Question about empathy.

[kurtov]

I have a hard time feeling empathy to people, even close friends. I try as hard as i can to understand what others feel during whatever situation. but i dont think i ever hit the nail on the head, i feel really detached from the world around me and tend to live in my own head alot, although i do have periods of extrovertedness which keeps me longing for more.

Anyway, ive been reading up on narcissism and borderline personality disorder. i dont have time now to explain all of my other symptoms but given from what i have said does anyone here find these sorts of things familiar to either bdp or narcissism? also any suggestions on what i could do to possibly control this a little more?

Thanks,
-kurt

 

[HONEYSWEET]

hi

ive been dianoised wiv bpd but may now not have it as i have pmdd but i find it hard to feel empathy to people but animals i feel there pain love etc. wen babies in africa came up on adverts i didnt give a stuff the parents were selfish in breeding like they do, i really didnt care. then 1 day it came on and i felt all these emotions and nearly cried for them, this started to happen more and more even with the soaps and it was because i subconsiously let down my barriers to humans as people were being kind to me. now i realise they were just sucking me in and the barriers have gone back up, thou some times they come down but not for very long

i dont no bout narcissism that much is it where they can be horrible to others and not feel guilty?

 

[kurtov]

well i think narcissism has different levels to it. i dont know to much about it but have gatherd a bit of info jsut from wikipedia.

anyway in my case i just notice myself being self obsessed, i focus alot on what others think of me, or ill just think about myself and my different attributes and then compare them to others.

I hate this because it either leaves me feeling smaller or bigger than other people, never equal. which in turn leads to arrogance or insecurity. i realise this stuff and try my hardest to not talk about myself and just listen to others and go along with what theyre saying but it just doesnt feel natural.

Also, read that bi polar ties into narcissism and border line personality disorder. which is something i looked into a while abck when i realised my mood swings. i go alot from either extremly out going and happy, to introverted and depressed. and then also there is an in between where i just seem to be in control and calm.

anyway, i read alot of stuff about all of this recently and its becoming overwhelming, does any of this make sence to anyone else? anyone have any suggestions for me?

 

[Dollit]

It's not a good idea to go and look for your symptoms on the internet and diagnose yourself. If you want a diagnosis then your GP is the place to start. Here we can only talk of our personal experiences and not make a diagnosis. Opinions tend to be personal and reflected by our experiences.

 

[kurtov]

It's not a good idea to go and look for your symptoms on the internet and diagnose yourself. If you want a diagnosis then your GP is the place to start. Here we can only talk of our personal experiences and not make a diagnosis. Opinions tend to be personal and reflected by our experiences.

that almost sounds like you copied and pasted it straight from some kind of formal document.

Not dissing you but just sayin.

thanks for the response, im glad you said whatr you did because i am aware that i have a tendancy to read myself into beleiving things that are not true, such as these mental problems.

the fact of the matter is, that ive been through life for about enough time to realise that i must have something wrong with me, the problem is that i belive those same problems prevent me from going to see a proper diognostitian. im too introverted to release my personal issues (which even i dont understand) upon another person.

So with that being said im not sure what else to disclose, i am convinced that i have many problems that could be improved on my mind, i just dont know how to say that and go into details with my doctor

i wont be surprised if no one replies with usefull information again. but if you can than it would be appreciated.

eat your veggies,
-weow

 

[Dollit]

I don't copy and paste anywhere - I have my own mind!

If you can't speak to a doctor then write down what you feel and take it with you. It's somehow less personal then and you would be amazed a how many people on here have done that.

If you do have a tendency to worry and fret then the way the media reports health issues these days doesn't help at all. Being alive is considered to be an illness almost. And I'm amazed at how many people have actually become Bipolar lately just because it's the latest celebrity thing. The amount of people in the population at any given moment is less than the 1 in 4 that is quoted. 1 in 4 people will, in their lifetime, suffer from a mental health problem not 1 in 4 currently with a mental health problem.

 

[mxm]

This idea reminds me of something else that's different.

I'm not saying anyone here does this but I don't think its fair for anyone to invalidate anyone else's psychological / emotional problems or mental health issues.

When I was young, my brother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and everyone around him invalidated his problems. They told him it was all nonsense and to just get on with life. I can't tell you the harm that can do to a person and no one deserves that.

I doubt that anyone posts on this forum because they think its fashionable or because they have simple people issues or because they caught a disease off of the media.

If you have posted here looking for support, the chances are that you need it and you're innocent and you deserve all the help and support you can get.

I hope you are ok Kurtov and find some way of working through things.

Maybe you could do a journal (or add to your journal) and start to make a record of what you are going through day to day or week to week. After a while you might learn more about yourself and if you could get used to the idea, take a summary of your journal to a doctor. It might help to just look at it yourself too though.

About my journal, I thought, how can I solve a problem if I don't know what it is? I also thought I can't explain it to anyone else if I didn't know myself. I have met a lot of doctors that don't ask the right questions so it could be good to understand your problems if you have them.