• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

pure o

B

bangalore

Active member
Joined
Aug 28, 2014
Messages
43
I struggle with intrusive thoughts or more often the intense fear and obsession of having intrusive thought. I also get lots of fear around bad things happening. I am quite ill at times and I am not on any medication. I do believe a lot of my anxiety came from childhood trauma. It has got better and at one time I used to feel a wave of fear and shame everytime I saw someone as I walked around. It has eased off a lot and I am lucky to have friends that are their for me. In 1998 I lived in London and was at dance school my mental health got a lot worse and I was terrified of my mind it was like I had a very punishing bully in my head and I was petrified of having intrusive thoughts. I was living in a bedsit away from my family and support, I had was skint and this state of mind has been around for about 19 years. It has got better and I am grateful to have a lovely home and have support.
I was in so much mental pain back then that I had to make a decision that if this is as good as it gets then so be it, my spirit got stronger and this has helped me a lot. No matter what I am not killing myself and I will keep on pushing through, that resilience and perservance has helped me survive my mental pain.
I say to myself I am not this mind, I am not this body, I am a spirit having a physical experience.
 
S

Se7en

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 4, 2015
Messages
100
Are you against going on medication? There's some great ones out there that help tremendously! Sorry you've had such a hard time for so long. Glad you've decided against suicide- don't know if you're a believer or not but the resulting destination for suicides isn't worth it. I hope you opt for medication, it's made a world of difference for me.
 
B

bangalore

Active member
Joined
Aug 28, 2014
Messages
43
Thank you for your post. I have had very bad experience coming of seroxat and sulpride (anti pschoctic). I had fits and unvoluntary body movements for 18 months. They took me of off to quick 1 , half then nothing and I had lelectric tremors in my brain. I have recovered from this as it was over 20 years ago. I still get the pure o stuff and I am grateful for this forum. To know others have their own struggles, it does help to have the support of you and others.
I don't want to put anyone off taking meds as it is a personal choice, I am lucky that the two year paranoid psychosis I had in my 20's has not come back. I try and stay in the moment. Thanks again from Bangalore
 
Last edited:
B

bangalore

Active member
Joined
Aug 28, 2014
Messages
43
Checking something in my mind over and over again. It might of happened and checking it over and over again is very draining. I can switch subjects or situations, it obsevive thinking, that is what I struggle with. I can not work it all out in my mind, I try and all is does is put me in anxiety and being stuck in obsessional loops.
I had a bit of therapy, I do not think anything can stop it completely. I am back running and I enjoy this. I try not to become a mental health label as this just compounds the problem. I am more than the thoughts.
 
Top