• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Question about someone I know

C

curious george

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2020
Messages
2
Location
usa
Hello all,

I have a question related to someone I know at work. Personally I think there is multiple things going on, with this person. I cannot get specifically into why, but I am concerned because this persons behavior has the potential to cause us a lot problems. This person is in his 50's and has always been this way before I knew him and is not going to turn it around anytime soon. I am fairly certain he is supposed to be taking medication from what I have been told, but he is so insanely cheap I suspect he does not always buy his meds even though he makes great money.

Here is a list of of attributes and behaviors. I just want to know what I am up against because we have already had inquiries from his bosses and HR about him. His behavior is so bizzare and all over the place I cannot nail down his problem.

* Extremely bright and can also be very nice at times and go the extra mile for someone.
* Brags a lot about himself. His own accomplishments as well as anyone he helps with something.
* Takes credit for other people's success and loves to point out (wrongly) they could not have accomplished it on their own.
* Has an extremely high opinion of himself and low opinion of most others.
* Very bad temper. I have seen this person lose their shit over a word someone used in a sentence.
* Loves to be the hero that saves the day.
* Impulsive and impatient. This guy will ask you a question. You get three words out of your mouth and immediately grows angry and impatient.
* Can be a bully but only with people that he perceives are really weak. He is 5'7 150 on a good day. I am 6 feet 235 and he doesn't dare look cross eyed at me. Also seems like the more beholden someone is to their job the worse he will treat them like they are easier to control. I can pick up and leave at anytime so that is another reason he doesn't dare look cross eyed to me.
* Everytime he gets into some sort of trouble or embarrasses himself at work he blames everyone but himself. He goes to the point of telling the most ridiculous lies about other people in order to save face. He will take responsibilty from any work mistakes, but not his personal behavior.
* I have also noticed he likes to surround himself with people that will protect him. It is like he knows he cannot control himself so he needs protection around him when he does blow up or insults someone etc etc.
* Whatever his mental illness is it seems to get worse when there is more stress, or when he just builds unnecessary stress or nonsense in his head. He loves to do that so he can be the hero in the end.
* There are some rare times he goes 180 degrees and is just staggering around the office quietly babbling to himself. Definitely not alcohol or illegal drug related.
 
S

Shay94

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
508
Location
Australia WA
Mmm I used to know someone that did that sorta thing. Have the bosses tried talking to him and asking whats going on in private? If its not drugs/alcohol related, it could that he's not taking his meds or it's not working for him, he might needa change to something else. There could be other stuff going on outside of work you dont know about.... tbh I think the bosses need to talk to him and get him seen by a doc for mental health, maybe he's not fit to work anymore & if he's rude to customers/staff, he shouldn't be there
 
C

curious george

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2020
Messages
2
Location
usa
Let me clarify. He never treats client or anyone above him like that. He also never behaves poorly in front of them either. He manages to control himself in those situations, but I have also noticed he is really wiped out after lengthy in person interactions. It is like he wore himself out staying in check.

It is my understanding he has always been like this and has alienated a lot of people over the years because of it. This has nothing to do with anything his personal life. I suspect his problems go back to childhood abuse of some form.

Also he is highly talented and innovative so people put up with him because the good outweighs the bad as is the case in the corp world most of time. He does not behave badly every day or even every week, but when he goes South look out!

We actually used to work for another company and our entire team got hired away by another company which is an interesting story in itself. The problem is the new company is a lot more progressive & woke and I am afraid his behavior is going to make the whole team look bad and ruin everything we are accomplishing.

I can put up with most of his narcissism and impatience / impulsive behavior, but his problem with his temper and insulting people is simply unacceptable especially in this new environment. And yes his behavior has become more frequent and sometimes worse in the new environment which I was afraid might happen. It is all a part of him putting a ridiculous amount of false pressure on himself so he can be the hero. Every little thing is life and death and has to be done asap.

He will never change and has no desire to do so because he thinks he is fine and dandy. I just do not want his behavior to take all of us down with him. Fortunately for him we work on sort of an island. His bosses and the rest of the dept work in another part of the country so that acts as a buffer zone that he very frankly needs and also had at the previous job.

He has already been spoken to more than once about his behavior and overstepping his rank on some issues. The part that worries me is his boss is literally the 180 degree opposite of him and is extremely progressive / woke and very hyper sensitive and cautious about everything. Bad mix for sure and this guy put his ass on line in hiring us which was an extremely bold move especially for someone like him.
 
S

Shay94

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
508
Location
Australia WA
That deffs sounds like a bad mix. Its good that he doesn't treat the clients badly or be rude to them etc, but as you said its like he's worn himself out when interacting with people. Its possible he's had some childhood trauma happened in the past but do you know if he's got any mental disabilities etc in his past or anything?
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
Floridasteve78 Question Introduce Yourself 4
calmleaves introduction and a question :) Introduce Yourself 11
aleks1009 Still a beginner here - question about racing thoughts Introduce Yourself 16
L Cross Posting Question Introduce Yourself 4
M Caregiver help question. My daughter is 22 with Schizoaffective. I need help and don't know where to go. Introduce Yourself 6
TAME_that_PAIN Quite dumb question... Introduce Yourself 1
A Nice to meet you all! Important med question, too (: Introduce Yourself 4
U Simple question Introduce Yourself 1
B Question? Do i have an eating disorder? Introduce Yourself 2
C Hi, I have a question Introduce Yourself 1
B I have a question also hello everyone Introduce Yourself 5
M Quick question Introduce Yourself 2
huggs Hello! I have a question... Introduce Yourself 6
N Pip question Introduce Yourself 6
S Question about a mental illness Introduce Yourself 15
S Hi! I have a question.... Introduce Yourself 3
Q question regarding pschologist assessment Introduce Yourself 1
F Question About This Forum Introduce Yourself 2
Y Hello and a question. Introduce Yourself 1
P Crisis Team Question - is this how the system always works ? Introduce Yourself 12
Hellbilly Quick question Introduce Yourself 26
D Help/Question! What Mental Illness do these symptoms indicate? Introduce Yourself 5
N I just need to talk without someone interrupting me. Introduce Yourself 6
T Why I joined - maybe someone will reply Introduce Yourself 5
R i need help and to talk to someone please someone talk to me Introduce Yourself 6
P I need someone to talk to Introduce Yourself 9
V How close a friend would you be to say this to someone? Introduce Yourself 2
K Im new to this! Please can someone understand me on here? Introduce Yourself 3
T Engaged to someone with BPD Introduce Yourself 3
A Hi, I suffer with anxiety and depression and occasionally need to connect with someone to help me change my thoughts. Introduce Yourself 13
IllusionGhost Someone lead the way, the right one Introduce Yourself 7
S How can i shift the feeling of dissapointment in someone Introduce Yourself 3
W It’s a miracle someone sent me an email and here I am. Introduce Yourself 3
P Hello! Looking for someone to talk to! Introduce Yourself 10
D Someone help me seek help Introduce Yourself 6
B Hi can someone explain to me Introduce Yourself 8
C Parent of someone who has Bpd and struggling Introduce Yourself 20
R Newby- Living with someone who suffers with Anxiety and Depression Introduce Yourself 4
N Someone help me Introduce Yourself 1
P Maybe someone can explain what I am feeling... I feel insane and a mess Introduce Yourself 4
T Dating someone with depression. Introduce Yourself 3
T Can someone help? Introduce Yourself 5
G I probably need someone to talk to. Introduce Yourself 5
3 i just need someone to listen Introduce Yourself 1
G Hello, I would really like someone's advice. I need someone to be blunt. Introduce Yourself 26
L Hi looking for someone to understand! Introduce Yourself 9
A I need some friendly words and someone to hear my story please x Introduce Yourself 4
U Please let there be someone who can relate to what I say Introduce Yourself 7
L Hi I'm new here,I suffer from servere depression and anxiety..Need someone to talk too Introduce Yourself 7
T Hi I'm new here. Just need someone to hear me Introduce Yourself 13

Similar threads

Top