- Aug 14, 2018
I completely understand what you're experiencing it, I've been through it myself and still do. I think a big part of the suffering is the way we judge ourselves as a result of things not going to plan- if people don't talk to us we blame ourselves and think there's something wrong with us. It's ultimately adding another layer of suffering that we don't need, although of course that's easier said than done. I suppose some work on the defeatist mentality you describe would be useful long term- because it's ultimately you inflating an experience in your mind to be more catastrophic than it actually is, it's just our minds playing with us. The reality is that many people choose not to talk to many people, including us, it's just that our personal experiences stand out more becos they take such a toll on our confidence.Thank you, I appreciate your response. I get that it is natural for humans to interact, but the thing is there are always at least two parties to consider when interacting: me and the other person. Nobody in this world seems to want to take the initiative to talk to me or interact with me, so I have to put forth all of the effort myself. On top of that, my Asperger's makes it so that this is an extraordinary amount of effort, far more than the average person would need. I forget what exactly the correct term for this is, but I have a sort of defeatist mentality, where it is very easy for me to give up on something if it does not go as planned one or two times. After exerting so much effort just to see failure after failure, the level of disappointment and depression that I feel afterwards is just too much to handle, and I give up, because I do not want to experience that pain again. It just seems like a hopeless lose-lose situation for me, probably because it is, but I just don't know what to do about it.