Pure OCD and problems with guilt. Sexuality problem

[Lycanthrope10s]

Hello, everyone.

This is my first time writing in this forum. I'm an 18 years old boy and i was recently diagnosed with pure OCD.

My OCD has affected every single part of my life and the guilt for my past mistakes is totally overwhelming. I think that the principal problem is with my sexuality.

I have had a couple of girlfriends in my lifetime and every single time we had something related to sex, I started feeling like a rapist, and the biggest sinner on earth. Even when the girls keep saying to me that I didn't do anything wrong, and they feel good with me, guilt is simply too big to handle.

For example, one time I was with a girl, and we started to kiss. After a while the situation started to get sexual and without reason, I started to feel like a monster (In a fact, I cried) and all that month I couldn't even look her in the eyes.

I'm very afraid of becoming a monster and my sexual life is practically destroyed due to my OCD, at the point I feel dirty when I masturbate.

I don't know what to do, I take my meds and go to therapy, but I feel like I'm cracking up.

Also, I have horrible thoughts related to Incest, Killing or raping someone, and I'm terrified of become one of the bad ones. Every time I have those thoughts I feel extremely anxious and guilt. One single thought can ruin all my day.

Thanks for reading, I hope that you and your loved ones are okay

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

why, do you have some religious brainwashing telling you sex is bad or something?

there is only 4 bad things about sex:

1- std's
2- unwanted pregnancy
3- hurt feelings when people break up
4- one person is shelfish and just uses the other person

those are the only bad things. so if you avoid those then the rest is all good.

-to avoid std's just get a regular partner who doesnt sleep around.
-to avoid unwanted pregnancy use brith control pills
-to avoid hurt feelings dont have sex with a girl if she expect a future relationship that you wont give
-to avoid selfishness talk about what the other person needs in order to have an orgasm and not just you.

 

[Lycanthrope10s]

Hello there

why, do you have some religious brainwashing telling you sex is bad or something?

there is only 4 bad things about sex:

1- std's
2- unwanted pregnancy
3- hurt feelings when people break up
4- one person is shelfish and just uses the other person

those are the only bad things. so if you avoid those then the rest is all good.

-to avoid std's just get a regular partner who doesnt sleep around.
-to avoid unwanted pregnancy use brith control pills
-to avoid hurt feelings dont have sex with a girl if she expect a future relationship that you wont give
-to avoid selfishness talk about what the other person needs in order to have an orgasm and not just you.

Is very wierd, bro. My family always told me that sex is the most normal thing in the world and I don't even follow a religion. Actually, that frustrates me a lot, cause' nobody has ever told me that the sex is a taboo or something like that, the fault of converting sex in taboo is only on me.
When I was diagnosed with OCD, I realized that the fear is become a rapist, or simply a bad person and I think that is manifesting in my sexuality.