepressants. Since then I've been on and off depressed with a base mood of mild depression (dysthymia). Sometimes I get a few manic symptoms, mostly irritability/anger and trouble sleeping for a while (varying from a day to a few weeks).
Still I was diagnosed bipolar 1,5 years ago. I think it should be bipolar NOS instead of bipolar I.

Officially you could get a bipolar diagnosis if you Ever had a (hypo) manic episode, so you would qualify for it.
Thanks for the reply. That’s very helpful. Right now we are just waiting to see how I respond to medication in order to see if it’s anything else besides bipolar. I’m very curious how the psychiatrist will know, like what symptoms would tell her that it’s bipolar, how would she know if it’s something else? How would she know if I happen to have more than one diagnosis? I feel like it could get really complicated.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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Mine doesn't know for sure either even after hours of talking about my symptoms and past episodes. It could be my bpd traits, it could be bipolar. I have mood swings, that's for sure, and mood stabilisers help. That is basically all that matters.
A psychiatrist knows what questions to ask and have the diagnostic manuals to guide them, even if you have more diagnoses, like me.
 
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butterflykisses

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Mine doesn't know for sure either even after hours of talking about my symptoms and past episodes. It could be my bpd traits, it could be bipolar. I have mood swings, that's for sure, and mood stabilisers help. That is basically all that matters.
A psychiatrist knows what questions to ask and have the diagnostic manuals to guide them, even if you have more diagnoses, like me.
That makes sense. In the past, they didn’t want to make a diagnosis until they knew I was healthy because I struggled with anorexia for a long time. They thought the hypomania could have been caused by malnutrition. But the beginning of the school year I was doing so well and was eating plenty every day but then had an episode which then caused me to start eating less because I wasn’t as hungry and didn’t want to sit down for a meal when I was so preoccupied with goals and things I wanted to accomplish. I’d spend 15 hours straight working on projects and things I wanted to get done and wouldn’t stop to eat. So now I know that the episodes cause changes to my eating and not the other way around. (It has been known as an ED because it becomes very intentional and used for a way to feel in control and to cope with life; but relapses are triggered by mood episodes). I think bipolar makes a lot of sense. But I’ll just see how I respond to meds but I won’t know till a couple more weeks and wait for them to actually begin working. Right now all it does is make me very tired all the time.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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You sound more bipolar than me 😉
What med are you on? It should be a few weeks until most work. With most meds the tiredness goes away in time.
 
B

butterflykisses

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You sound more bipolar than me 😉
What med are you on? It should be a few weeks until most work. With most meds the tiredness goes away in time.
Wait really? How come you think I sound more bipolar than you? I’m just curious.
I’m on 100mg of Seroquel and 25mg of Lamictal (slowly increasing dosage). At the very beginning of taking it, I was quite inconsistent because I hated the fatigue it caused and wanted to stay up all night doing things instead, I didn’t want to let go of the hypomania. But I just started again on Tuesday to make sure I’m consistent. And we’ve determined a plan of slowly increasing dosage of Lamictal. So it’ll be several weeks before I know how it’s working.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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when I was so preoccupied with goals and things I wanted to accomplish. I’d spend 15 hours straight working on projects and things I wanted to get done and wouldn’t stop to eat
This for instance is very classical hypomanic behavior that I have only had the one time 13 years ago when I was on an antidepressant.

Lamictal I believe can take up to six weeks and you are still on a low dose, so they may not work at all yet. Seroquel works a little faster, after 2-3 weeks, but may also take up to six weeks for full effect. And you have to be on the right dose too. 100 mg is only a sedative and mild antidepressant, it won't do much for manic symptoms short from the sedative effect that may make you too sleepy to get really manic.
If you only started on tuesday, you'll not notice much effect yet.
 
B

butterflykisses

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This for instance is very classical hypomanic behavior that I have only had the one time 13 years ago when I was on an antidepressant.

Lamictal I believe can take up to six weeks and you are still on a low dose, so they may not work at all yet. Seroquel works a little faster, after 2-3 weeks, but may also take up to six weeks for full effect. And you have to be on the right dose too. 100 mg is only a sedative and mild antidepressant, it won't do much for manic symptoms short from the sedative effect that may make you too sleepy to get really manic.
If you only started on tuesday, you'll not notice much effect yet.
That makes sense. So far it has only made me really tired which to some degree has calmed me down so I don’t feel as manic most the time. Right after I take it I start getting tired enough to go to sleep then the next day I’m pretty tired and groggy for a lot of the day. Then by evening I have some mild manic symptoms until I take the meds again. But overall I’m still depressed. So ya, I’ll just wait it out and see how I respond to it once it begins doing something in my body.
 
M

Mentalhealth2021

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I am also questioning my diagnosis. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 after one episode which I think was caused by serequel. I had been depressed for a while and experienced racing thoughts and hallucinations. I started having trouble sleeping and was given serequel- full manic episode at the ER. I have been on zyprexa, hallucinations and racing thoughts have stopped, but I have delusions that do not seem to go away. Now will be on latuda. I am scared to start it. Not sure what to do? I have been on lithium and lamictal- horrible side effects. It’s been four months since dx
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I don't have experience with hallucinations and antipsychotics other than seroquel. Maybe others can help you out.
All the best.
 
Zero One

Zero One

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Haven’t received the official diagnosis yet. I’m starting to question though if I really have bipolar. I’m very convinced that it’s not ADHD or borderline or anything else that’s often confused with bipolar.

My biggest doubt is because of what’s happening right now. I don’t think I meet the criteria for a mixed episode, but it doesn’t feel like a pure depressive or pure manic episode. It’s like I’m depressed then sometimes show more signs of hypomania on top of the depression. However, in the past I have had episodes that met full criteria for hypomania and episodes that met full criteria for depression. But right now, I don’t really know what’s happening. It’s like I’m depressed most the day then sometimes in the evenings, I feel super agitated and frustrated for even being depressed so I come up with ideas and things to do that will make me feel more powerful, alive or express that increased energy. And then I get very irritated and want to hurt myself but then that sometimes turns into slight euphoria. But overall, it feels like depression is the main mood that I feel, and have felt for months now.
Does anyone else have feedback or have experienced something like this before?
My psychiatrist saw me last when I felt very manic-y but I don’t think she realizes that I feel mostly depressed right now. And I don’t even know how to explain it at the moment.
I've been going through this today
 
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