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Pushing someone i love away due to BPD

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Luvvey63

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Joined
Jan 14, 2021
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Wolverhampton
I've been in a relationship with a guy for around 10 months. He literally doesnt have a bad bone in his body and I adore him. Yet I've kept pushing him and being nasty due to my own thoughts and issues. Then felt completely abandoned by him when he couldn't come see me the one day and flipped and ended it. I've regret it since. I believe he is the love of my life and I'm struggling on how to fix this. I cant cope with how I'm feeling and feel horrendous for being so horrible and pushing him away. How can I fix this and make him realise my BPD ways arent what I'm really feeling?
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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you will only have love if your willing to risk everything for it, to love it more then you love yourself, to melt into it and disappear.

 
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TravelingSparrow

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Joined
Jan 13, 2021
Messages
22
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California
Are you in BPD treatment? Telling him u know u messed up and u don’t wanna react like that, so ur going to be in treatment during the relationship may be a good agreement for the relationship. BPD symptoms and reactions can get better with treatment and over time. It has a lot to do with awareness and being able to catch ur moods and thoughts before they get too big.
 
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lemontree

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Jan 1, 2021
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What are the thoughts and issues that have made you push him away in the past? In the moment, can you recognise them for what they are, just thoughts? You don't need to tell me if you don't want but it's something to consider. Being able to recognise these things in the moment is difficult and being able to do opposite-action and not indulge in those thoughts is harder still - but doing this repeatedly does help and in time your brain settles down as you take back the control. I only say this because I have done the same and found it has helped me greatly in life, it takes time but you must remember that you can learn to take control of your thoughts rather than letting them control you. Thoughts only become a reality when we act on them - and though it's like trying not to scratch a burning itch, you have it in you to resist
 
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