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PTSD from loss of Brother

L

Lost Bear

Member
Joined
May 12, 2021
Messages
15
Location
U.S.A.
Last June my older brother passed away on me. I was his full time caretaker for many years. The trauma of his death, the inability of me giving him CPR to bring him back, haunts me. I already have PTSD, among other things, my new provider says I also have PTSD over his death.. Has anybody else ever hear of this. Yes I am still grieving, and want to let go and be with him
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,196
Location
US
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you were about the best sibling he could have asked for. I do not know about this type of ptsd, so I'm sorry I can't help with that. I know that the anniversary coming up makes it all the harder, and I pray for you to have strength in facing it.
 
L

Lost Bear

Member
Joined
May 12, 2021
Messages
15
Location
U.S.A.
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you were about the best sibling he could have asked for. I do not know about this type of ptsd, so I'm sorry I can't help with that. I know that the anniversary coming up makes it all the harder, and I pray for you to have strength in facing it.
Thank You
 
Supermansgirlfriend

Supermansgirlfriend

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Mar 31, 2021
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618
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Lancashire
So sorry you're struggling, time heals slowly be gentle to yourself, love and hugs to you 🙏♥♥♥
 
R

RockyMountainsGirl

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Joined
May 1, 2021
Messages
199
Location
Alberta, Canada
Last June my older brother passed away on me. I was his full time caretaker for many years. The trauma of his death, the inability of me giving him CPR to bring him back, haunts me. I already have PTSD, among other things, my new provider says I also have PTSD over his death.. Has anybody else ever hear of this. Yes I am still grieving, and want to let go and be with him
I'm so sorry to hear about the losses you are grieving. There's PTSD and C-PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress syndrome), which psychologists tell me calls for trauma-focused therapy. I have C-PTSD.

Some people with PTSD experience a traumatic event or series of events. Some with regular PTSD can't handle talking about their trauma. They get flashbacks and nightmares.

I, on the other hand, feel a sense of relief when I talk about my traumas. Traumas can pile up, and some develop in childhood, occasionally if a parent has narcissism and has abused and neglected the child.

I have tried a type of therapy called dialectic-based therapy (DBT). Some of it has been useful but it hasn't kept the nightmares at bay.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Jan 4, 2013
Messages
20,416
Location
England
Hi Lost bear,
I'm so very sorry for your loss, I had to do CPR on my dad. He sadly passed away a couple of years ago.
Please if you need someone to talk to, I'm happy to help.
Please don't blame yourself, it's hard to do CPR on loved ones.
I blame myself to, for not being able to save him.
Hugs
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,341
Location
USA
Last June my older brother passed away on me. I was his full time caretaker for many years. The trauma of his death, the inability of me giving him CPR to bring him back, haunts me. I already have PTSD, among other things, my new provider says I also have PTSD over his death.. Has anybody else ever hear of this. Yes I am still grieving, and want to let go and be with him
Sorry to hear of your struggles. My only brother and my mother died a few days apart several years ago-unrelated causes, my brother died of cancer and my mom had a heart attack brought on by her cancer. Then, I got locked in a miserable 2 year probate battle with my only living relative.

I toughed it out for 2 years without showing much effect or emotion-I was tied up in the funeral preparations and then involved in the probate fight. But, after it was over with I started feeling depressed and couldn't shake out of it. I wasn't sleeping and I was drinking a little bit to make me feel better. On top of it, I had been on SSRI medication for lifelong clinical depression and my body had become acclimated to the same medication for 20 years-it wasn't doing it's job anymore.

A few events came together including some very high stress at work and I had my first-and only-emotional breakdown. I was at a prescription review appointment with the my clinic's Psychiatrist and she recognized something was very wrong. Asked me a few questions about my condition and then said she was having me admitted to hospital for 'suicide watch'. I argued that I didn't need hospitalization and I'd handle it myself, she refused to back down and said she had the authority to admit me whether I agreed or not. With that I broke down and emotionally went to pieces right there in her office. Not something I am proud of today, but she was absolutely right in her decision-I was beyond taking care of myself and I didn't recognize it. I needed people to step in and direct my affairs until I felt better. So, I guess that event complies with your 'PTSD brought on by a death in the family'.

Given the right set of circumstances anyone can reach their limits. Strong soldiers in combat break down after days under continuous artillery fire, it was documented during WW1. Anyone can reach that point, you need not feel ashamed.

If you are at a similar point, I advise you to seek the help of professionals. Up to that point in my life I had never been in a hospital overnight before-in over 60 years. Yet, the few days I spent there for that incident really helped me and refreshed me. There were study groups, clinics, discussion, good food and people trained to lead you out of whatever condition is harming you. Best of luck and hope you square things away soon, as I did.
 
R

RockyMountainsGirl

Well-known member
Joined
May 1, 2021
Messages
199
Location
Alberta, Canada
Sorry to hear of your struggles. My only brother and my mother died a few days apart several years ago-unrelated causes, my brother died of cancer and my mom had a heart attack brought on by her cancer. Then, I got locked in a miserable 2 year probate battle with my only living relative.

I toughed it out for 2 years without showing much effect or emotion-I was tied up in the funeral preparations and then involved in the probate fight. But, after it was over with I started feeling depressed and couldn't shake out of it. I wasn't sleeping and I was drinking a little bit to make me feel better. On top of it, I had been on SSRI medication for lifelong clinical depression and my body had become acclimated to the same medication for 20 years-it wasn't doing it's job anymore.

A few events came together including some very high stress at work and I had my first-and only-emotional breakdown. I was at a prescription review appointment with the my clinic's Psychiatrist and she recognized something was very wrong. Asked me a few questions about my condition and then said she was having me admitted to hospital for 'suicide watch'. I argued that I didn't need hospitalization and I'd handle it myself, she refused to back down and said she had the authority to admit me whether I agreed or not. With that I broke down and emotionally went to pieces right there in her office. Not something I am proud of today, but she was absolutely right in her decision-I was beyond taking care of myself and I didn't recognize it. I needed people to step in and direct my affairs until I felt better. So, I guess that event complies with your 'PTSD brought on by a death in the family'.

Given the right set of circumstances anyone can reach their limits. Strong soldiers in combat break down after days under continuous artillery fire, it was documented during WW1. Anyone can reach that point, you need not feel ashamed.

If you are at a similar point, I advise you to seek the help of professionals. Up to that point in my life I had never been in a hospital overnight before-in over 60 years. Yet, the few days I spent there for that incident really helped me and refreshed me. There were study groups, clinics, discussion, good food and people trained to lead you out of whatever condition is harming you. Best of luck and hope you square things away soon, as I did.
I have clinical depression too. Mine is called major depression and I have insomnia as a symptom.

It's good to hear you're better and that the hospital you were in had such great services. The 'mental health' hospital stays where I live are nothing like what you describe, but there's no way around them if you're feeling suicidal. I took myself to the hospital once.

I'm going through a rough time now, having withdrawn from 70% of my antidepressant medication for medical reasons, but it's great to post in this forum. I don't feel alone with my illness and occasionally I think I might be imparting shards of knowledge that could help someone.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,196
Location
US
I have clinical depression too. Mine is called major depression and I have insomnia as a symptom.

It's good to hear you're better and that the hospital you were in had such great services. The 'mental health' hospital stays where I live are nothing like what you describe, but there's no way around them if you're feeling suicidal. I took myself to the hospital once.

I'm going through a rough time now, having withdrawn from 70% of my antidepressant medication for medical reasons, but it's great to post in this forum. I don't feel alone with my illness and occasionally I think I might be imparting shards of knowledge that could help someone.
You def are. Thank you, and hang in there. It is super helpful to come here :)
 
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