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Pure O and emptiness

R

rolotomassi

Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2013
Messages
18
Hi,

I was wondering if people feel a sense of emptiness within their OCD.

Following a tough year my mood deteriorated and I decided to see a therapist and started anti-depressants and I saw a massive improvement, I started to understand myself a bit more, off the anti-depressants, before where I could barely leave the house I am now working part time, volunteering part time, learning a new language and applying for graduate schemes and in therapy I have been told I have Obsessive Compulsive thoughts, more so along the Pure O spectrum as my Compulsions are more mental than physical and I feel better about myself and more confident and like I have purpose again.

But in the past year where the Obsessive thoughts have been more prevalent and causing panic attacks and depressive slumps I have really struggled to feel anything, I tend to feel more negative emotions more and almost no positive emotions. There is a real annoyance and hatred of friends over silly little things and I am not listening to people I am more waiting for my turn to be the centre of attention and talk and I used to be a great listener. It is like now I just don't care about people and care more about myself. So in a way I feel like a recluse because I don't want to spend time with people rather than not wanting to spend time outside of the house.

Not also to be melodramatic, but I can't remember the last time I was happy, I have struggled enjoying things since I was 16 and it is more being wrapped up in something than enjoying it. Almost like limiting the negative thoughts is my happiness and I am just wondering if that is something that affects other people and whether this will pass or not as I learn to deal more with my OCD.

Thanks
 
J

john2054

Former member
hi rolottom, trust me you are not the only one who can get a little self-obsessed. let me know if there is anything i can do for you okay?
 
R

rolotomassi

Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2013
Messages
18
It isn't too much the self-obsessed as prior to going to therapy I was trying to save the world and I was told I need to be more narcissistic but it just feels like instead of being more selfish I have given up on feeling anything for other people and specifically I don't enjoy anything. I feel in a way like "Damn, I'm good" when I am having a good day, but not actually any happiness or enjoyment. That is what I am worried about at the moment. Will I ever feel positive emotions again.
 
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