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Pure-o OCD or Bi-polar disorder?

R

ReinventLove

Guest
I've been having horrible intrusive thoughts since about sixth grade, so it's been about three, almost four years now. Sometimes they're graphic, and other times it's just random insults to friends. I have this stupid fear that people can hear what I'm thinking, which just makes it worse. I have no desire to actually take action on the thoughts, they just randomly happen until I'm completely focused on suppressing them. I also tend to obsess over thinks I've said to people, sometimes for hours, worrying about whether they thought I came off as creepy, or worry if I should have said something a different way. I also get random depressive episodes, where I lose motivation to do literally anything. I have this fear that Im somehow faking it, and that for some reason I subconsciously want a mental illness. I've been having suicidal thoughts and have been self-harming lately, and I think I really need to tell my parents. I'm just scared they won't understand, or will just brush me off. I need to know that my symptoms are valid before I tell them, and I need an idea of what I have so I can get properly diagnosed. I realize a professional will most likely be able to identify the symptoms, I just want to be sure.
 
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Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi ReinventLove and welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear that you are suffering so. I think, if your symptoms are causing you such concern, that they're valid enough already. Talk to your parents if you can and stress how worried you are.

As far as diagnosis goes, it's best to leave that completely to the professionals. You don't need to have something in mind to get properly diagnosed. All I can say, based on what you've said, is that it doesn't sound like bipolar disorder to me.

You really do need to ask for help if you're feeling suicidal at times. Don't let this go on. Also, please try to distract yourself when you feel the urge to self-harm.

I hope you manage to talk to your parents.

Take care and stay safe. :hug1:
 
G

Garibaldi1

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
22
I've had similar thoughts in terms of worrying that I'm faking it/subconsciously wanting a mental illness. It's easy for me to says its a load of bollocks now but harder for you to accept due to you not being "labelled" with anything yet...believe me, you have genuine mental health issues at the moment and that's all that matters in terms of the fact you need to get help. Try not to worry about how weird or different you may come across (again easy for me to say) to docs as they will simply try and help you the best they can, they are not there to judge you and there is nothing for you to be judged negatively upon as this is NOT your fault. You deserve help and support and I hope you get it (Y)

It sounds like some sort of mix between an obsessive disorder and depression (possibly one causing the other) but experts will know better...just thought I'd mention that in case you look back at this forum, so you know it is definitely a real condition you need to get supported with, I 100% know you are not making it up, as much as the obsessions are trying to convince you that you are (bastards those obsessions!)
 
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