Recently, I've noticed a pattern that I go through when I meet new people. Usually, when I spend a lot of time with someone, especially someone similar to me, if they are better than me in something that is important to me or closely tied to my fragile self esteem (singing, archery, etc.), I start to feel really insecure, jealous, and my depression gets worse whenever I interact with them. Because of this, I try to push them away, but then things become tense since I see them on a regular basis and I used to be friendly towards them. They don't know that I have depression. I don't want to give someone so much power over my feelings and I want to make friends without blacklisting people. How do I avoid this situation when I get close to others?