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Question-Should I Tell My Mom About My Thoughts?

AnxiousE

AnxiousE

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It's just intrusive thoughts of SH, but I'm so emotional (well, not so much right now, but kinda upset because...)

Here's what happened. After a week (or really like a month or even 2) of emotionally suffering up and down and wanting to talk to Mom, but couldn't, either because she was busy or I didn't have time to explain and make sure she wouldn't worry too much...

but, so I finally said I was struggling lately tonight, and all she could write back was that she's been stressed/down too. Like, should I admit to her I have been having these thoughts of harm...or do I treat her like any other adult and keep it to myself so as not to hurt her/scare her?? I mean, if she was any other adult, I would, but she's my Mom! She's supposed to protect me and counsel me, right?? ugh!! i dunno! If I shouldn't tell her, how should I reply then??

thanks for reading
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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I think that's something only you can and should decide.

I personally wouldn't but that's because I don't have that kind of mother daughter relationship with my mom.

But,if I could turn to her knowing that she would be there for me,that she would actually listen to me or care,I would.

If you have the kind of relationship where you can do that then maybe that's what you might need right now?

You're lucky if you can.

Hugs.I'm sorry you've been struggling.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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If you think your mum would understand and support you then I would. It sounds like she may not realise how you are feeling right now.
 
P

Purpleplum

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Could you tell a counselor? Or ask your mom to get you a counselor? Many parents might not know what to do if told that their child wants to SH. Counselors are equipped for these types of things.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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I think you should definitely speak to someone about it. Speaking to your mother might mean a huge investment of faith, which might go one of two ways. Speaking to a Professional who is trained in these sort of things, might bring about the best outcome, and you can always speak to your Mother about it when you are in a better place. Hope this helps :)
 
TheSadnessWillLastForever

TheSadnessWillLastForever

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If she would react with support then absolutely tell her, it probably will hurt her to hear this from her child but reaching out and asking for help is better than struggling alone and giving in to these thoughts, it's worth it always.
 
AnxiousE

AnxiousE

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Thank you all for your suggestions and good wishes!

I actually did (finally) have a chat with my Mom last night. I didn't say specifics, but i just said I was having a really bad time that one night. Last night was another rough night, but I wasn't exactly having those thoughts. I was able to talk with her in that state, because she can understand it. I told her I was afraid to talk to her the other night, because I didn't want to make her sad. That would just make me more sad/guilty. She told me that she recognizes that sometimes she might feel sad, but that it shouldn't stop me from reaching out when I need to, she's my mother! It was really sweet of her to say that (sister feels the same). But the thing of it was, and they admit to this, that a lot of times they talk things out, not for a solution, but just to talk it out. I said that one night in particular, I felt like I may have needed a solution and that talking might not have been helpful.

So i guess they at least have an idea of how times get rough for me. And if I didn't already say it here, I don't WANT to act on these thoughts. It is just that overwhelming and I'm angry. Feel I need to do SOMETHING...and I guess that's why I'm afraid to talk to family who might just be like "oh it'll be ok" or something not helpful. Like, I already know it WILL be, but right now it really sucks! i've tried everything I can think of. help!

oh, well, i guess my announcement is that I am planning to write my doctor about these things, but I'm struggling with what exactly to say and also when to say it. I am afraid to write when I'm in those states, but then it's hard to really remember exactly what it felt like when I'm not. So...I'm procrastinating, but it's on my list to do. Any suggestions?? (oh, also, considering BPD again too. I dunno! I've some traits, but not all...and I'm pretty sure I was already tested-gonna make a new thread for this though).
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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I can understand you want advice rather then a listening ear. I think you will only get that from mental health professionals or others who have mental illness. It is good you are going to write to your doctor. How about you make some bullet points about how you feel? It will be more precise and easier then having to explain in more detail.
 
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