Question about psychosis

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Oleogasa

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#1
Hello. I have bipolar type 1 and I experience psychosis regularly and I have been experiencing it for a very long time without knowing what was really going on. I just thought everything I experienced was normal until my hallucinations got very bad. I want to know if anybody can relate to what I have been going through.

First, I don't have psychosis only when I'm manic, I also have it when I'm depressed. Second, I get it also in between, when I'm normal and balanced. I have never heard of it before, I thought people with bipolar only experienced psychosis when manic and in rare cases when depressed.

When I have psychosis I see people's faces change, especially the eyes. They can appear very evil and I feel like I can't trust anyone. I often feel like I can't trust people, even my family members, and I believe that they have some agenda and are plotting something bad behind my back. Often when I go to the grocery store, I think everybody is looking at me and judging me and I start to believe that everybody are in the same team, whispering something evil be hind my back,....and I panic.
Sometimes I see their eyes change into totally black eyes and I really believe that there are some evil spirits behind everything. Then I often see my own face change in the mirror. Sometimes I don't recognize myself.
I have also seen books on the bookshelf change into another form and I have seen all the rooms in my house and the furniture get smaller, like I'm not there anymore..just watching above, like I'm not really alive, just disconnected.
I often think somebody is watching me and I have to cover my lap top so no one can see me. I also have been very paranoid around bathrooms, thinking some one has put a camera in the ceiling and is watching me. One time I thought somebody was poisoning me.

I often can recognize that it is not normal and I talk openly to my husband about this. But sometimes it is just to real.
Than afterwards, when I wake up of this situation, I see and know that it was not normal. I'm not totally disconnected from the reality.
Then, when manic I see very bright colors and sharpened environment.

I was just thinking...what are you experiencing when you have psychosis ? Is this a typical psychosis in bipolar ? what do you experience ? Do you see peoples eyes change ? Are you paranoid all the time ?

I feel like Im alone in this. I tried Google and got a good description of psychosis but not an example of how it can manifest from person to person. I know that it's not the same, depending on a person. Thank you.
 
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linus

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#2
Psychosis is a way to describe several symptoms that can be related to an underlying illness. To me it seems you don’t have a severe one, especially since you are able to analyse yourself. Are you getting any professional help for these delusions and hallucinations? (like specific meds, cbt, etc)
I used to read a lot about personal experiences of others with psychosis by searching on google, standard medical descriptions won’t help, they are too technical usually. Btw, do you have any other symptoms during those episodes? (The so called negative and also cognitive)
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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Schizoaffective disorder is a diagnosis given sometimes to people who have either depression or bipolar who also have symptoms of psychosis when they are depressed or manic, but have also had psychosis for a period of time when they weren't depressed or manic. Your doctor would know more about it and you can share the info you told us with him or her and talk to them about it.
 
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Oleogasa

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#4
Psychosis is a way to describe several symptoms that can be related to an underlying illness. To me it seems you don’t have a severe one, especially since you are able to analyse yourself. Are you getting any professional help for these delusions and hallucinations? (like specific meds, cbt, etc)
I used to read a lot about personal experiences of others with psychosis by searching on google, standard medical descriptions won’t help, they are too technical usually. Btw, do you have any other symptoms during those episodes? (The so called negative and also cognitive)
I havent heard about negative and cognitive symptoms, I dont know if I have those symptoms. I take olanzapin when Im manic or in a mixed state
 
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Oleogasa

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Schizoaffective disorder is a diagnosis given sometimes to people who have either depression or bipolar who also have symptoms of psychosis when they are depressed or manic, but have also had psychosis for a period of time when they weren't depressed or manic. Your doctor would know more about it and you can share the info you told us with him or her and talk to them about it.
Yes Im going to speak to my doctor about this, he doent know everything. Thank you.
 
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linus

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#6
“Negative Symptoms of Schizophrenia: Things That Might Stop Happening

Negative symptoms refer to an absence or lack of normal mental function involving thinking, behavior, and perception. You might notice:

Lack of pleasure. The person may not seem to enjoy anything anymore. A doctor will call this anhedonia.
Trouble with speech. They might not talk much or show any feelings. Doctors call this alogia.
Flattening: The person with schizophrenia might seem like they have a terrible case of the blahs. When they talk, their voice can sound flat, like they have no emotions. They may not smile normally or show usual facial emotions in response to conversations or things happening around them. A doctor might call this affective flattening.
Withdrawal. This might include no longer making plans with friends or becoming a hermit. Talking to the person can feel like pulling teeth: If you want an answer, you have to really work to pry it out of them. Doctors call this apathy.
Struggling with the basics of daily life. They may stop bathing or taking care of themselves.
No follow-through. People with schizophrenia have trouble staying on schedule or finishing what they start. Sometimes they can't get started at all. A doctor might call this avolition.
Cognitive Symptoms & Thinking Problems

These symptoms reflect how well the person’s brain learns, stores, and uses information.

Someone with schizophrenia might have a hard time with their working memory. For example, they may not be able to keep track of different kinds of facts at the same time, like a phone number plus instructions.

Along with having trouble paying attention, it can be hard for them to organize their thoughts and make decisions.“
 
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Oleogasa

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#7
I recognize most of it but not all. I'm usually like this when Im depressed. Thank you for this info.
 
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linus

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#8
Ok, I come to realise that these symptoms are the ones really affecting my son’s functionality in society and there are no meds to counter them. I guess only love, therapy and perseverance can help, don’t give up..
 
WillC1

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#9
The word psychosis is used to describe conditions that affect the mind, where there has been some loss of contact with reality...
 
calypso

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I think you can be psychotic and still aware of the world around you and have the power to analyse it. I think books tend to talk in black and white terms about MH Problems and don't always see the spectrum of reactions.

To answer your question, I have voices when I am in a bipolar depression mainly although I recognise that colours seem enhanced when high. The voices comment on everything I am doing at the time, following me around with an opinion on everything! It drives me nuts. As for paranoia, I have only experienced that twice, and both times therapy helped me realise that it wasn't real and I could cope with the thoughts and feelings associated with it. Gradually, it disappeared.
 

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