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Question about coping

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Delphinium8

Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2020
Messages
10
Location
USA
I've had a problem with self-harming on and off for a few years now. I've never really addressed it in any depth, and the once or twice I've mentioned it to a therapist I was just told I have to find other coping methods. Which works fine, until it doesn't. Eventually, I always seem to end up back at a place where the coping methods that are usually my favorites (listening to music, doing puzzles, exercising until I'm exhausted, etc.) just don't feel like enough any more. Sometimes I hold out, but other times I just can't seem to make myself feel better and I self-harm again. I'm in a fairly bad life situation right now and I'm not sure how much I trust myself. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this and/or found ways to cope that actually make urges to self-harm go away.
 
Brownangel

Brownangel

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Jun 6, 2020
Messages
35
Location
london
Hi, I'm sorry you feel that way, have you ever tried yoga and meditation, it has helped me in the past. Both of those put you in good mindset and make you think positively and focus on your body rather than your thoughts. I hope this helps, I'm here if you need to chat.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,148
I've had a problem with self-harming on and off for a few years now. I've never really addressed it in any depth, and the once or twice I've mentioned it to a therapist I was just told I have to find other coping methods. Which works fine, until it doesn't. Eventually, I always seem to end up back at a place where the coping methods that are usually my favorites (listening to music, doing puzzles, exercising until I'm exhausted, etc.) just don't feel like enough any more. Sometimes I hold out, but other times I just can't seem to make myself feel better and I self-harm again. I'm in a fairly bad life situation right now and I'm not sure how much I trust myself. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this and/or found ways to cope that actually make urges to self-harm go away.
Self-harming is serious. Have you mentioned this to your Care Teams recently? If not, now would probably be a good time. Hope this helps :)
 
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Delphinium8

Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2020
Messages
10
Location
USA
Hi, I'm sorry you feel that way, have you ever tried yoga and meditation, it has helped me in the past. Both of those put you in good mindset and make you think positively and focus on your body rather than your thoughts. I hope this helps, I'm here if you need to chat.
I have tried yoga and meditation before, but honestly they didn't really do it for me. I know they work for a lot of people, but maybe not for everyone? I think for me it's kind of the same thing as with most other coping skills. When I end up in a really bad place, it just doesn't feel like it's enough. Thanks for the suggestion, though.
 
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Delphinium8

Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2020
Messages
10
Location
USA
Self-harming is serious. Have you mentioned this to your Care Teams recently? If not, now would probably be a good time. Hope this helps :)
Normally my thought would be to talk to my therapist, but I'm in between therapists at the moment. I have an appointment with someone next week, but of course it's someone I don't know or trust yet. I'm reluctant to ever mention this kind of thing to a therapist I don't know or to a doctor because I'm afraid of being forced into a psych hospital again. I've been in the local psych hospital several times before and sometimes I feel like it does more harm than good, not actually helping in the long run and then charging me a couple thousand dollars that I don't have.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to ramble. Honestly, I don't know what I should be doing right now. I feel like I shouldn't even bring this topic up with anyone because I'll just get locked up, but I also feel like I need to talk about it. So I don't know.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,148
Following your gut instinct is definitely a good step forward. So yes defo talk about it. What should you be doing? Well staying safe would be the obvious. I think you should defo talk about this to your Care Professionals, relaying all of your fears, including the financial ones. They should in turn work with you. Your safety needless to say is paramount :)
 
Brownangel

Brownangel

Active member
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Jun 6, 2020
Messages
35
Location
london
Normally my thought would be to talk to my therapist, but I'm in between therapists at the moment. I have an appointment with someone next week, but of course it's someone I don't know or trust yet. I'm reluctant to ever mention this kind of thing to a therapist I don't know or to a doctor because I'm afraid of being forced into a psych hospital again. I've been in the local psych hospital several times before and sometimes I feel like it does more harm than good, not actually helping in the long run and then charging me a couple thousand dollars that I don't have.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to ramble. Honestly, I don't know what I should be doing right now. I feel like I shouldn't even bring this topic up with anyone because I'll just get locked up, but I also feel like I need to talk about it. So I don't know.
Hey, if you want to chat I'm here, I won't judge you and even if I don't understand I can listen xx
 
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Delphinium8

Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2020
Messages
10
Location
USA
Hey, if you want to chat I'm here, I won't judge you and even if I don't understand I can listen xx
Thanks. I just get really frustrated sometimes. I guess self-harm kind of feels like a taboo subject, even in conversations with psychiatrists or therapists. I have an appointment with my new therapist tomorrow, but honestly I'm not sure what I'm going to say. They always ask if you've been 'having thoughts.' I've struggled to explain to people in the past that just because I have thoughts about something doesn't mean I'm going to do anything. I have an issue with intrusive thoughts, so sometimes bad thoughts will suddenly be there even when I feel okay. It's usually something I try not to talk about right away. I'm not sure I know how to communicate things properly.
 
Brownangel

Brownangel

Active member
Joined
Jun 6, 2020
Messages
35
Location
london
Thanks. I just get really frustrated sometimes. I guess self-harm kind of feels like a taboo subject, even in conversations with psychiatrists or therapists. I have an appointment with my new therapist tomorrow, but honestly I'm not sure what I'm going to say. They always ask if you've been 'having thoughts.' I've struggled to explain to people in the past that just because I have thoughts about something doesn't mean I'm going to do anything. I have an issue with intrusive thoughts, so sometimes bad thoughts will suddenly be there even when I feel okay. It's usually something I try not to talk about right away. I'm not sure I know how to communicate things properly.
It is difficult to communicate how you feel, good luck with your new therapist. And I get that even if you are thinking about it, doesnt mean you will actually do it. Still here if you do need to talk about anything that you don't feel comfortable talking to your therapist about xx
 
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RevDaLude8o8

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Honolulu, HI
I don’t have much experience with this topic. But I’m here to help in anyway possible. What triggers your urge to self harm? if you don’t mind me asking. If a situation that can trigger yourself to self harm try to avoid it as much as possible. I know deep down for a fact that you know yourself better than anyone. To put yourself in any bad situation, which outcome could trigger to self harm. Listen to your heart and your gut. And also learn from your past experience so you won’t put yourself in a same situation that could triggers to self harm. Take care of yourself And stay strong. I’m always here if you need any help.
 
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Delphinium8

Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2020
Messages
10
Location
USA
I don’t have much experience with this topic. But I’m here to help in anyway possible. What triggers your urge to self harm? if you don’t mind me asking. If a situation that can trigger yourself to self harm try to avoid it as much as possible. I know deep down for a fact that you know yourself better than anyone. To put yourself in any bad situation, which outcome could trigger to self harm. Listen to your heart and your gut. And also learn from your past experience so you won’t put yourself in a same situation that could triggers to self harm. Take care of yourself And stay strong. I’m always here if you need any help.
Usually it's when I get super stressed out or something traumatic happens. I try to manage stress and flashbacks and such, but it doesn't work all of the time. I think the biggest problem is that right now I'm stuck living with my ex. We had a bad relationship and just him being around is a massive trigger for me, but for multiple reasons it isn't possible for me to leave this living situation right now. I'm trying to figure out how to get out, but the soonest I might be able to is still six months away. It's frustrating because I know what would make things easier for me, but I don't have the money or resources to do it right now.

Also, if I self-harm once, that makes it so much harder not to do it again. If I can see any evidence, it's like it makes the urges worse. Knowing that kind of freaks me out.
 
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RevDaLude8o8

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Honolulu, HI
I see, try to get out of that environment as soon as possible. I know the feeling, having a mental illness like me with depression. People and places can trigger me as well. Keep a journal with you. Everyday write down little goals you achieve that gets you closer to leaving your bad environment and the person that can stress you out. Even write good things you did that day for other people as well. Just put that idea in your mind that I’m gonna leave that environment and never come. The phrase “out of sight out of mind” is a great feeling in the world. So write down what steps to take to make that reality yours. Remember your the captain of your ship after all. Your dreams and goals that you can find happiness and peace can never be taken away from you. Because it’s yours and your alone.
 
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